Two Under 2
msnehz
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BFP and not feeling great about it
msnehz
member
in Two Under 2
I'm a complete mess right now. I feel overwhelmed, guilty and feel really alone about being pregnant again. I am now considering the unthinkable. I adore both my kids but they were both colicky the first 3 months. #1 didnt STTN until about 15 months. Both would wake up mulitples at night as infant. Both are 30 minute cat nappers, yes, #1 still naps for 30 minutes. I am tired and decided to stop at 2 kids. DH was suppose to have a vasectomy next month. I feel such bad mother, bad person for even considering the unthinkable. I just dont know if Im strong enough to handle another one which will be 14 months apart from #2. I dont know if I will be able to give all three the mommy that they deserve. I am sobbing as I write this post and hating myself for being so irresponsible and wishing I could turn back time. I feel guilty and lost.
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Re: BFP and not feeling great about it
This is why I am happy pregnancy is 9 months. You have a long time to get used to the idea, to prepare, to adjust, and to (hopefully) get excited. It will be okay. It will be hard, but it will be wonderful too. Try to think of the long-term picture of your family, not just the baby/toddler time.
Obviously you need to do waht is best for your family, and I will not lay any opinin or judgement out. Just try to think of 10 or 20 years from now just as much as you think of 10 to 20 months from now.
Married 6/28/03
Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10
4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014
*~*~*~*~*
No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.
"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens
ITA and couldn't have said it better! My DS was planned but once I got that BFP I freaked out! Literally couldn't sleep at night because I kept thinking "what the h3ll did I do???" I felt so guilty about how I felt, but like OP said, thank God pregnancy is 9 months! I totally was only thinking about the bad stuff (sleep deprivation, teething, them getting sick) but now that he is here it's amazing! DS is the BEST baby ever and I was pleasantly surprised. I never thought our 2nd would be so good. Our DS completes our family, and like PP said... that was his purpose!
It will be okay first of all and second I would have the same feelings. Heck I had an oops the other night and I am feeling those things and I don't even have a positive pregnancy test.
I will tell you that my mom had 4 kids and we all feel like we were loved. That is why we don't have memories before 3 lol
You will be alright!
I know exactly how you feel. It will be okay, I promise! I was scared to death when I found out I was pregnant with our third (the condom did not work and we dealt with infertility so never in a million years did I think this was possible).
DH never wanted three kids (I always did but knew that he didn't so I thought that it was not in the cards for us). The pp was 100% right, it is a blessing that pregnancy is 9 months because it gives you time to come to terms with everything. I have come to terms with having three kids (I am still scared to death that I won't be able to handle it) but seeing how excited our kids are about their new brother makes me know that it is worth it! This little man is in our lives for a reason.
No matter what you decide, please know that what you are feeling is totally normal. I would give it a little bit more time and make a decision that works for you. Please take care!
*HUGS*