"Quiet time" is far from quiet! Help!

Re: "Quiet time" is far from quiet! Help!

• Mrs Manners member

  January 2012

  Can you flip his doorknob around and lock it from the outside? That would accomplish the same thing you did with the door knob cover.

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• cmanmom

  January 2012

  Maybe cut the quiet time down.  My first thought when I was reading your post is that it is a long time.  He's probably bored and lonely.  Maybe 45 minutes?  My DS has "down time" and it's for 20-30 minutes depending on what I'm trying to accomplish   Another thought is if you REALLY need the time, can you break it up into two chunks?  Do one in the morning and more in the afternoon?  Just a thought...

  DS has to stay in his room and he has a timer that he can see counting down and he knows he only comes out once the timer goes off.  It works great. 

  Maybe if your LO doesn't stay in, say the timer gets turned off every time he comes out (NOT reset, just that the time he is out doesn't count as quiet time) and explain it to him that the time is the time and every time he comes out, the timer gets stopped and once he goes back in it starts back up.  He'll catch on!

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• KatFCo member

  January 2012

  Does he have a clock in his room? We got our daughter a digital clock and told her what numbers she can come out in. We also insist that when she does things to disrupt/delay her quiet time, that means we add time. It took a little time and a few punishments, but she learned quickly. We let her come out to go to the bathroom and now she goes right back in her room when she's done. Whatever she needs help with in her room, we refuse to do so until after "nap" time. We just tell her to play with something else.

  Of course, it could be what a PP said, that he's bored. Does he have much experience playing by himself? Or has he grown out of his toys and needs more age-appropriate ones?

  

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• Court0026 member

  January 2012

  Thanks for posting this.  I gave up on quiet time at least 6 months ago because DS was making too much noise for DD to nap and it was just stressing me out.  I would love to start it up again..  Some good ideas posters!  Thanks.
  

  O 10.08 & MJ 6.10
  

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• Sawyerplus1 member

  January 2012

  cmanmom:

  Maybe cut the quiet time down.  My first thought when I was reading your post is that it is a long time.  He's probably bored and lonely.  Maybe 45 minutes?  My DS has "down time" and it's for 20-30 minutes depending on what I'm trying to accomplish  

  This is probably the best solution for our situation, and maybe a timer or clock would work well too. 

  Thanks for all the ideas!  

  

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• Brewtowngrl member

  January 2012

  DS and I sit on the couch together and watch a show for his quiet time.  He stopped having it in his room just after he turned 3.  

  
  
  

  
  

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• Jen&Len

  January 2012

  We keep a small wardrobe in his room with stuff that he can play with only during quiet times.  It's locked at all times, except for quiet time.  We have puzzles, magnadoodle, books, Memory, Zoominoes, flash cards with pics of stuff he likes (Thomas, Cars,), etc.  He's also allowed to bring any quiet toy he wants up to his room, so some of his trains and cars, etc.  DS gets excited to have quiet time and he can't wait for me to unlock his "closet."
  

  

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• ashleyhuney member

  January 2012

  We had that problem but now he is staying in his room quietly and sometimes even falling asleep again! I don't know which trick worked but here's what we do. First he gets some one on one time, so after I get DD down for her nap we read two books. Then we talk about why he needs rest time, what we do during rest time and how long it is. He sets a color timer to count down the hour and can get one quiet toy to play with (just books in his bedroom). We have an allowance system set up where he earns coins for things that I want to limit, tv time, treat, etc. A rest time where he stays in his room and is quiet is one way he earns the coins. He seems to love the control of earning, keeping and deciding when to spend the coins. I love that I can easily control those things (he has all but stopped asking without a coin) and that he is begining to learn budgeting. I am so sure he'll stay in his room I'll somtimes lie down and catch a few winks if the baby is still sleeping.

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• shouldbworkin

  January 2012

  don't you just love the testing?!  With my kids, I let them pick 1 toy to take into bed with them.  If they got too loud or got out of bed, the toy went bye bye. Worked like a charm for DS.  Only had to take his toy away once.
  

  DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12

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• Pesky member

  January 2012

  *  there are clocks that turn colors when it is time to get up.  We have this one from Amazon to keep DD in her room until 7 am.  I would probably start out with shorter time frames and then gradually lengthen them out until you are at the desired time.

  *  keep calm.  Kids, like dogs, smell fear.

  *  start taking toys.  "Oh, I see you want to keep getting out/shutting the door/being loud/etc. when you aren't supposed to.  I suppose these toys in your room are too great a distraction and that makes you want to leave/shut the door/jump around/etc.  So I am taking this one and will keep it during quiet time.  Next time I have to come back in for anything other than a need to go potty or a real emergency, I will take another until they are all gone."  You can make a big deal next nap out of taking away some of them saying "okay, I remember these were too distracting last time but I'm not going to take all this time -- we'll see if you are able to play quietly and then maybe you'll get these back for your next nap time."  So you are therefore incentivizing him and turning it almost into a competition. 

  *  ETA one more -- try to do some outside time or super rambunctious time right before quiet time:  tell him now is when he has to get all his jumps and bounces and running CRAZY out before quiet time.  Let him go beserk.  Give him 15-30 minutes of running and being wild and THEN get him going on his ritual for quiet time (like lunch and then quiet time).  If he has a designated outlet, he may be inclined to use that.  You might even consider sandwiching his quiet time with the rambunctious time so he knows he has that outlet both coming and going and you can tell him to save it for the designated time.

  
  
  DD -- 5YO
  DS -- 3YO
  

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• livinitup

  January 2012

  It seems like everything you mentioned for why he is leaving his room is "allowed". Which is okay except that he is smart enough to use all of them all of the time. (Really loved the shirt thing - very inventive).

  I think you have to decide if quiet play for one hour is worth enforcing. If it is, then enforce it with whatever strategy works well with your tot. My DD has lots of toys on her bed and likes the door open during her naps (sometimes its just quiet play). I only had to close the door once and tough- out a very mad scream-fest to enforce 'no leaving the room'. Once. And I wasn't mad about it either, I just shook my head and said what a shame it was that DD needed the door shut since she didn't stay on her bed.

  I don't agree that one hour in a room of lovely toys is anything you should stop doing. Self-soothing and self-entertainment is a very good skill to foster and develop.

  My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.

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