Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Reason for premature birth?
I wasn't given an answer. All I knew was that it wasn't an infection. Now that I'm pregnant again with a new doctor (4 years later), she thinks it was just spontaneous preterm labor, for which there is no known cause.
At the time, I was told it's hard to figure out sometimes with the first and might be easier to figure out if it happens again, likely because they're watching more carefully.
and after 82 days in the NICU, our little girl is home!
This exactly.
Make a pregnancy ticker
It would be scary to not know. My reason was pretty clear too. I had a placenta abruption.
Without knowing the reason, they will watch you much closer if you were to get pg again. I know that's little comfort, but it's at least something.
We'll miss you sweet Debbie Girl (4.21.12) and sweet Cindy Girl (8.9.12)
My MARRIED Bio
BFP#2 3/16/11, beta 138; 4/12 Baby/HB DS born 9/10/11 at 29w4d due to partial abruption and PTL
BFP#3 8/19/13 Another boy! 17P, modified bedrest and Nifedipine helped us have a termie! DS2 born 4/19/14 at 38w5d.
I had no reason either. I had a brief BP spike 2 days before I was admitted for PTL. Looking back, I wish I had demanded an internal....maybe if I knew I was dilating and went on bedrest I could have bought more time. Because of IVF, I had monthly monitoring with an MFM, including cervical length checks through 27 weeks....everything always looked great (aside from my large subchorionic hematoma, but that resolved by 24 weeks).
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
I am just like you! My water broke at 34 weeks for "no identifiable reason."
Butttt, my husband and I have our suspicions.
Just before I went into preterm labor, we had vigorous sex. This precipitated bleeding, which worried me because it wasn't the usual light spotting. We went to the hospital to check out the bleeding (the docs weren't too worried because they kept telling us on the phone that sex can cause bleeding) and found out I was pretty far dilated having contractions. Soon after my water broke.
"I have four children. Two are adopted. I forget which two. -Bob Constantine
"All for Love,' a Saviour prayed 'Abba Father have Your way. Though they know not what they do...Let the Cross draw men to You...."
My son was born on a Tuesday. The previous Friday, I called my OB to ask what the symptoms would be if my water were leaking. She said that I didn't need to worry - I'd have fluid running down my leg. I wish I would have gone in to have it checked, but hindsight it 20/20.
The OB who delivered me suspected that I may have IC, but my cervix was measuring great at the anatomy scan. The NICU thought it may have had something to do with my low-lying placenta (I had a low-lying placenta at the anatomy scan, and I was due for another check of it the Thursday after my son was born).
Basically, we have no idea why he came so early.
I don't know if I would even try again!
I was told "these things happen" but was never given any specifics. It terrifies me that this could possibly happen again.
I do wonder if the stress of my job was a factor. I teach kindergarten and was not given an aide this year.
Haven't read whole thread, but wanted to chime in...
At 26 weeks, I had 2 to 5 minute contractions for 3 days before I finally went into labor and delivery (I thought I was just having bad RLP cramps) and they prepped me for labor, though thankfully I wasn't dilated. Magnesium over night made them go away and I had a few lingering contractions that week.. got put on bed rest and then modified bed rest every since.
Dilated to 1/2 cm at 34 weeks.
Still pregnant, thankfully!
Anyways, they have no clue as to why this happened. Something about an irritable uterus. It would be nice to know what caused the contractions, so I could avoid them in the future when we decide to have baby #2 - I'm not a super active person, so it's amazing to me that a bit of cleaning or whatever could have triggered them! I don't do drugs or drink or anything risky like that, though I never gave up caffeine (some days probably drank over min. limit, even).
It's weird that the problem hasn't returned yet, even as baby has gotten bigger, because I've sort of been doing normal activity (it's naturally not comfortable to be on feet or sit in certain positions at this point in time, so I'm naturally doing the modified bed rest thing!).
Around 33 weeks I started to experience symptoms of preterm labor. I thought I was having braxton hicks and just brushed it aside as just being pregnant.
I had a very easy pregnancy and ran up until 31 weeks.
I went to my first lamaze class and they discussed PTL and I was thinking, wow that sounds just like me. I asked a few questions in class and then brushed it aside.
A few days later I was feeling really crummy and my mom convinced me to call the Dr. I made an appointment for the following day and when I went in I was 3 cm dilated and 90% effaced. The emotions that came over me are ones that probably only you ladies can related to.
I was told to go to the hospital and they would call and let them know I was coming. My husband wasn't with me so I called him and had him meet me at the hospital.
I won't go into a ton of details, but I was give the two doses of steroid shots, kept for 48 hours and then released on bed rest. I went back to the hospital within 12 hours with pain, given more medicine sent home and followed up with my doc on Tuesday for my 34 week appointment.
I went to my 34 week appointment and had dilated to 5 and sent back to the hospital. The following day I had progressed to 9.5 and was told it was time to have this baby. They broke my water and baby was born about 7.5 hours later.
So really my body was just ready, I was told in the future we'll need to do shots of progesterone on a weekly basis to prevent PTL.