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April 2012 Moms
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NBR: Constant Phone Calls

kissyfittkissyfitt member
in April 2012 Moms

DH's grandmother lives 12 hours away.  We see her and his grandfather once a year and usually speak on the phone a few times a year.

Lately she has been calling every week.  It's not because of the baby because she never talks about that--she literally calls to talk about the weather.  She knows DH works nights but always calls around 7:30-8 when she knows he is sleeping.  I used to answer it but got sick of her telling me to wake him up.  He has to work, he needs his sleep!

So now instead of leaving a message, she just calls and calls and calls.  Tonight I didn't answer because I was in the middle of doing work on my computer.  She called 6 times.

I told DH when he got up and he said "this is getting out of hand, she knows I work nights, she needs to stop calling repeatedly".  He is going to call her back in the morning, but any ideas on what he can say to address the issue without hurting her feelings?  I should also add that DH is not a phone guy so the fact that she is making these calls a weekly event is really wearing thin. 

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Re: NBR: Constant Phone Calls

  • ateal2490ateal2490 member

    I'm not a phone person either, and my grandmother got to the point where she would call eee-verrr--y-day. 

    It seriously had me considering living without a cell phone, lol.

    If I were him, I would again mention the sleep issue....and I would make sure to add that he's had to start going to bed earlier because he's been very dreary at work. Maybe that will get through to her as "grandson really needs his sleep"...I hope.

    Maybe also mention that pregnancy has been kicking your booty and that you've been napping with him around that time. He could even say that around the time he sets his phone on silent to  ensure that you both get some great, uninterrupted sleep.

    That's a really, really frustrating situation....grandma's don't seem to catch on to hints too well, do they? Hopefully a gentle but direct conversation will do the trick. Otherwise, he could ask to reschedule their weekly conversation on a weekend morning or something? Maybe at a time where he only has a few minutes to talk? 

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  • Monicagail1Monicagail1 member

    I would gently tell her that he'd love to talk to her but whatever time she's been calling is not the best time, and suggest the best days/times for her to call.  Let her know that if she needs to call at another time and he doesn't answer to please leave a message and he'll call her back as soon as possible or when he can.

    And don't answer the phone when she calls outside of the suggested times-let her leave a message (but I'm kind of rigid like that).

    Love: 8.10.99
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  • MsCat19MsCat19 member
    Please make sure her health gets checked - mental and physical.  A sudden change in habit can be an indicator of a change in health.  I don't mean to be scary or anything, but this is the first thing that came to mind because you stated grandmother... I've watched a family member that plays the roll of grandmother for me digress over the years, and changes of long standing habits were an early indicator that she was no longer healthy.  Best of luck!
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  • DragonflyBelleDragonflyBelle

    imageMsCat19:
    Please make sure her health gets checked - mental and physical.  A sudden change in habit can be an indicator of a change in health.  I don't mean to be scary or anything, but this is the first thing that came to mind because you stated grandmother... I've watched a family member that plays the roll of grandmother for me digress over the years, and changes of long standing habits were an early indicator that she was no longer healthy.  Best of luck!

     

    This...my paternal grandmother that died a year ago today always started calling 5000 times a day when she didn't feel good. I think she just wanted to know we were close-by. 

    DD#1 11.7.07 - DD#2 11.2.10 (3rd Tri Loss)- DD#3 4.18.12
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  • kissyfittkissyfitt member

    imageMsCat19:
    Please make sure her health gets checked - mental and physical.  A sudden change in habit can be an indicator of a change in health.  I don't mean to be scary or anything, but this is the first thing that came to mind because you stated grandmother... I've watched a family member that plays the roll of grandmother for me digress over the years, and changes of long standing habits were an early indicator that she was no longer healthy.  Best of luck!

    No, that's not it.  His grandfather lives with her and is literally with her every moment of the day.  Her mobility is a bit compromised as she has trouble walking and such, but his grandfather is an army vet--still very strong and active and very capable of taking care of her.

    However, we have discussed that maybe her memory is starting to go.  She doesn't call his sister like this though, that's why it's so weird.  I talked to his sister last night and she said she hears from her maybe once a month.

    I hate to say it's a hassle because we do love her, but DH needs his sleep and no matter how many times we tell her it is best to call him in the mornings, she just disregards it.  When I answer at night she always will say to me "He sleeping?"  She knows.  And she is home all day, there is no reason she can't call in the morning.

    He told me he is going to remind her again that morning calls are best and when he goes to sleep in the late afternoon we turn the ringer off so he can sleep better.  I love her to bits but it's just so frustrating.

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