TTC After a Loss

Some people are just jerks!

So... it seems as though the closer my EDD comes (Feb 21st) and the more cycles that pass with no BFP, I get more and more bitter.

Well, my DH suggested last night that I just be brutally honest to everyone aloud as to what I've been feeling. He thought it may help me if I just got it out in the open. So, I did. I wrote a blog about how I've been feeling and apologized to all of my friends and family that are experiencing healthy pregnancies or have recently had babies as I've been a mild jerk about it.

Well, as of last night, I felt great. I got a lot more support than I thought I would and it really comforted me... until about two minutes ago. I checked my blog and a mutual friend of DH and I simply comments saying... "Well, if you don't like that you're not preggo, then change it. It's just nature... not rocket science."

OMG! What an a$$!

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Re: Some people are just jerks!

  • Oh dear lord.  ((hugs)) I am so sorry.  What a douchecanoe.

    image

    After 7 years of no ovulation...
    BFP#1 10/24/11 ~ EDD 6/29/12 ~ Natural m/c 11/2/11
    BFP#2 2/3/12 ~ Alice born 9/26/12


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  • That person isnt only a jerk, they are also the biggest flucking moron...  congrats on getting your feelings out there though.  I hope that it truly helped!!!
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  • So sorry for your loss and that you're having a tough time with it.  Your H's friend is totally an ASS!  I also don't think you need to apologize for being a "mild jerk" toward pregnant people.  We're entitled to hurt and everyone deals with pain differently.

    ((big hugs)) 

    Married since 7/25/2009
    BFP #1 9/25/2011 | EDD 6/1/2012 | M/C 10/26/2011 at 8w6d
    BFP #2 3/13/2012 | EDD 11/23/2012
    9DPO hcg: 45; Prog: 41 | 14DPO hcg: 694 | 17DPO hcg: 2733 | 28DPO hcg: 53,006
    First u/s 4/13 showed a beating heart! Second u/s 5/2 showed a HB of 163! Let's GROW, baby!
    He's here! Kellen born 11/16/12 - 8 lbs 8 oz 22 inches long via scheduled c-section (breech baby, gestational diabetes mama)
  • Wow!  I am so sorry.  What a total douchebag remark.
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  • Gross.  That is one of the most insensitive, asinine comments I have ever seen regarding loss/trouble TTC.  The fact that she used the term "preggo" just makes it that much worse.  I would have a hard time remaining friends with a person who is A) that stupid and B) clearly clueless as to how to be supportive. 

     

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  • imageAngnShaun:
    That person isnt only a jerk, they are also the biggest flucking moron...  congrats on getting your feelings out there though.  I hope that it truly helped!!!
    All of this ^^
    3 ectopic pregnancies (EDD's 1/30/12-tube removed, 6/2/12-methotrexate and 10/2/12-methotrexate)
    IVF and Natural FET resulted in BFN's and a hole in our wallets
    Natural BFP #4 on 9/7/12 gave us our miracle on 5/18/13
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  • imagebostonbluejay:

    Gross.  That is one of the most insensitive, asinine comments I have ever seen regarding loss/trouble TTC.  The fact that she used the term "preggo" just makes it that much worse.  I would have a hard time remaining friends with a person who is A) that stupid and B) clearly clueless as to how to be supportive. 

    All of this. Ugh, so sorry OP.

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    BFP#1: 9-13-11 EDD: 5-26-12 MMC: 11-4-11 D&C: 11-8-11
    BFP#2: 7-6-12 Elizabeth Faye ("Zuzu") born 3-21-13
  • Unfriend.

    Twat.  I'm so sorry you got that remark. 

    DS born 2009
    BFP#2 ~ 8/2/11, EDD 4/11/12, D&C 9/12/11 at 9w5d
    BFP#3 ~ 4/15/12, EDD 12/21/12 ~ DD born 12/22/12
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  • Um, wow. Just wow. I'm so proud of you for putting it out there and so sorry that you got that response. I would probably respond that her ignorance is surpassed only by her lack of sensitivity. (((Hugs)))
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  • imagedelino:
    imageAngnShaun:
    That person isnt only a jerk, they are also the biggest flucking moron...  congrats on getting your feelings out there though.  I hope that it truly helped!!!
    All of this ^^

    Yep.  I am sorry, but remember you wrote the blog for you, not for them.  Stupid people will, sadly, always be with us and are best ignored. 

    image


  • imagebostonbluejay:

    Gross.  That is one of the most insensitive, asinine comments I have ever seen regarding loss/trouble TTC.  The fact that she used the term "preggo" just makes it that much worse.  I would have a hard time remaining friends with a person who is A) that stupid and B) clearly clueless as to how to be supportive. 

     

     

    This.  I'll never understand some people.  At least you have other people in your life who are supportive.  I would walk away from this "friendship" and would never look back.  Hugs to you!

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  • Wow!  Just wow!  He'd be on my list of friends to cut out, for sure.  What an insensitive thing to say and an idiotic/ignorant way of thinking.
    BFP #1 9-15-11; EDD 5-28-12. US 6w2d, growth

    BFP #2 12-6-11 and 12-7-11; EDD 8-17-12. US 6w6d measuring 5w6d. Misoprostol Assisted m/c 1-16-12 at 9w3d.

    image

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  • wow what and a$$shat
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  • Wow.  I'd respond with something like, "I don't like that you're an ignorant ass, can't nature change that?"

     

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  • imagemelly918:

    Unfriend.

    Twat.  I'm so sorry you got that remark. 

    This

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  • Wow, I don't even know what to say.  I agree - what an a$$, people can be so ignorant.  I think it's great that you got your feelings out there, and it sounds like you got a lot of support.  I hope other friends or family members of yours flame this person's post!
    image
    BFP#1 - 09/12/11, EDD 5/18/12 - Stopped growing at 6w3d, m/c induced 10/14/11
    BFP#2 - 04/01/12, EDD 12/12/12, Arrived 12/4/12!!
    BFP#3 - 12/31/13, EDD 09/10/14 - Grow baby, grow!

  • imageRizzaTs:

    Wow.  I'd respond with something like, "I don't like that you're an ignorant ass, can't nature change that?"

     

     Yes

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  • imagedelino:
    imageAngnShaun:
    That person isnt only a jerk, they are also the biggest flucking moron...  congrats on getting your feelings out there though.  I hope that it truly helped!!!
    All of this ^^

     

    Couldn't have said it better myself 

    Married My Love on 6/18/2006
    BFP#1 10/1/2011. Our perfect little girl, Her heart stopped @ 12w1d. D&E 11/23/11
    BFP#2 3/13/12 Weird CP/Possible EP @ 6w0d
    BFP#3 5/28/12 CP @ 5w0d
    BFP/WTF#4 10/26/12 CP
    BFP#5 12/10/12 EDD 8/23/2013
    <3 Baby Boy Born 8/22/13 <3
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  • Thanks ladies... needless to say, my husband made a very heated phone conversation with him and we will not be speaking to this person again.
  • All I can say is wow. I am so sorry they said that. However, I hope that all of your other friends and family see it and realize what a complete a$$hole that person made themselves out to be. On the other hand, I am glad you were able to get all of your feelings out in the open. Somehow doing that helps. I hope the rest of your day is better ((hugs)).
    imageimage

    Married my best friend in May 2009
    Started TTC our first since May 2010
    1st BFP: 8/18/2011.....EDD 4/25/2012
    2nd BFP: 8/19/2012....EDD 4/26/2013

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  • How does someone like that get so far in life being so totally uninformed? Are you going to respond? ((hugs))

     I'm glad you found support in a lot of other people and that you got it all out. 

    TTC #1 since January 2011
    BFP#1 April 12, 2011, EDD December 24, 2011, strong heart beat at 7w3d, d&c at 10w6d
    BFP#2 Oct 24, 2011, natural miscarriage, EDD unknown
    After RPL testing my losses and subsequent infertility are considered unexplained.
    Cycle #22: Femara, TI, and progesterone = BFP!! 
    BFP#3 Dec 21, 2012. Beta #1 @14dpo = 134, progesterone 67.8. Beta #2 @ 17dpo = 664! Team green, EDD 9/1/13, healthy baby boy born 9/12/13!
    imageimage  My chart.


    Congratulations to the fabulous KGS2003! Her sweet boys are here! Grow boys grow!!!
  • That's terrible. Some people are just fools. I'm glad to see your husband stuck up for you and that it was the only negative response you received.
  • I am glad your DH said something. Not only is this person a complete moron when it comes to how babies are made, but that's about the most insensitive thing I've ever read. How socially stunted do you have to be to actually say that? ((hugs)) to you.
    BFP #1 10/6/11 | EDD 6/15/12 | MMC 11/7/11 @ 8w3d | D&C 11/14/11

    BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13

    BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15

    BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d

    Just keep swimming.
  • Wow. They obviously have no clue about the REALITY of getting pregnant. They are probably one of the ones that got pregnant on "accident" and had a perfect pregnancy. UGH!

    Married my best friend May 24, 2008
    BFP #1 9/1/11, EDD 5/15/12, Missed M/C at 9w4d, discovered at 11w3d, D&C 11/2/11
    BFP #2 6/20/12, Baby Boy born 3/2/13
    BFP #3 October 2016, EDD 6/11/17
  • Super Angry That's my face...what a jerk! I hate stupid people. I'm sorry you had to hear that...

    ((HUGS))

    1st BFP 10/11/11. MMC 9wks 3days.Measuring 6wks 1day D&C 11/15/11 Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers "http://lilypie.com/">Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • imagePetraStonegirl:

    A response to the twat who hurt you...

     

     

    It never ceases to amaze me how when our society deems a subject taboo, rampant ignorance of it becomes acceptable. 

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    I just wanted to drop you a line and let you know that, as fun as it is, sex isn't a cure all for miscarriage for infertility. Take a half a second and check out the numbers...

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    I assure you, all of those 'lucky couples in white' have been having sex, and so have we. Since you feel the need to chime in and increase the pain that I feel after the death of my child, I feel the need to ask you to read the following...

    https://breakingeggs.tumblr.com/post/4927... 

    Cheers! 

    Yes  Brava, as usual, Petra. OP, I'm really glad to hear you're not speaking to this douchebag again.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    BFP#1: 9-13-11 EDD: 5-26-12 MMC: 11-4-11 D&C: 11-8-11
    BFP#2: 7-6-12 Elizabeth Faye ("Zuzu") born 3-21-13
  • imagePetraStonegirl:

    A response to the twat who hurt you...

     

     

    It never ceases to amaze me how when our society deems a subject taboo, rampant ignorance of it becomes acceptable. 

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

     

    I just wanted to drop you a line and let you know that, as fun as it is, sex isn't a cure all for miscarriage for infertility. Take a half a second and check out the numbers...

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    I assure you, all of those 'lucky couples in white' have been having sex, and so have we. Since you feel the need to chime in and increase the pain that I feel after the death of my child, I feel the need to ask you to read the following...

    https://breakingeggs.tumblr.com/post/4927... 

    Cheers! 

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  • imagemelly918:

    Unfriend.

    Twat.  I'm so sorry you got that remark. 

    This. Unfriend that dumb b*tch.
  • All I have to say is wow! Some people are so insensitive and clueless! Keep your head up!
    DS 2/15/08 Bfp #2 9/11/11 EDD 5/20/12 missed m/c confirmed 8w4d, no hb and baby measured 6w5d, natural m/c 10/27/11. I'll always love and miss my little May flower.
  • imageRizzaTs:

    Wow.  I'd respond with something like, "I don't like that you're an ignorant ass, can't nature change that?"

     

    Yes  This and I'm so sorry!

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  • I think you should tell that "friend" exactly how hurtful that comment was...not to mention how ignorant it was.

    I'm sorry you got that feedback. 

    ETA: just finished reading all of the comments, and I am glad to hear that your hubby stuck up for you guys....you don't need friends like that a$$hat. 

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  • You're a brave woman, and I'm glad you were honest with your friends and family. Please don't let one tool's comments get to you. YH is awesome for confronting his ex-friend! {hugs} 
    It was a rough road, but Arlo Daniel was born April 1, 2013—and our second rainbow is due October 12, 2014.
  • C'mon! DUH! You know just say, "Hey bod! Get pregnant!!" 

     

    That's terrible. I am sorry. Don't let one person discount all the other support you got though. Sending that person a big slap and you a big hug. 

    MC 4/09 at 6w2d 
    Rainbow Jude 
    born: 12/31/09
    Pre-E Induction at 36w4d
    11 Day NICU stay due to GBS infection

    TTC#2 10/2010
    M/C: 4/09/11 5w
    CP: 12/26/2011 
    CP: 1/28/2012 
    MMC: 4/16/2012 at 11w2d 
    Ectopic: 6/25/2012 MTX 07/03/12
    CP 11/24/2012 
    Rainbow Violet 
    born: 9/11/13

    All ALers welcome! 
  • imageAngnShaun:
    That person isnt only a jerk, they are also the biggest flucking moron...  congrats on getting your feelings out there though.  I hope that it truly helped!!!

    I'm with Ang.  What a moronick a$$hole.  But, yay you for blogging! 

    ETA: And yay for your DH! Way to take a stand. 

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    Mama to 5 angel babies, 1 rainbow baby, and 2 more angel babies. 
    My beautiful Ella/ToT arrived 10/10/12. 
  • I can't believe that somebody would think that let alone say it. That was a total douche move.
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    TTC#1 starting Feb 2011, BFP #1:5/31/11, CP: 6/6/11; BFP #2: 7/9/11, loss confirmed 8/3 with D&C on 8/12 finding complete molar pregnancy. Forced break until Feb 2012. My blog image
  • imagetashpede:
    Thanks ladies... needless to say, my husband made a very heated phone conversation with him and we will not be speaking to this person again.

     

    Good for your DH! What a huge douche! 

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  • Oh wow....that's all I can say.
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  • What an uninformed d!ck!
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  • Some people are just miserable and make themselves feel better by saying horrible things to others.  I'm so sorry you had to read that comment on your blog.

    Gabriel Joseph 6/13/2010
    BFP#2: 8/14/11 M/C 8/30/11 6w1d
    BFP #3: 10/26/11
    Beta #1 @11dpo: 22 Beta #2 @13dpo: 90 Beta #3 @17dpo: 480
    Missed m/c 12w3d 12/28/11, d&c 12/30/11
    dx Homozygous C677T MTHFR image image
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