advice on post NICU visitors please

3citygirl

What kind of restrictions did you have on visitors after LO came home from NICU?  How did you enforce it?  Did your family give you a hard time?

I'm worried about how to draw the line about who can come see DS when he's home from the hospital.  DH and I want to say only immediate family for the first month and everyone who visits in the first 6 months needs a flu shot and everyone in first year (that's what pedi said) needs whooping cough. 

 Already I have an aunt who is flying out to meet him who got her shots.  Now my cousin wants to fly out (with shots) to meet him too.  I think it's so sweet that I have relatives willing to fly across the country... but I'm worried that if I say yes to one, it opens the door for other relatives who live nearby to expect to get to visit, too. 

What do I do????

 

Lilystar82

We did immediate family only until winter was over per our pediatrician's recommendations. He told us to blame it on him So we told everyone that per his instructions, it was immediate family only. Sme family understood, some gave us a hard time. I actually lost a really close friend over it, but he truly didnt get it. I did what was in the best interest of my babies, and I have zero regrets for that.  

 

Good Luck  

Idomoodou2

Personally i was and am very lax on the "rules" that most of the people on this board follow.  The doctor never gave me any reason to be concerned and never told me to be watchful of things like that.  So i had and have my baby out of the house regularly and everyone who has wanted to, and wasn't actively sick has been able to hold her.  I personally have never had a flu shot in my life, and neither has my husband (I got the flu once when i was in high school, DH has never had the flu). And we both just happened to have the whooping cough vaccine as we've both been recently given the tetnus/WC within the last 5 years (stinking constuction project) 

That being said.  Whatever the rules are that you and your Dh have agreed upon make sure that you are consistant and stick to it.  That is the way to not offend people.  It's only offensive if you make rules for some people and not others.

Lavender444

My rules were you had to be well and you had to wash your hands well.

My MIL and sister are smokers. They could not come over if they had smoked- they needed to be freshly showered with fresh clothes.

People were very understanding. My little guy was born in December, and we kept him home until RSV season was over in May.

 

SushiNoMore

My son was born at 26 weeks, and my pediatrician said that we weren't allowed to really go anywhere with him until after flu season.  He came home at 36.5 weeks on April 6, and we were quarantined until the end of May.

This year, we're getting mixed info.  Our pediatrician isn't as strict about it, but the NICU really thinks we should be quarantined.  We're trying to just be smart about it and keep him around from other people.

We let people come over if they were feeling well and if everyone in their house was well, and we only let adults come over. Everyone had to wash their hands as soon as they came in.  We didn't know people who smoked, but that would have been an issue, too.

I agree with the others:  You have to be consistent with your rules, and you have to put your baby first.  Most people will understand.  If they don't, you can't worry about it.  You have to put your baby first. 

ijustcantthinkrightnow

Two things we did was look for guidance from the NEO and the PEDI....

Other then that the bottom line was what was in the best interest of the babies. Yes there were some people who got super ticked and everyone else understood.

We had very clear cut rules about visitors espeically the first few weeks home. We had two mirco preemies who get overstimulated every easily and they already need to learn and adapt to new surroundings and that was our main focus, learning a routine and helping them settle in.

GirlyGirl319

We only let immediate family members come over and hold him.  The NICU told us to limit his exposure to outsiders until he reaches his due date (which was just this past Friday).. I make sure everyone washes their hands and if they have any signs of a cold to please not come over.  We have been out a few times but basically staying in since it is winter.  Our pedi did not have any strict rules and did not really tell us to not bring others by him.  A few of my friends were annoyed that they couldn't see him when he got home but I don't think they understood the difference between a full term baby and a preemie.  Me and Dh did what was best for our little guy and in the long term it will be all worth it.

hewinked

My DD was born at 34w6d and never spent time in the NICU.  I still don't know how she was so healthy, but it is what it is, and I'm grateful.  However, I was still pretty paranoid about germs and such.  We had visitors, but everyone had to wash their hands or use sanitizer.  Honestly, I think it's just a good idea to do that when holding any baby.  I didn't take her out much for the first couple months.  On her first Christmas (she was born in November), I didn't allow anyone to hold her cuz I didn't want her passed around the room.  My dad and brother smoke, and they had to wash their hands and face and put on a new shirt if they wanted to hold her.  I kinda caught a hard time on that Christmas (people asking if I was hiding her), but I didn't care. 

hunt2005

I sent an email to all family and friends that I could think of and asked them to forward it along. It basically said, that while we loved them and appreciated their support and well-wishes, we would be keeping the NICU's visitation policy in effect in our home until the babies were at least past their due date. That meant no children under 12, if you had been sick in the last 7 days you were asked not to visit, and all visitors must wash hands and purell before touching/holding.

Everyone was very accommodating, and it helped keep us from being innundated with visitors. We also put in there that the needed to call ahead, if you showed up unnannounced we would likely have to turn you away if it wasn't a good time. That way we didn't have people ringing doorbells during naps, etc, and we could limit to once visitor at a time instead of having 4 people drop by at the same time.

This time of year with RSV and the flu I wouldn't take any chances. Even for family. 

mt1927

people have to wash their hands and not be sick. he has only been around other kids briefly and they were healthy. 

at first it was just immediate family. slowly we have had some friends come over but we have kept it to a minimum. we HAD to have some work done on our house and after that i was a little more lax. in an emergency situation i wasnt about to question everyone. i just sanitized all surfaces when they left. there are LOTS of people who havent met him yet. at some point they will and everyone is understanding. i also usually nicely tell people to not to kiss his hands or face. (dh will speak up too) or let him suck on their hands or stick his hands in their mouths but MIL seems to think she is an exception and can let DS put his hands in HER mouth and lets him chew and suck on her finger(nail included...gross).

although i dont like it, if they feel like they HAVE to kiss him they can kiss his clothing or the back of his head.  

many people were anxious to meet DS and hold him because they prayed for him for so long and were so supportive they feel connected to him. 

DS came home in the summer, so we took him to outdoor events over the summer and in the fall. people got to see him there but no one held him.

 

 

hunt2005

I think the nice thing about setting a strict ground rule is that then when you make it more lenient for someone they feel special When we went to church for their baptism the pastor made an announcement to please look but not touch as they were still so young, and everyone was very understanding.

adrielegorburu

We came home in July and shes been on "lock down" since - at first we were very strict, no kids under 12, no one who has been sick, been around anyone sick or is sick, no crowds no crowded places. We have a large pump of hospital scrub soap by the sink and ask that everyone scrubbed down upon entering.  We also "posted" hand sanitizer EVERYwhere in the house. At first just immediate family came to visit, after a few months we relaxed the rules a bit but stayed away from crowded places etc. (No target, no church stuff like that) but we did do family functions for thanksgiving and christmas which we werent planning on and she has been to places like the store or baby shower etc. where there have been other people. now that RSV season is winding down we will be taking her out more.  She starts daycare soon and once that starts we wont have any more restrictions but will continue to enforce hand washing and hand sanitizer.