Can I vent for a second?

SoxGirl0205 · January 2012

Ok so I realize by posting this I am potentially opening myself up to some flames but I really just need to vent this out and at this point I am so bothered by it that I am willing to accept whatever negative reactions I get.

That being said....

I am SO effing pissed and sick and tired of the some of the posts lately where the 33/34/35 weekers are actually EXCITED that they might be showing signs of labor or wanting their babies to come.

I am laying here in high risk antepartum on complete bedrest where I have been for weeks and will continue to be for weeks (hopefully) FIGHTING to stay pregnant for another day. I am on the max dose of procardia every 4 hours for contractions and am still contracting every 5-7 mins, I LITERALLY have NO cervix (length) left and in fact yesterday when they did the weekly cervical length ultrasound there wasn't even anything there for the tech measure because I am completely funneled to the external os, I am 4 cm dilated and 100% effaced (checked last night due to increased pain) I am literally a time bomb just waiting for my water to break and then that's gonna be it and I am going to have a baby. Last night SO and I sat with a neonatologist for an hour listening to all the things to expect should he be born the short term problems he will most defintely have (breathing, immature lungs, unregulated body temperature, feeding issues, infection issues), the long term problems he could have (gastric issues, heart problems, developmental issues and delays) and the problems that could kill him.

WHY?? Why are these other posters wanting their babies to come early? Why aren't they thinking of the possible what ifs and thinking about what could go wrong with a preterm delivery instead of thinking their LO is ready to "meet them"

Granted I KNOW that NOT all babies born at 34/35 weeks have issues BUT why would ANYONE even risk it? It's one thing if you can't help it and you deliver early but to actually WANT to, or being asking for "natural" induction methods, or KNOWING you are contracting and refusing to go in and get checked out or even call the doctor. This to me is all insanity!! It makes me incredibly sad for those poor LO's who NEED that extra time to grow and thrive...I just dont understand Sad

dojo1 · January 2012

I'm with you, sister. At the same time, I'll never convince someone who's so excited to see their baby that early labour isn't worth it.

FebruaryMom2012 · January 2012

No flaming here. I read these posts and when I scroll down I expect to see people at 38 and 39 weeks and they're at 34. I'm at 35 weeks today and very excited to see my LO but would be upset if he doesn't stay in for at least 3 more weeks. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Good luck.

bellababe80 · January 2012

I agree with you completely. I have never had a premature baby and so far this pregnancy is looking like it will go to 40 weeks but I have a lot of friends who have had their babies early and seen what they go through and I would never want that for anyone.

I don't know why people would want to have a baby who may have to endure numerous surgeries through their life because they came too early and parts were not developed right, or sit in the NICU and not be able to touch your baby and then the machines go off because she stops breathing and there is nothing you can do but watch as the doctors and nurses fight to keep her alive. Thank goodness all the babies I know survived without any major problems but it was a hard time for the parents.

OP I wish you luck in keeping your baby in there as long as possible.

greengirl0909 · January 2012

Exactly. Let your baby's cook friends, that's how it's supposed to work!

MarnieMS · January 2012

FebruaryMom2012:
No flaming here. I read these posts and when I scroll down I expect to see people at 38 and 39 weeks and they're at 34. I'm at 35 weeks today and very excited to see my LO but would be upset if he doesn't stay in for at least 3 more weeks. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Good luck.

That is kinda how I feel. I am ready to not be pregnant and to meet my little man but I can hold out a few more weeks.

addam&tara · January 2012

My heart broke for you when I read your post. I can't even imagine standing in your shoes, and absolutely understand your aggravation with the posts regarding people who want their LO to come sooner. I wish you the best in your pregnancy. You'll be in my thoughts

nomi729 · January 2012

I'm at 37 weeks...I wouldn't mind LO staying in longer but it is getting uncomfortable. But I'd rather be uncomfortable and LO to keep growing so she (g-d willing) will be healthy. And when I was at 33,34,35 I never said I wanted LO to come out and didn't know how all these women were complaining! But after reading your post...wow. I hope your LO stays put until your due date. Best of luck! May your LO be born perfect!!

BabyC2012 · January 2012

Thoughts and prayers are with you OP

namara5532 · January 2012

I agree with you. There are birth stories on here of babies induced at 39 weeks even who ended up with health problems. At 39 weeks myself now, I am anxious to not be pregnant anymore and to have my baby in my arms, but I would rather wait to give him every chance to be born healthy and as developed as he can be.

sassafras007 · January 2012

A freaking men!

I am the mom to a 34 weeker and while we got very lucky with her because she had no major health issues it was still very difficult and we did have NICU time.

I hope that your time goes fast and you will get to meet your LO when they are full term!

PS... Did the doctor mention steroids for the babies lungs?

lovesnack · January 2012

First of all I'm so sorry for your situation. I hope all turns out for the best for you and LO. That being said, I think it can be assumed that no one wants their children to be born early and /or with problems. You're just listening to anxious moms who are excited about getting close to the end and meeting their new babies. They are also uncomfortable and talking/thinking about labor getting started is the topic that's on their mind. I wouldn't take it so personal.

AnnieA75 · January 2012

I totally agree with you! I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. My sister's water broke at 28 weeks. She was hospitalized and was able to hold off delivering until a day shy of 30 weeks. My neice spent a month int he NICU, and it was the scariest time in my sister's life, as well as our entire family. My neice was just under 3 lbs, but she had no major health issues and is now a beautiful, completely healthy 3 year old baby girl. I hope this gives you some home, and I hope things turn out just as well for you. It can happen, and I pray it does for you!

SoxGirl0205 · January 2012

sassafras007:

A freaking men!

I am the mom to a 34 weeker and while we got very lucky with her because she had no major health issues it was still very difficult and we did have NICU time.

I hope that your time goes fast and you will get to meet your LO when they are full term!

PS... Did the doctor mention steroids for the babies lungs?

Yes I already had two rounds, they are trying to hold off on giving me the third round for as long as they can because they said they don't want to "waste" it since the steroids only last 10 days. The "plan" is if I dilate ANY further they will adminster the steroids and if my water breaks they will hook me up to mag for as long as they can, because the mag can have neuro benefits for the baby. I have a wonderful perinatologist who is really doing everything they can but at this point it is just a wait and see situation.

I am so glad your little 34 weeker is healthy and well, thank God.

Jillibean85 · January 2012

lovesnack:
First of all I'm so sorry for your situation. I hope all turns out for the best for you and LO. That being said, I think it can be assumed that no one wants their children to be born early and /or with problems. You're just listening to anxious moms who are excited about getting close to the end and meeting their new babies. They are also uncomfortable and talking/thinking about labor getting started is the topic that's on their mind. I wouldn't take it so personal.

Agree with every word....

Yea, you have those few knuckle heads who are drinking jugs of antifreeze or climbing trees to "naturally induce" themselves at week 31, but i think for the most part some women are just acting like a kid waiting for Christmas... Excited and impatient, but not necessarily wanting the baby to come out early and possibly with problems. Like PP said, don't take it personally..

SoxGirl0205 · January 2012

lovesnack:
First of all I'm so sorry for your situation. I hope all turns out for the best for you and LO. That being said, I think it can be assumed that no one wants their children to be born early and /or with problems. You're just listening to anxious moms who are excited about getting close to the end and meeting their new babies. They are also uncomfortable and talking/thinking about labor getting started is the topic that's on their mind. I wouldn't take it so personal.

I'm not referring to the ones who are just making a general statement about being "excited" or "can't wait to meet my LO" or being uncomfortable. I understand that trust me BUT there have been ACTUAL posts from people asking if there was anything they could do to "naturally" induce labor at 34/35 weeks, or a post on another board (not 3rd tri) where the poster was 33 weeks and said she was contracting every 6 mins and spotting and said "she hoped that meant the baby was going to come soon" exact words...THOSE are the types of posts I was talking about

sassafras007 · January 2012

SoxGirl0205:
sassafras007:

A freaking men!

I am the mom to a 34 weeker and while we got very lucky with her because she had no major health issues it was still very difficult and we did have NICU time.

I hope that your time goes fast and you will get to meet your LO when they are full term!

PS... Did the doctor mention steroids for the babies lungs?

Yes I already had two rounds, they are trying to hold off on giving me the third round for as long as they can because they said they don't want to "waste" it since the steroids only last 10 days. The "plan" is if I dilate ANY further they will adminster the steroids and if my water breaks they will hook me up to mag for as long as they can, because the mag can have neuro benefits for the baby. I have a wonderful perinatologist who is really doing everything they can but at this point it is just a wait and see situation.

I am so glad your little 34 weeker is healthy and well, thank God.

I would ask lots of questions about mag. Everyone reacts differently but definitly talk to the doctor about how it will affect you...

Good luck!

If you have not already go check out the preemie board, they are great!

erbear · January 2012

I agree 100%. And I hope that baby stays in there cooking for 7 more weeks.

jgal84 · January 2012

As someone who has been fighting PTL and a shortened cervix since 25 weeks, I couldn't agree more!! I had a preemie last time and am trying my best not to have one this time. I WANT to make it to 40 weeks!

DBride2006 · January 2012

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through, but I completely agree with you. Pregnancy is 40+ weeks. I hate the "I'm 37 weeks, I hope the baby comes now." Lots of growth and development can happen in 3 weeks AND that's assuming your dates are right on.

I have GD and some doctors (not mine) will induce at 38-39 weeks. I am monitored closely, but I am glad my doctor will let me go to 40 weeks before inducing. This is baby #2 and I am huge, uncomfortable, on a very restricted diet and have to poke myself 5 times a day with needles. I GET wanting to be done, but not at the developmental expense of my baby. This is the first of MANY sacrifices I'll happily make for this child.

cinderella4282 · January 2012

I hope you can hang in there OP!!

I just found out today that I have early signs of preeclampsia . . . now stuck on bed rest with my fingers crossed that I can make it 3-4 more weeks. The thought that I might have to be induced before my LO is ready to come makes me very sad.

I agree and don't fully understand why people want their babies to come before they are ready.

jemgirl202 · January 2012

SoxGirl0205:

Ok so I realize by posting this I am potentially opening myself up to some flames but I really just need to vent this out and at this point I am so bothered by it that I am willing to accept whatever negative reactions I get.

That being said....

I am SO effing pissed and sick and tired of the some of the posts lately where the 33/34/35 weekers are actually EXCITED that they might be showing signs of labor or wanting their babies to come.

I am laying here in high risk antepartum on complete bedrest where I have been for weeks and will continue to be for weeks (hopefully) FIGHTING to stay pregnant for another day. I am on the max dose of procardia every 4 hours for contractions and am still contracting every 5-7 mins, I LITERALLY have NO cervix (length) left and in fact yesterday when they did the weekly cervical length ultrasound there wasn't even anything there for the tech measure because I am completely funneled to the external os, I am 4 cm dilated and 100% effaced (checked last night due to increased pain) I am literally a time bomb just waiting for my water to break and then that's gonna be it and I am going to have a baby. Last night SO and I sat with a neonatologist for an hour listening to all the things to expect should he be born the short term problems he will most defintely have (breathing, immature lungs, unregulated body temperature, feeding issues, infection issues), the long term problems he could have (gastric issues, heart problems, developmental issues and delays) and the problems that could kill him.

WHY?? Why are these other posters wanting their babies to come early? Why aren't they thinking of the possible what ifs and thinking about what could go wrong with a preterm delivery instead of thinking their LO is ready to "meet them"

Granted I KNOW that NOT all babies born at 34/35 weeks have issues BUT why would ANYONE even risk it? It's one thing if you can't help it and you deliver early but to actually WANT to, or being asking for "natural" induction methods, or KNOWING you are contracting and refusing to go in and get checked out or even call the doctor. This to me is all insanity!! It makes me incredibly sad for those poor LO's who NEED that extra time to grow and thrive...I just dont understand

Ok...So Im 33 weeks pregnant and made a post today because I cant get ahold of my Dr. and Im having backpain, contractions and mentrual-like cramps....I am in NO WAY excited for this. I just made a post because I dont know what to do. I want my baby to stay inside me for ATLEAST 4-5 more weeks. I am NOT excited in any way shape or form because I want my baby to be healthy. I thought my post was pretty clear about that.

kcanuck · January 2012

OP and those who are on bed rest hoping for a few more weeks...all the good thoughts your way! Hope your little ones keep baking!!

After early loss issues I'm so freaking excited these days...every week along is another week the baby has cooked and less worry for me if he comes early! I have been blessed and lucky that there is no indication Newbie will come along early. He can keep baking as far as I'm concerned!!

HopingForOne · January 2012

I agree.

If someone is 39 weeks, it wouldn't bother me if they were excited about labour starting, but 33? That's silly.

tqsbride · January 2012

OP, hang in there. I had a friend who had pre-eclampsia and was on medical orders for bedrest for nearly 8 weeks--I remember how upset and stressed she was over any pelvic/cervical pressure she felt. I'm an RN and worked NICU for a year. Can't tell you how many little babies that I've seen in that 33-36 week range that aren't strong enough to go home. Let alone, listening to the new parents stressing over how they'll handle extensive medical bills waiting for them once they get their little one home. Based on my experience, I have no desire for my kiddo to make an early appearance at that 33-36 week range. I feel ya.

OurJellybean · January 2012

I wish you the best of luck and hope baby sticks in for a few more week! I agree also, I miss being pregnant

SoxGirl0205 · January 2012

jemgirl202:
SoxGirl0205:

Ok so I realize by posting this I am potentially opening myself up to some flames but I really just need to vent this out and at this point I am so bothered by it that I am willing to accept whatever negative reactions I get.

That being said....

I am SO effing pissed and sick and tired of the some of the posts lately where the 33/34/35 weekers are actually EXCITED that they might be showing signs of labor or wanting their babies to come.

I am laying here in high risk antepartum on complete bedrest where I have been for weeks and will continue to be for weeks (hopefully) FIGHTING to stay pregnant for another day. I am on the max dose of procardia every 4 hours for contractions and am still contracting every 5-7 mins, I LITERALLY have NO cervix (length) left and in fact yesterday when they did the weekly cervical length ultrasound there wasn't even anything there for the tech measure because I am completely funneled to the external os, I am 4 cm dilated and 100% effaced (checked last night due to increased pain) I am literally a time bomb just waiting for my water to break and then that's gonna be it and I am going to have a baby. Last night SO and I sat with a neonatologist for an hour listening to all the things to expect should he be born the short term problems he will most defintely have (breathing, immature lungs, unregulated body temperature, feeding issues, infection issues), the long term problems he could have (gastric issues, heart problems, developmental issues and delays) and the problems that could kill him.

WHY?? Why are these other posters wanting their babies to come early? Why aren't they thinking of the possible what ifs and thinking about what could go wrong with a preterm delivery instead of thinking their LO is ready to "meet them"

Granted I KNOW that NOT all babies born at 34/35 weeks have issues BUT why would ANYONE even risk it? It's one thing if you can't help it and you deliver early but to actually WANT to, or being asking for "natural" induction methods, or KNOWING you are contracting and refusing to go in and get checked out or even call the doctor. This to me is all insanity!! It makes me incredibly sad for those poor LO's who NEED that extra time to grow and thrive...I just dont understand

Ok...So Im 33 weeks pregnant and made a post today because I cant get ahold of my Dr. and Im having backpain, contractions and mentrual-like cramps....I am in NO WAY excited for this. I just made a post because I dont know what to do. I want my baby to stay inside me for ATLEAST 4-5 more weeks. I am NOT excited in any way shape or form because I want my baby to be healthy. I thought my post was pretty clear about that.

I was not referring to your post nor have I seen it. Sorry if what I said offended you

jemgirl202 · January 2012

SoxGirl0205:
jemgirl202:
SoxGirl0205:

Ok so I realize by posting this I am potentially opening myself up to some flames but I really just need to vent this out and at this point I am so bothered by it that I am willing to accept whatever negative reactions I get.

That being said....

I am SO effing pissed and sick and tired of the some of the posts lately where the 33/34/35 weekers are actually EXCITED that they might be showing signs of labor or wanting their babies to come.

I am laying here in high risk antepartum on complete bedrest where I have been for weeks and will continue to be for weeks (hopefully) FIGHTING to stay pregnant for another day. I am on the max dose of procardia every 4 hours for contractions and am still contracting every 5-7 mins, I LITERALLY have NO cervix (length) left and in fact yesterday when they did the weekly cervical length ultrasound there wasn't even anything there for the tech measure because I am completely funneled to the external os, I am 4 cm dilated and 100% effaced (checked last night due to increased pain) I am literally a time bomb just waiting for my water to break and then that's gonna be it and I am going to have a baby. Last night SO and I sat with a neonatologist for an hour listening to all the things to expect should he be born the short term problems he will most defintely have (breathing, immature lungs, unregulated body temperature, feeding issues, infection issues), the long term problems he could have (gastric issues, heart problems, developmental issues and delays) and the problems that could kill him.

WHY?? Why are these other posters wanting their babies to come early? Why aren't they thinking of the possible what ifs and thinking about what could go wrong with a preterm delivery instead of thinking their LO is ready to "meet them"

Granted I KNOW that NOT all babies born at 34/35 weeks have issues BUT why would ANYONE even risk it? It's one thing if you can't help it and you deliver early but to actually WANT to, or being asking for "natural" induction methods, or KNOWING you are contracting and refusing to go in and get checked out or even call the doctor. This to me is all insanity!! It makes me incredibly sad for those poor LO's who NEED that extra time to grow and thrive...I just dont understand

Ok...So Im 33 weeks pregnant and made a post today because I cant get ahold of my Dr. and Im having backpain, contractions and mentrual-like cramps....I am in NO WAY excited for this. I just made a post because I dont know what to do. I want my baby to stay inside me for ATLEAST 4-5 more weeks. I am NOT excited in any way shape or form because I want my baby to be healthy. I thought my post was pretty clear about that.

I was not referring to your post nor have I seen it. Sorry if what I said offended you

Oh no, Im not offended at all! I just wanted to make clear that I do not want my little man to come early. I cant wait until he gets here but I dont want him to come now. I was actually getting nervous with all the symptoms that I was getting. I hope everything goes well for you and your baby stays put until he is perfectly ready to come out.

BrookeAWestling · January 2012

I don't know the situations of the women you're referring to, but maybe to give some perspective: I'm 35 weeks (in 5 minutes, woo hoo!). I've been admitted 4 times for PTL (about 2 weeks total in hospital plus countless trips for monitoring), was on mag for several days on two occasions, had two sets of steroid shots for lo's lungs (at 31 weeks and 33 weeks), I have constant (ever 1-3 minutes) contractions, but all medications have stopped working....it's been hell.

While I don't "want" lo to be a preemie and I'm fully aware of the possible complications on top of the fact that he has a heart condition that will require open heart surgery within a few days of birth, I am finally starting to breathe a sigh of relief that I've made it this far (the entire team of doctors are all "ok" with lo making his appearance whenever it happens at this point), and am allowing myself to start getting excited to meet him, instead of feeling complete fear and dread every time I feel my contractions kick in again.

I'm assuming that the other women aren't in the same position, but I also don't know that for sure. Just thought maybe I could add a little bit of a different perspective.

And OP, hang in there, I was there, and it SUCKED. The steroid shots hurt, the mag makes you feel inhuman, bed rest is miserable, but you're doing what you need to do. I hope your story ends with a happy healthy baby and mom

mommybrynn · January 2012

I am definitely at the point where I wish I was a little farther along because I feel like I am getting to the point where I am just DONE... it's tough working full time, DH is working full time and in school full time, I have to take care of DD, and my insomnia is just unreal this time. BUT, I would be devastated if DS was born today. I want him to bake for as long as possible! I can't imagine HOPING for early labor. I just suck up the days I am uncomfortable because I want what is best for baby, not what is best for me.

eav2c · January 2012

I'm a little late on this but just wanted to say I'm with you and agree. No flames here whatsoever! I hope your LO stays put for now but I send massive amounts of T&P's out to you!! Hope LO stays cookin' til he's good and ready!

AlabamaMamma224 · January 2012

Wishing you a safe pregnancy and a healthy baby!

LillyGrrl · January 2012

I agree about people in the 33/34/35 mark saying they want to have their babies. However, someone at 37 weeks well, last I checked 37 was still considered full term according to the ACOG so if someone is starting to try "natural methods" at 37 weeks I think that's fine, so long as they are aware that baby comes when baby comes.

lurkeyloo · January 2012

I totally agree with you OP! I hope your baby stays put for as long as possible! T&Ps to you!

Auburngirl32 · January 2012

I was wondering when someone else would say it. Ive been thinking it myself. Im sorry to hear about what you are going through. I will pray for you, SO, and LO. Sending good thoughts your way.

PrettyBabyBlues · January 2012

I'm so with you on this.

I was at my birthing class and the teacher informed us that one of the couples was going into "preterm labor" and one of the girls in the class actually said, "Lucky!" Really loud in front of everyone. ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I'm pretty sure the woman going into Preterm labor at 34 weeks doesn't feel so lucky and is scared out of her mind. The teacher asked her why she said that and she was like, "Because pregnancy sucks and she actually gets to meet her baby sooner." Well Sorry honey, but even though she may get to "meet" them sooner, doesn't mean that she will be able to hold them and take them home for quite some time. Urg... just bothers me because it's such a selfish attitude.

Althea5880 · January 2012

OP, I am so sorry for your situation. I can't imagine how scary and stressful it must be. It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job of doing everything you can to get your LO earthside as healthy as possible. I also can't imagine your frustration at the thoughtless posts you've seen. Some people just don't think before they type. Some people don't have the capacity to even think about how someone in your situation might feel when they read their comments. It's sad. Anyhoo, I'm sending positive vibes your way.

I know that every situation is different, but I just wanted you to know that 26 years ago, my DH was porn prematurely at barely 32 weeks. (HELPP syndrome) He spent his first weeks of life in the NICU. Today, he is an incredibly intelligent, handsome man with no health problems. I just wanted to share a positive story of a premie that I love very much. I found that when I was going through cancer treatment, positive stories helped me keep hope in my heart.

SoxGirl0205 · January 2012

PrettyBabyBlues:

I'm so with you on this.

I was at my birthing class and the teacher informed us that one of the couples was going into "preterm labor" and one of the girls in the class actually said, "Lucky!" Really loud in front of everyone. ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I'm pretty sure the woman going into Preterm labor at 34 weeks doesn't feel so lucky and is scared out of her mind. The teacher asked her why she said that and she was like, "Because pregnancy sucks and she actually gets to meet her baby sooner." Well Sorry honey, but even though she may get to "meet" them sooner, doesn't mean that she will be able to hold them and take them home for quite some time. Urg... just bothers me because it's such a selfish attitude.

THIS is the type of attidude I am talking about....YES being pregnant is uncomfortable and hard BUT pregnancy does not "suck" and there are millions of women who struggle with infertility who would LOVE to be pregnant and uncomfortable.

What "sucks" is watching the child that has grown inside of you for months laying in an incubator struggling to breathe and eat and regulate their temperature, what "sucks" is only being able to hold your own child for a few mins at a time because they aren't stable enough to be in your arms for that long. What "sucks" is having to take your child to numerous follow-ups and doc visits after discharge and always worrying about a new problem coming up. I don't know where attidudes like that come from but like you said they are completely selfish.

salt78 · January 2012

No flames from me. Those posts drive me nuts too. I'm to the point where I'm really starting to be over being pregnant, but I'll gladly take another month and a half of discomfort for her health and safety.

Sending good vibes to you. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

tartaruga · January 2012

The whole "get to meet my baby sooner! " thing kind of makes me roll my eyes. You have the rest of your life to know your baby. A few weeks is not much time in the scheme of things.

ealta · January 2012

Agreed100% Good luck and stay positive!

Want a personalized experience?

Can I vent for a second?

Re: Can I vent for a second?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards