Why aren't Dads allowed in for the ultrasound at first?

llamagoat · January 2012

Hello all,

I'm from Toronto, Ontario and not sure if this is the same as everywhere else but we're expecting twins in June and so we go for quite a few ultrasounds. However, every time we go, my husband has to sit in the waiting room until the end of the ultrasound when they finally call him in. Is there a reason for this?

He is okay waiting for the regular check-up ultrasounds that take about 25 minutes but we were told our A/S which is this Thursday is going to take over 2 hours. He gets lost easily and has no sense of direction. I don't want him wandering around the hospital for 2 hours. I may never see him again.

Is it a safety thing, or do they just not want the husband asking a bunch of questions while they try and concentrate?

Cheers.

mrs+harlow · January 2012

My husband has always been allowed in with me be it a doctor's appointment or a diagnostic ultrasound no questions asked. I've never heard of making the father wait outside.

amy5162 · January 2012

DH has always been allowed right in the entire time, as well as LO.

DomesticDiva0429 · January 2012

mrs+harlow:
My husband has always been allowed in with me be it a doctor's appointment or a diagnostic ultrasound no questions asked. I've never heard of making the father wait outside.

This, maybe it a regional thing...I would ask your doctors whats up

venussapphire · January 2012

i don't understand either. this happened to dh at my u/s. my friend had an u/s at the next town over and they didn't make him wait. i don't see why the father can't be there the whole time.

jess9802 · January 2012

This hasn't been my experience at all - DH has been present for all of my appointments and ultrasounds, including the ultrasound in the hospital ER at 8 weeks.

myheromyworld89 · January 2012

I can't relate. My husband has always been in the u/s and dr. appt with me, from the time I got back to the time I leave. Have you asked them about why they don't ask him to come back as well?

allisonmarie22 · January 2012

My husband has been to every single appointment with me since August when we started IVF. He has never been asked to stay in the waiting room except for procedures like my egg retrieval when I had to be put to sleep. I prefer having him with me, and I would be mad if my doctor told me he couldn't come back with me. As the patient it's my right to say who I want by my side as an advocate, and I would seriously side-eye any doctors office that wasn't 100% supportive of that.

kmoleson1222 · January 2012

They dont let my DH in for the medical history questions at the first appointment and he's not allowed back when they take myvitals (I assume maybe some husbands give wives a hard time about weight gain?) but otherwise he's allowed in for all the appointments, ultrasounds, exams, etc. I'd ask about it.

Sawyerplus1 · January 2012

I'm in Canada too, so maybe there is a difference. I only get 1, 20 week, ultrasound per pregnancy and DH has always had to wait outside for the first bit. We had our a/s this morning and it was the same. I go in by myself while the tech takes the necessary measurements/pictures, and then brings in DH to show us the baby. I'm guessing it's a 2-fold reason: 1. so that the couple and/or DH doesnt ask questions while the tech is getting the measurements (I can imagine that'd be annoying),and 2. in case there's any problems with the baby that could be seen on screen, the tech might want to call in the radiologist or dr to consult before telling the couple, and this may be more difficult if DH is watching.

AprilAngie · January 2012

Im in Alberta (canada) and exact the same thing- it makes me mad. I have asked the tech this before (I am expecting baby # 4) I think that the reason they do this - is to get all the measurements- as they make you lay there so long, and so it doesn't take longer and its not distracting, as they never show me anything until after my dh comes in. as parents, the husband can ask tons of questions- liek a child and they can forget things and like you said this will take 2 hours already and as they have appointments they don't want it being longer than needed. This is my thought anyway- as I have pregnant brain- I can't remember the "tech answer" when I asked. But it is nerve racking sitting by yourself. lol

llamagoat · January 2012

Thanks for the replies. It must be a regional thing then. He has had to wait in two different locations, the first was emergency at 7wks when we thought we were losing the baby. Poor guy had to sit out there for 15 minutes wondering what the hell was going on while I was in there finding out we were having twins.

Sawyerplus1 · January 2012

allisonmarie22:
I would seriously side-eye any doctors office that wasn't 100% supportive of that.

Having read the responses I definitely think it's a Canadian thing. In my experience it's not the doctors that do the u/s, and they're also not at a drs office. It's a separate u/s/x-ray/radiology clinic and the u/s appointment is totally separate from a doctors appointment. The appointments are also very business-like, in my experience. They get the measurements done in about 20 minutes, bring DH in, show us a few key things (this is also the only time that I can see the screen as well), print us a picture or 2, and then we're done. Todays appointment was all of 30 minutes. It's not a big deal to me that they dont bring DH in for the first part, b/c like I said, they don't explain or show me anything anyway, so it's not like DH would know what he was seeing on screen.

TaylorandMel · January 2012

My spouse and mom have been there for every one of my appointments, I would definitely ask why your husband cannot go with you.

strawberrytree · January 2012

It's definitely not a Canada-wide thing- I'm in NS and had mine last week, and my DH was definitely allowed in. There was a big sign in the reception area stating that all women getting a prenatal ultrasound were allowed to bring in one additional person over the age of 12.

ae4245 · January 2012

US here but DH & LO are allowed as soon as I want them (usually right away!). Just ask them if he can come on back

Under.the.Rose · January 2012

I'm in Ontario too and it's always been the same scenario for us. DH waits outside while they take all of their measurements and important medical ultrasound pics of the baby... then they call him in to show us both what the baby looks like etc.

Katie829 · January 2012

This kind of makes me upset. Emotional support is huge. I didn't have my husband there for my first or second u/s. Both were emergent. The first I was by myself and I was petrified to find out something bad. The second time I was with my mom. I desperately wanted me husband there just in case. Plus that is his child too.

Ugh. I am kind of bothered that they do this.

Sovello · January 2012

How awful. I've never even heard of such a thing. I'd change providers if I were you.

JWhite1517 · January 2012

For my very first ultra sound my husband was not allowed in with me at first (and I live in southern california). I thought it was really weird... but the rest of my ultra sounds are in a different place and there he is allowed in the whole time. Sorry I don't really have an answer as to why... but I experienced it too and thought it was weird too.

526SadieSadie · January 2012

mrs+harlow:
My husband has always been allowed in with me be it a doctor's appointment or a diagnostic ultrasound no questions asked. I've never heard of making the father wait outside.

Same here. Ask your doctor next time you go. My mom said they had to go to birthing classes at the hospital or my dad wouldn't be allowed in the delivery room when she had me, but that's not how it is here anymore at all. I have never heard of a father not being allowed in to see an U/S.

ipookie8 · January 2012

Sounds like a Canadian thing.

DH was with me even in our 8-week ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy.

He was in for the a/s (annoying questions and all) and it didn't cause any issues.

Hmm. I'd just request to have him in the whole time and if they decline, then ask for an explanation.

E3A7AGGIE · January 2012

I'd definitely ask. My DH is allowed in for everything, 100% of the time. Honestly, he'd be quite POed if he couldn't be a part of it all.

TBsquared · January 2012

Im from Alberta - same procedure here except our ultrasounds are not at the hospital, they are at an ultrasound clinic. I dont get to see the screen either until the end of the ultrasound because thats when they are doing their work and locating everything they need to take a look at. Once they are done their work they let me go to the bathroom and they go to the waiting room to get my husband and bring him in. At that point you both get to see the screen and baby.

you could always ask how long that first part of the appointment will take and get your DH to come later so hes not sitting around for too long.

appylovee · January 2012

I'm pretty sure this sounds like a Canadian thing. My ex isn't in mine or my babies life, but I have brought my best friend twice, and my mom and dad once. They were all allowed in the entire time.

Jess & Drew · January 2012

This has only happened to me once, but it was in an ER setting so I'm not sure if the same reasoning applies. But I'll tell you what I was told anyways. They told me that DH couldn't come into the ultrasound because in the off chance something was wrong they don't want the husband signaling to the wife that there wasn't a heartbeat or something like that. And then have the wife completely hysterical. The U/S technician said that everyone knows what a flat line means, and that they are a lot better at keeping their game face than an expectant father is. Like I said, this was in the ER, so I'm not sure if that's the reasoning for your appt.

jenna888 · January 2012

Must be an Ontario thing. My experience is the same as above. Supper ANNOYING! HB has waited alone for up to an hour

NicholeeK · January 2012

Last pregnancy, I went to the hospital for my u/s and they let the partners in (only one)... no talking allowed during the measurements though and they wouldn't show either of us the screen until the very end. DH pretty much just sat by my side or in the corner until they were done, and then they showed us a few shots.

This time, I'm going to a different ultrasound clinic and partners are not allowed in until the end. They say it's so that the tech can concentrate and get the measurements, no distractions.

michellepeanut · January 2012

I'm in Canada as well, and my husband has been into all my ultrasounds at 2 different radiology clinics (run by different companies), with the exception of an emergency one at the hospital. Both clinics had signs posted that husbands are not allowed in during the medical portion of the examination but no one has ever enforced this. I would ask around, I think it depends on the clinic and if you advocate for his presence I don't think many will refuse.

raynes · January 2012

I'm in Ontario and have had 2 different experiences, each at a different clinic.

For the IPS scan at 12 wks at one clinic H had to wait in the waiting room until they were done getting measurements then they brought him in. I couldn't see the screen until they brought him in.

For my a/s (at a different clinic) I was in by myself for just a few minutes (cervix and placenta check) then whens he let me go pee she had be bring in my H and my mom and all 3 of us got to watch the whole thing.

So, maybe ask around and see if there's a clinic near you that allows H in? I don't think it's the norm.

eav2c · January 2012

Hm. DH has always been allowed in with me. FWIW, my brother/sil live in Canada and he was always allowed in, too. I'd ask if I were you. I always feel better if DH is with me.

Sawyerplus1 · January 2012

E3A7AGGIE:
Honestly, he'd be quite POed if he couldn't be a part of it all.

But I think the difference is, in my Canadian experience, is that DH isn't "missing" anything. As I said, and other canadian posters have said, the tech doesn't say or show anything to even the mother while she's taking measurements, etc. So the part that DH can come in for is the only "good" part for the mother too, kwim? The only thing DH would be missing out on is standing at the foot of the exam bed in silence while the tech took the pictures.

carebear054 · January 2012

Definitely must be a demographic thing - here in Indiana, my husband has always been allowed in for my ultrasounds.

SpankylovesSparky · January 2012

I don't understand why they wouldn't let him in either, maybe it's just your hospital's protocol? My husband has been present at every ultrasound and they have never made him wait outside for anything. The only thing I would suggest is that maybe you could ask them about this and find out their reason why. I'm sure they must have their reasons. I just don't understand them.

kcanuck · January 2012

michellepeanut:
I'm in Canada as well, and my husband has been into all my ultrasounds at 2 different radiology clinics (run by different companies), with the exception of an emergency one at the hospital. Both clinics had signs posted that husbands are not allowed in during the medical portion of the examination but no one has ever enforced this. I would ask around, I think it depends on the clinic and if you advocate for his presence I don't think many will refuse.

In Alberta here...the norm is to bring hubby (or whoever you brought with you) back after the intial screen is done and they will go over everything with you. However, as I've had lots of losses I just requested that my husband be with me from the get go and they were fine with that. Probably depends on the clinic, but that was my experience at several of them.

Mamasaurus · January 2012

mrs+harlow:
My husband has always been allowed in with me be it a doctor's appointment or a diagnostic ultrasound no questions asked. I've never heard of making the father wait outside.

Same here. Maybe it is a policy at your office because one time they walked in on some parents getting freaky or something? Doctor offices have all kinds of nutty rules, but usually it's because somebody did that dumb thing you would never think to do. For example, my old OB had a sign on the bathroom door that reminded women not to put their purses in the bathroom's urine specimen cabinet. This would not need to be there unless people had actually been doing it!

michellepeanut · January 2012

I live in Canada and have been able to view the screen the entire time (with DH).

mandiemcpherson · January 2012

In the office, DH is there the whole time. When I went for the extended scans, he wasn't until the end. It's the hospital's policy. I'm in the US and for all of mine, DH is called in after the tech has finished her job. She then brings him back and shows us both at the same time. Apparently, some significant others can't behave as the techs are attempting to do their jobs and then something gets missed. It's a shame that the poor behavior of a few cause rules to be in place for everyone...but that's how it works. And, I'd rather have a person do their job, then report to both, rather than miss something important because of a distraction in the room.

hewinked · January 2012

I live in the states, and my DH was not allowed in the room til the end either. At the time I lived in the midwest, and they did that for both of my first 2 pregnancies. DD was not allowed there at all when I was pregnant last time. I live on the east coast now, and he was allowed in the room this time from the very beginning, as well as DD. I don't understand it either.

Sawyerplus1 · January 2012

mdharrison:
Sawyerplus1:

But I think the difference is, in my Canadian experience, is that DH isn't "missing" anything. As I said, and other canadian posters have said, the tech doesn't say or show anything to even the mother while she's taking measurements, etc. So the part that DH can come in for is the only "good" part for the mother too, kwim? The only thing DH would be missing out on is standing at the foot of the exam bed in silence while the tech took the pictures.

Not true, both of my scans the tech has explained everything that she is doing when she is doing it, why they are doing certain measurements and explaining all of the anatomy. He was able to watch the entire thing on the screen they have in front of the bed. I think it was important to have him there and to see all of the anatomy, hear the heart beat and see the tech doing measurements. I think it is all a "good" part.

I'm not sure what part of what I said is "not true". As I said, this was MY experience, and could be the experience of other women whose DHs cant come in until the end too. I was just pointing out that for people who think DH is missing out by not being in the room, or cant support their wife, etc that's not always the case. Obviously, based on this thread, there is a wide variety of "normal" practice for u/s. Your experience is very different from mine (from all 3 pregnancies).

jennyb2be · January 2012

mdharrison:
From Kingston and have never had any issue with it, SO and I go in together each time and he is there for the whole time. The only part of my check-ups he is not there for are the internal exams which is fine by me. Everything else he has been welcomed in for.

This has been my experience so far as well (in Alberta), with all of my appointments, u/s, etc. so I don't think it can be classified as a regional thing-perhaps just the policy of a particular lab or office.

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