How long did you wait to tell you boss/work?

cj1202 · January 2012

I'm 21 weeks and STILL havent told my boss. A few coworkers know. But is it weird... I'm scared to tell her!? I KNOW she'll be understanding ( as she was/is a single mom of 2 teenage boys now)--- but I feel like I'll be letting her down, because the little one is coming during our busiest time, and I'm def going to be missing a conference, that I pretty much run.... UGH.

I feel like if I started to show more, I would feel motivated to tell her... but I can still hide the weight and my tiny bump pretty well. No excuse , I know

I know I have to tell her sooner, rather than later so they can figure out who will take on my conference... but I'm just scared. Also - my FMLA doesn't kick in till April and the babe is due in May. Does anyone know how I go about that process...just go to HR? Or the hospital?

How did you tell your boss? Or HR? Keep in mind... I'm not married or engaged...even though my boss isn't, my office is VERY judgemental and catty.

Pachita · January 2012

I'm 16 weeks and just told some coworkers today. Planning on telling my boss in the next few days.

Nicolet3825 · January 2012

My BF and I both work at the same place. We are on opposite shifts and he is a supervisor. He told our department manager around 8 weeks. I got off pretty lucky on that one.

I think you should just tell her. Especially since you have co-workers that already know. It will be much better for her to hear it from you. I am sure she will be happy for you and you are stressing for no reason. Good luck!

Sillylttleone · January 2012

I would speak with HR first, advise you are looking to get your rights and wish that this news be kept confidential. Once you know what to expect, I would sit down with your boss and explain the news. Keep the conversation positive, and even though you'll be missing the big conference, explain to her how you can help whoever will now schedule it in your absence. Once you tell her, you will feel SO much better... Good Luck!

phq2011 · January 2012

I told my supervisor way early because I really had no other way of explaining why I needed to run to the bathroom so much. I suggest you find out your rights with HR, and my company advise's that you fill out the final paperwork about a month before your due date. As to your boss, she really has no right to be upset with you, but she does need to know soon so she can make appropriate arrangements for a temporary replacement. As your boss, it would be very stressful to find that replacement in a short amount of time so the sooner the better.

meangene · January 2012

Ditto PP - Call HR first. Last time, I waited until 16 weeks to tell, but I had spoken with HR weeks earlier and discussed my FMLA/benefits/paperwork etc.

BeerBeck · January 2012

During my last pregnancy, (different boss), I was scared to feath to tell her because, unlike yours, she doesn't have kids, doesn't want kids, and, overall, pretty much hates kids. (She said something along the lines of 'kids are just a way of ruining perfectly good women', before she knew I was pregnant.)

Anyway, in my case, I waited until I was about 26 weeks. Frankly, I know it was a little late but, in reality, the Policies & Procedures for our company said that she only needed 4 weeks notice, so I gave plenty more than required.

Needless to say, my fears were right and she made my life a living hell afterwards.

venussapphire · January 2012

Since I'm not showing I haven't told my boss. When I start to show and it becomes hard to hide then i will. In my contract I only have to give work 4 weeks notice before extended leave. Although I expect to be showing by then!

lpichach · January 2012

I was terrified to tell my boss as well! I JUST told them the other day and I'm 19 weeks tomorrow! At least your boss is a mother and would understand, mine is a 34 year old unmarried, no kids female. The sooner you get it out the better, you'll feel so much better and really, there's not much you can do about it as with them. They can only be happy for you! The earlier you tell them, the more time they have to prepare for your absence.

I told her by updating her on other things, made small chat, then said, I'm expecting in June! Then highlighted all the work I've done and will be doing and made recommendations for my fill-in

good luck!!

eav2c · January 2012

I didn't tell until it was pretty much noticeable (around 21ish weeks). People weren't necessarily for sure I was pregnant but if you looked it was obvious. Likewise, we didn't even tell DH's parents til 14-15 weeks. Just a matter of preference I think.

I wouldn't worry about the catty-ness of your office. They are really the least component in this entire situation and can shove it as far as I'm concerned. As well, I'd just be completely open with your boss. This isn't necessarily an easy way to go about telling but just pull her aside and let her know that your expecting. If she's understanding (which I'm sure she will be) she will lead you to the next direction of how to handle it with HR. However, if it were me, I'd let my boss know before HR (but I'm not sure what the policies are at your place of employment).

Try not to worry about others... they don't matter and don't let them get you down!

ETA: I guess telling your boss before HR is dependent upon your relationship with your boss. After reading responses, there are varying ideas on what to do (and I agree with what others said).

suprchels · January 2012

I told around 15 1/2 weeks... when I felt like I could no longer hide it! (I'm 5'1" and was showing right around then!) I was terrified to tell him... he has no kids, is very work-oriented. He's only in my office every couple of weeks or so, so I was able to hide the m/s. I prefaced the conversation by telling him that it had no impact on my commitment to my job now or in the future, then just came right out and said I was pregnant! After a moment of shock, he was totally understanding and appreciative. You will feel SOOO much better once you get it off your chest!

SunAndRain · January 2012

I'm telling my boss on Monday when I meet with her in person (we have been working in different locations). I'll be 14 weeks. It is a bit early but we work with many friends, some of whom already know and I don't want to risk her hearing it from anyone but me and then wondering why I'm keeping a secret.

SHe is far, far from family oriented, extremely career driven, and does not strike me as an overly empathtic woman. I am somewhat nervous to tell her but I plan to focus on how I will manage my priorities for the year and less on when I will be taking time off. I honestly think she won't accept the news well even if she says all the right things by legal standards. But I can't control her reaction so I'm going to just be as professional as I can and then see where that takes me.

pbringhurst7 · January 2012

I'm 15 weeks and haven't told by HR dept. My immediate boss knows but I didn't want to tell the rest of my coworkers. I kinda wanted it to be my own secret for a while. Plus my coworkers are so chatty and I don't want to hear about their stories or get unsolicited advise from them...

KROCKER81 · January 2012

I'll be 16 wks on Sunday and haven't told any co-workers or my bosses yet. Being in the military and working with pretty much all men....kinda suck when it comes to this stuff. I hope to work out because they all have wives and kids.

GreenMonkey1 · January 2012

Technically you do not have to tell your boss. You do have to tell HR. If you are not comfortable telling your boss then HR will tell boss that you will be taking FMLA from x to y date. They won't tell why unless you authorize them to do so.

I'll tell HR shortly because I like the HR specialist quite a bit. It'll be a while before I tell my boss. He's going to be all up in my grill about the pregnancy and I don't feel like dealing with that for a while.

Want a personalized experience?

How long did you wait to tell you boss/work?

Re: How long did you wait to tell you boss/work?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards