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Would you be a little hurt too or should I chill? (NBR)

kpowers982kpowers982 member
in Trying to Get Pregnant

DH and I are close friends with a couple.  He and the guy are frat brothers from college, were in each other's weddings, the wife and I are friends, went to each others wedding showers, bachelorette parties, etc.  They have a cute little girl who just turned one.  I was just talking to my BFF and she mentioned, "oh I just saw (name of other friend) at cute little girl's birthday party on Saturday."  Uh...wow, we didn't get invited!  We always go to this couple's events, and invite them to ours, so I'm a little hurt that we were not invited to this one, especially since our other close friends were there.

Just a note I would never make a big deal of this to them, I was just trying to vent a bit and gauge whether or not I am overreacting a bit.  To me it just feels a bit like maybe we value their friendship more than ours.

Hope you're having a good day, thanks for reading!

Cycle 7: BFP 1-17-12, Missed Miscarriage at 8w6d (measured 7w2d, no HB), D&C 2-29-12
Cycle 9: BFP 5-3-12:EDD 1-24-13 It's a girl! Born 12-27-12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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Re: Would you be a little hurt too or should I chill? (NBR)

  • sydsmom04sydsmom04 member
    I think before I jumped to any conclusions, I would just ask. If you are as close as you say, they would feel comfortable enough to talk with you about it. :)
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  • augieskitchenaugieskitchen member
    Maybe they only invited people with kids? Sorry I don't know your whole story..do you have kids? Does your BFF? If your BFF does then that's what I would assume. I would also be hurt though to not be invited out of the blue. You could ask them next time how her birthday was and see if anything comes up but that might cause a little stirring...
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  • kpowers982kpowers982 member

    imagefuture mrs. augustine:
    Maybe they only invited people with kids? Sorry I don't know your whole story..do you have kids? Does your BFF? If your BFF does then that's what I would assume. I would also be hurt though to not be invited out of the blue. You could ask them next time how her birthday was and see if anything comes up but that might cause a little stirring...

    One of my friends that went had kids, the other does not.  Part of me agrees that I could casually bring it up and see what they say, and the other part of me thinks, hurt feelings or not, it was their kids birthday, and they had the right to do it how they wanted...I don't know.  It's not the end of the world, but it kinda stung a little. 

    Cycle 7: BFP 1-17-12, Missed Miscarriage at 8w6d (measured 7w2d, no HB), D&C 2-29-12
    Cycle 9: BFP 5-3-12:EDD 1-24-13 It's a girl! Born 12-27-12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • ShaylizShayliz member
    Do they know you are TTC? Maybe they thought you wouldn't feel comfortable going? Friends of ours had a party for their 1 year old and they gave the invitation to DH and said how they would understand if I did not feel up to going. I appreciated the concern they showed over my emotional well-being, actually.
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  • jenaw84jenaw84

    Along with the PP, if you did want to bring it up, maybe you could talk to them about if they had made plans for her birthday. If it hasn't been too far past since her b-day then you could make it seem like an interest to help with planning? Maybe, just a thought.. I know it probably did hurt your feelings, but I'd hate to think this could cause a little of tension between all of you.

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  • TammyDoubleBTammyDoubleB member
    Do they know you're TTC? If so, have you been trying long? They may have been worried it would be hard for you to be around all those kids.
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    My Age - 41, DH's Age - 42

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  • stayceestaycee member

    could the invite got lost in the mail?

    do you talk to them frequently enough that it would have come up that they sent out an invite?

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  • UnemUnem member

    imageShayliz:
    Do they know you are TTC? Maybe they thought you wouldn't feel comfortable going? Friends of ours had a party for their 1 year old and they gave the invitation to DH and said how they would understand if I did not feel up to going. I appreciated the concern they showed over my emotional well-being, actually.

    Agreed. My MIL and SIL know we're TTC and although I asked them not to walk on eggshells around me with babytalk, I can tell they word things differently and change the topic if they see it's starting to bother me. I appreciate it alot, too!

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  • kpowers982kpowers982 member
    Thanks for all the input.  I don't believe they know we are TTC.  I haven't shared that, and DH doesn't really share that with anyone.  We don't really talk on the phone with them a lot (unless we're specifically planning something), but we text/Facebook pretty regularly.  Eh, I'll probably give it a day or two and see if I'm still feeling hurt, and go from there. 
    Cycle 7: BFP 1-17-12, Missed Miscarriage at 8w6d (measured 7w2d, no HB), D&C 2-29-12
    Cycle 9: BFP 5-3-12:EDD 1-24-13 It's a girl! Born 12-27-12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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