Those with other kids

erbarmywife · January 2012

Have you found yourself more protective of your living kids since losing your LO's? I know I have...from what my pediatrician said, it's actually common.

If you have, have you ever been accused of being mentally ill because of it? I was told once, that I had Munchausen By Proxy, because my kids have ear problems. This person also told me (and others) that I killed my babies. It was my fault that they were dead, and when I killed the other 2, people would stop sympathizing with me, and realize she was right. Now, I get not wanting to believe my story, I mean, before you lost your LO's, how many people did you know, personally, that had lost a baby? I can honestly say, that besides my mom and sister having early miscarriages, I only knew one person who carried a baby to term and then lost her. Or really, just past the first tri. But really, how could you tell someone that they killed their babies?? Especially if there was no indication that the babies died from unnatural causes.

So, what is something other people have told you about losing your LO's, when you already have kids?

weddedwife · January 2012

I have a 2yo and I am definitely feeling more protective of her. She has been my reason to go on living since Nathaniel died. I don't know what I might have done without her.

No one has said anything to me that seems any different than what is said to those who don't have any other children. I can't recall your story exactly but what could possibly make this person think you killed your babies? Did they say why they think that? Honestly, if someone said that to me I'd probably punch them and tell them where they could go. I would definitely never speak to them again. This person sounds like a lunatic ***.

Cranang · January 2012

Agree with Claire on this one. Are you kidding me??? That story makes me want to hunt that person down.

I am way more overprotective, but I think it's natural. I know what the pain of losing a child feels like, and I'm making damn sure that I don't feel it again if at all possible.

pottermommy · January 2012

Yup totally and unequivicably (sp) overprotective now.

My SD (7) was nearly 4 when Kam passed..Now, she doesn't stay at peoples houses, I do not do baby sitters, she takes showers unless I am sitting on the side of the tub talking to her.

I am her cheer coach b/c I will not let her go with out me to cheer events or potty or anything like that. She holds my hand when in a store, mall, parking lot, dr. Office etc. She is not allowed near the stove or in the kitchen alone, short of getting a snack pack or a drink from the fridge.

And I do not even know what I am going to be like with Gabriel. It almost scares me. But I know now that even the most normal things are dangerous and a little kid doesn't know better and can accidentally get hurt and die and it is my job to protect them.

It is my job to be the one to keep them safe from all dangers, now realistically I knwo I can't stop everything, I know that things happen and it isn't my fault or anyone elses. But if it is in my power to stop it, to protect them, then you bet your butt I will.

I don't care how crazy I look.

magdalina.h · January 2012

I'm protective of Lucas, but shockingly have heard how much of a relaxed mom I am...::scratches head:: Apparently I'm putting up an awesome front.

Want a personalized experience?

Those with other kids

Re: Those with other kids

Choose Another Board

Search Boards