Moms of 2 - when did life get back to normal?

massdreams · January 2012

I should preface this by stating I've been super sick for 2 weeks now, DH has been working more (he normally works a couple of days and is home with the kids 3 days), and DS2 is having surgery next week that I'm stressed out about, so it's been a bad couple of weeks. But DS2 is 9 months now, and I feel like we're still so far from getting back to normal and always teetering on the brink of disaster. I know everyone says that the change from 1 to 2 children is hard, but I expected things to be a bit more back to normal by now. The house is constantly a disaster, we're always tired and and on edge and one setback, like one of us getting sick, just seems to set us back for weeks. When I try to remember, I feel like when DS1 was 18 months, life seemed to really be normal again (so of course we decided to get pregnant again!), but I don't know if I can wait 9 more months to feel like that! When you had your 2nd child, when do you feel like life became a bit more stable again?

Lexi & Orion's Mommy · January 2012

Big hugs! The transition from 1 to 2 is really hard. What helped me , is i realized, we were once again going to have a new "normal". Also being sick always throws curve balls anyway. I had stomach flu last week, and then this week Lexi has a cough. Had to go out at 3am to get her some medicine last night. Sigh. Just take comfort in every mom of 2 or more has been where you are now, and eventually it will get easier. Just a day at a time

Jaylea · January 2012

I'll let you know when we get there.

DS is 11 months. This is just our "new normal". Things are harried and crazy. I imagine they will be for the forseeable future. But everything is a phase - so soon he'll be more stable moving around, but he'll be constantly moving around... then we have the tantrums/opinions stage, then potty training. Then at about 4 they become somewhat trustworthy (but mouthy!). 5 is great.

So just hang on until then? Big Smile

I know it's tough. I am working on trying to let some things go, but not doing so well just yet.

I think once you're recovered from being sick and you have your DS's surgery behind you (good luck, I hope it's nothing too serious!), you will feel a million times better - and at least like you can keep fighting the battle.

Hang in there.

MrsSDgirl · January 2012

I have 2 boys, and I'm still waiting for life to get back to normal! DH and I are chronically tired, and the house in a mess, but seeing my boys play together makes all of that go away in an instant! I think back to when I was struggling with DS 1 when he was 1 year old, and, compared to now, that was a piece of cake! I'm thinking in another year or so, when DS 2 is a bit more independent and DS 1 is able to help out more, that life will be a little easier. But, I'd also love to hear what the other mamas say!

noonecarewhoiam · January 2012

The PP is right--there will always be a new "normal," and that changes with the developmental stages of your children.

DS#2 turned 4 on Monday and we're entering the golden years. We've been diaper free for a year. The stroller is about to go away. No more naps. We can sleep in until 7:30 some days!

That said, sibling rivalry is a way of life at our house, and the 2 boys have VERY different personalities, which causes some friction. So it's not necessarily easier, but it's different.

Wine helps, too.

sunnyt154 · January 2012

This is a great post! #2 will be coming to our house soon and I am more than a little nervous. Thanks pp's for sharing honestly. (although it is hard to hear)

Brit1017 · January 2012

Ditto everyone else- you won't get "back to" normal, there is a new normal. There are still days when just the thought of making dinner or getting the house clean is exhausting, but they are happening less often. And the older the kids get, the more able they are to entertain themselves for at least short periods of time. Watching them play together is really amazing.

Maybride2 · January 2012

This thread makes me happy and depressed at the same time: happy that the chaos that my life has become is normal, but depressed that it's, well, normal and not going away anytime soon.

Pesky · January 2012

It's always hectic and always running. But we are seeming to have more time to ourselves as the kids get old enough to play with each other and play independently. I think when DS was about 1.5YO - 2YO we saw more of a shift to the kids playing together. Still a bit chaotic but feels more manageable. It's really the 1 year mark when the illness frequency starts to drop so give yourself some time.

Buffy2010 · January 2012

I'm a little further out from the baby phase than most previous posters. My kids are 5.5 and 3.5 and life is great right now. They fight for sure, but also play together really well. I think that things got to a really pleasant level when my youngest turned 3. It was hardest when the youngest was 1-2.5 because my youngest is very active, strong willed, and LOUD. Now they take some cleaning responsibility, sleep well, and often entertain themselves. We can even go to restaurants again!

The first couple of years were really hard, my house was always a mess, I was out of shape, etc etc. There is definitely light at the end of the tunnel. Having two kids is a huge blessing for us!

itsmevkb · January 2012

I guess right around the time we decided to have #3! Honestly, I think around the time the baby was 6 months I felt like we were in a good groove BUT my kids are hardly ever sick, my husband has a somewhat flexible schedule and no-one was ever having surgery so I think those things make a difference. Plus, I have just come to accept that my house will look like a daycare for the next three plus years and that I will probably be tired until my kids are out of the house.

I think once your life slows down a bit you'll begin to feel better and more stable, which is stating the obvious, BUT I think you just need to cut yourself a little more slack.

Jinsy80 · January 2012

I'm still having trouble and DD2 is 13.5 months. She still doesn't consistently sttn though. :-(

Want a personalized experience?

Moms of 2 - when did life get back to normal?

Re: Moms of 2 - when did life get back to normal?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards