Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: advice on post NICU visitors please
We did immediate family only until winter was over per our pediatrician's recommendations. He told us to blame it on him
So we told everyone that per his instructions, it was immediate family only. Sme family understood, some gave us a hard time. I actually lost a really close friend over it, but he truly didnt get it. I did what was in the best interest of my babies, and I have zero regrets for that. 
Good Luck
Personally i was and am very lax on the "rules" that most of the people on this board follow. The doctor never gave me any reason to be concerned and never told me to be watchful of things like that. So i had and have my baby out of the house regularly and everyone who has wanted to, and wasn't actively sick has been able to hold her. I personally have never had a flu shot in my life, and neither has my husband (I got the flu once when i was in high school, DH has never had the flu). And we both just happened to have the whooping cough vaccine as we've both been recently given the tetnus/WC within the last 5 years (stinking constuction project)
That being said. Whatever the rules are that you and your Dh have agreed upon make sure that you are consistant and stick to it. That is the way to not offend people. It's only offensive if you make rules for some people and not others.
My rules were you had to be well and you had to wash your hands well.
My MIL and sister are smokers. They could not come over if they had smoked- they needed to be freshly showered with fresh clothes.
People were very understanding. My little guy was born in December, and we kept him home until RSV season was over in May.
My son was born at 26 weeks, and my pediatrician said that we weren't allowed to really go anywhere with him until after flu season. He came home at 36.5 weeks on April 6, and we were quarantined until the end of May.
This year, we're getting mixed info. Our pediatrician isn't as strict about it, but the NICU really thinks we should be quarantined. We're trying to just be smart about it and keep him around from other people.
We let people come over if they were feeling well and if everyone in their house was well, and we only let adults come over. Everyone had to wash their hands as soon as they came in. We didn't know people who smoked, but that would have been an issue, too.
I agree with the others: You have to be consistent with your rules, and you have to put your baby first. Most people will understand. If they don't, you can't worry about it. You have to put your baby first.
Two things we did was look for guidance from the NEO and the PEDI....
Other then that the bottom line was what was in the best interest of the babies. Yes there were some people who got super ticked and everyone else understood.
We had very clear cut rules about visitors espeically the first few weeks home. We had two mirco preemies who get overstimulated every easily and they already need to learn and adapt to new surroundings and that was our main focus, learning a routine and helping them settle in.
I sent an email to all family and friends that I could think of and asked them to forward it along. It basically said, that while we loved them and appreciated their support and well-wishes, we would be keeping the NICU's visitation policy in effect in our home until the babies were at least past their due date. That meant no children under 12, if you had been sick in the last 7 days you were asked not to visit, and all visitors must wash hands and purell before touching/holding.
Everyone was very accommodating, and it helped keep us from being innundated with visitors. We also put in there that the needed to call ahead, if you showed up unnannounced we would likely have to turn you away if it wasn't a good time. That way we didn't have people ringing doorbells during naps, etc, and we could limit to once visitor at a time instead of having 4 people drop by at the same time.
This time of year with RSV and the flu I wouldn't take any chances. Even for family.
people have to wash their hands and not be sick. he has only been around other kids briefly and they were healthy.
at first it was just immediate family. slowly we have had some friends come over but we have kept it to a minimum. we HAD to have some work done on our house and after that i was a little more lax. in an emergency situation i wasnt about to question everyone. i just sanitized all surfaces when they left. there are LOTS of people who havent met him yet. at some point they will and everyone is understanding. i also usually nicely tell people to not to kiss his hands or face. (dh will speak up too) or let him suck on their hands or stick his hands in their mouths but MIL seems to think she is an exception and can let DS put his hands in HER mouth and lets him chew and suck on her finger(nail included...gross).
although i dont like it, if they feel like they HAVE to kiss him they can kiss his clothing or the back of his head.
many people were anxious to meet DS and hold him because they prayed for him for so long and were so supportive they feel connected to him.
DS came home in the summer, so we took him to outdoor events over the summer and in the fall. people got to see him there but no one held him.