- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Special Needs
This is the ADHD, right?
This is a perfect example of what makes me completely batty when dealing with DS.
I wanted him to start studying for his geography test coming up first week of February. It's on the country of Peru- cities, rivers, mountains, etc. He has the map that he completed in class, which I just saw the other day on his desk. I told him to go in his room, find the map, and do some studying. OMG. Ten minutes later I hear him in there, go check on him, and he's just standing in the middle of his room- he "can't find" the map. I ask where he looked and he points to his desk, his backpack and then to a the toy area- which is so annoying to me because why would it ever be there? AGH!
I look at his desk where two piles of papers/books are. I tell him to look there. Couple minutes later he said he looked and it's not there. I, very irritated because I know it's right there, go over to the pile and it's the third paper in. OMG. It takes everything in me not to yell, "Did you even LOOK?" It's like, how is it possible that at 8 1/2 he doesn't know how to look through a pile (like 7 or 8 papers) throughly?
I honestly feel that had I not gone over to the pile to find it, he would have been in there forever and may never have found it.
Also, he just doesn't see messes, and I know I'm an adult and a mom, but really, a big huge pile of mess doesn't even register to him- let alone does he think there is something within it.
And on a side note, you know what else is really weird that I've never gotten an answer for or talked about, but he never just went into his room to play with all the toys he's always had. I know he doesn't like to be alone, but still, we always had bins in his room, still do, with all the toys organized inside. I can't tell you I have ever seen him in there, pulling out the bins to play with the toys inside. I bet he doesn't even know what is in there. The only time he has ever done that is when I've forced him to go play with his toys because I had to get ready or something. Most kids can/like to sit in their room and play with toys, right?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: This is the ADHD, right?
I do Auntie, send him in there by himself to find his things, whatever it may be. I know- if he lacks the EF (the organizer of the brain) then it would suffice to say that it's ridiculous that I do it. I guess I just don't want to give up in the sense of not letting him have the practice of trying on his own, first. If something is where it should be, like HW in the folder for example, we're fine. But if it's in any other place we're totally screwed because he'll not only not know where it is, but have no idea how to find it. That baffles my mind.
I know I need to assist him in devising a plan of attack- and I'll gladly do it. I guess I just need to know that he CAN master it if I am helping him. It seems counter-intuitive...like, we're told that we have to let them do things by themselves so they can learn...I guess this fable doesn't hold for ADHD kids.
Re: the toy thing. Yeah, it's weird and I've always thought it so. He would only play with toys, and then very fondly, if we played with him. And in the summer months, when he got a little older, we'd be in the back yard and I wanted to do yard work. I'd provide plenty of toys for him- balls, scooters, sandbox, you name it, and while I weeded he'd literally just walk around staring at the ground in his own world. He would hang out with me a lot too and we'd have conversation, but then I'd be like "why don't you get some toys out and play?" And then I'd look over and he'd just be wandering around, hands in his pockets, in his own world. It was SO irritating that he didn't play with his stuff and I remember thinking about my own childhood and playing outside all.day.long. I didn't need anyone to help me play- I just did it and had to be dragged inside, dirty as all heck, and forced to go to bed.
I know Auntie, I know I know. I admit it. I am critical and frustrated most of the time and it's time for me to step up- I cannot allow myself to be in that frame of thinking any longer- the "I could do these things at 8, why can't he?" or the "we have just done everything for him for so long, it's time he start doing it himself"- all that thinking has got. to. stop. And it's screwy because I only want him to have a good life, and the idea that I could possibly contribute negatively to that makes me sick. It's so convoluted.
Thank you for calling me out and comparing it to the teacher. You're totally right.
I wish I had someone IRL like your son's IEP coordinator (that is not to say I am not SO grateful for this virtual world)- I am going to force my mind to have that mantra- 10 times or 1000 times- he will get it and get better.
I LOL at the idea of your H getting the stress-induced shingles when he took on the math HW. My H had them a few years back from stress at work and it's awful, I know, so I don't laugh at that. Just the fact that the ADHD IS so stressful to deal with that it produces these sorts of reactions....crazy...
I am going to order both books today- I need to be submerged completely in positive ideas on moving forward- so that I can be a better suited parent to him.
awesome article, thanks for sharing...would printing it out and bringing a copy for my son's teachers I am meeting with today be okay?
Will you continue to share any articles you find that you think are good? I, for one, would appreciate it.
P.S. Picking up prescription for Stratera today.
I know you wouldn't post anything less.
thanks, I'd say fingers crossed, but as we've already pointed out, that's just a little to close to reality. ha-ha.
Oh, and meeting with teachers in t- 2 hours.
It's easier said than done, but we can do it. We have to do it!!