Completely random question (might be flameful)

gracendantho26 · January 2012

Assuming no one here would admit to being homophobic do you know anyone in real life that is anti-gay marriage and/or homophobic that is not Christian (religious)? It seems like when the issue is discussed the two are always mentioned together. This also brings me to the question of whether you know anyone who is pro-life that is not Christian?

Deeeep thoughts....

gracendantho26 · January 2012

I'll go first. I do know men that are homophobic and their views are not tied to any religious beliefs but don't know of any women who are outwardly homophobic but not religious (and please don't confuse "know" with being BFF's). I'm not sure on the topic of abortion.

penguingrrl · January 2012

I know nobody IRL who is against gay marriage. I know several who don't want their church/synagogue/mosque required to perform gay marriages (which they would not be since religious institutions can refuse to marry any couple for any reason) but nobody who approves of legal discrimination.

I know few anti-choice people in real life as well. The one person I know who would be did her training as an RN in city hospitals before Roe v. Wade, so she saw the reality of driving abortion underground. While she would love think think that banning abortion would eliminate it, she has seen firsthand how ineffective it is. She also said she has seen a huge decrease in elective termination thanks to better contraceptive options and education and feels that is the only way in which we'll reduce abortions.

j-w · January 2012

There is some ASS-umption going into my response, but it is a fair assessment, IMO. I know 3 men who'd I classify as homophobic. One of them is a Catholic, but I think his feelings are in no way, shape or form related to his religion. The other 2 that come to mind have no strong religious affiliations that would affect their opinion.

Kristen050 · January 2012

There is a lady at work that I'm pretty sure is homophobic. She doesn't come right out and say she is but from comments she has made it's my opinion she is. I also cannot say for sure that she isn't religious but she never talks about any beliefs in a higher power or going to any sort of church/ worship. I think she is just very conservative and that she will tell anyone.

jettagurl · January 2012

Deep thoughts, indeed.

I don't know anyone who is homophobic, but I wouldn't say it's a hot topic around here (midwest). There are some older people in our church that could very well be, though.

Same with pro-life/non-Christian, I guess. I do know a lot of pro-choice/Christian, though - but they're all in a younger crowd.

Now that I think of it, I can't name any older people that are athiest/agnostic - so I guess I'd just assume they are all pro-life. And I know where ASSuming gets me, of course.

summerbrideDC · January 2012

I can only speak from personal experience, but mine is the same as yours. I know a few homophobic men who are not religious, but most of the homophobic people I know (and that's not a large number) are indeed religious--mainly fundamentalist Christian. And they like to say that they aren't homophobic, because they don't "hate" gay people, they just feel badly that they're going to burn in hell. Charming.

EliseB0323 · January 2012

My parents and several other members of my family are anti-gay marriage. They are not particularly religious, and I would not say they are homophobic in nature. They seem to have nothing against gay people; they treat gay people (including a couple of relatives) just like they treat anyone else; I've never heard they SAY anything homophobic.

However they are adamant that marriage is 1 man 1 woman. The best explanation I can get out of them is that "that's the way it's always been." I don't understand it.

As for abortion, I know lots of people who are against abortion and are not Christian.

gracendantho26 · January 2012

Hmmmm I should not have assumed that no one here would admit to being anti-gay marriage. Of course anyone can respond. Hope I didn't offend anyone.

CleoKitty · January 2012

Yep. My grandpa.

He's not religious at all, he's just a cranky old fart (with an undiagnosed mental illness, FWIW) who doesn't like blacks, gays, or pretty much anyone else for that matter.

CubbyMama · January 2012

My parents are not really religious (we went to church a few times when I was a kid, but they don't attend now, nor do they pray that I know of). They've both been against gay marriage in the past, although I've been working on them.

My mom's argument is the old "if we let two men/women marry, then what's to say people won't then want to marry kids or goats?" When I responded once by saying that those aren't the same thing, because kids and goats can't enter into legal contracts, she kind of paused and said, "Well, that's true." I think she's becoming more liberal as she gets older, and then my dad does kind of slowly absorb her way of thinking sometimes.

Ilumine · January 2012

I do. I have a close male friend who is as atheist as you can be and is homophobic.

His mother was in a lesbian relationship for 3-4 years, during his teen years. He was bullied, physically and emotionally the entire time.

He feels his mother and subsequently any gay man or woman, was very selfish to out her needs before the needs of her children. And that gay marriage will just allow more couples to have children while there is still a climate of distrust and disgust (his words)"

When I mention that we will never get past the distrust/disgust until it is more mainstream, he replied "are you willing to let YOUR CHILD be the test monkeys?

rbzmag · January 2012

Ilumine:
I do. I have a close male friend who is as atheist as you can be and is homophobic.
His mother was in a lesbian relationship for 3-4 years, during his teen years. He was bullied, physically and emotionally the entire time.
He feels his mother and subsequently any gay man or woman, was very selfish to out her needs before the needs of her children. And that gay marriage will just allow more couples to have children while there is still a climate of distrust and disgust (his words)"
When I mention that we will never get past the distrust/disgust until it is more mainstream, he replied "are you willing to let YOUR CHILD be the test monkeys?

Ok. This got me out of lurkdom - late to the party, but I am always that way. I am your friend's "test monkey". Life was fine. I grew up with parents who loved me, hormones that almost killed me and a serious aversion to shopping that most of my friends can't understand. I don't blame the latter on my parents.

Really? Test Monkey? Yes, you've hit a nerve.

Honestly, I can't quite fathom growing up in a straight family. What do you do for Christmas? Because we have a ball with 'Gay Family Christmas' that has lasted over 30 years now. While I could zap the lesbian folk music from my internal play list any day, I would never give up the memories of watching my father get ready for his uniform parties.

I am a very happy adult raised by a gay man and lesbian woman who could be no luckier than to be raised by my folks. And, today, I stand so proud that my state gained enough votes to ensure marriage rights for all (Washington). So no, to answer the original question, I know no one in my circle who is anti-gay marriage. I was taught to surround myself with loving and accepting people who - at the end of the day - only want you to be happy in this world.

Sorry, end the high horse ride now. Just really, really hit a nerve with the "test monkey" deal. That is my life.

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