Would you be ok with DH...

cara117 · January 2012

going fishing about 50 miles from home 2 days past your EDD? DH has got this plan to go ice fishing on Saturday, which, I sort of don't have a problem with, but should I? That is, if the baby isn't here by then... I figure if I go into labor I will most likely have time, as a FTM, to wait for him to get home to go to the hospital. But if I do have one of those rapid labors... then I'd be kicking myself for letting him go. I know there's no way to tell but just wanted to get a little feedback. Thoughts?

eec129 · January 2012

Will he be easily accessible by phone? If so, I would think it's OK...50 miles is less than an hour away most likely. And if you feel like something is up before then, he could just stay home.

Thinkerbelle80 · January 2012

I don't know. How long would it take him to get back? Is there going to be a lot of traffic during the day that would detain him from getting back? Also, does he get cell phone reception where he is going so if you call, he can hear it? If he can get back in an hour and he gets good cell phone reception then I'd say it's fine. But, if he'll be trying to drive some expressway during rush hour traffic or there is no cell phone reception out there then I'd say skip it.

Ashley&Scott · January 2012

I wouldn't be comfortable being home alone overnight after my due date. (I wouldn't have been comfortable with it after 36 weeks.)

Is this just a day trip? If so that would probably be okay as long as he is accessible by phone.

kaay16 · January 2012

I'd be okay with it. If you started to feel funny you could always call. My husband was going to go to a baseball game the day of my due date with my first and he was so terrified to leave. He backed out last minute after I kept telling him all day long to just go. I went into labor that night, he still says "see it is a good thing I didn't go" I just smile but he would have been back in plenty of time haha!

kmchavez82 · January 2012

I'm a FTM so I'm probably more paranoid than others so I don't think I'd be too keen on him being gone so close to EDD. My dh would lose track or what if something happened to his phone and I couldn't reach him.

fyrefairie · January 2012

My DH works 24 hours shifts at a firestation nearly that far away so I have always planned on him being there when i begin labor (hopefully he won't be but plan for the worst rigth)...that said, if he wanted to wander off for something other work that close i'd be a little perturbed

trackchik6 · January 2012

How long is the drive?

SassyPants150 · January 2012

MH works in sales so most of the day he could be anywhere from 5 miles away to 70. Now, what I wouldn't be pleased with him going on an overnight trip. That to me just asks for trouble. If you are still worried, have a back up friend who you know will be available just in case you need them.

cara117 · January 2012

Thanks for the quick replies! He would be going probably early in the morning until early afternoon, but I could see it turning into an evening return if the fish are biting. There won't be much traffic and he will have his phone with him with reception, so the drive is probably 45 minutes or so at most, with probably 30 minutes to get off the ice if he rushed? I'm going to agree with most of you that it's probably fine as long as he has reception and won't be gone overnight. He will be with friends who also have cell phones so I can probably reach him somehow if something were to happen. Thanks!

kerryholmes · January 2012

As long as he has his phone on him, I wouldn't have a problem with it.

bigbear · January 2012

So he's not staying overnight or anything is he? In that case it probably isn't that big of a deal. I mean our work is over 30miles away so.... I don't think it's a big deal if he has his phone on him and has reception. But if you don't feel comfortable being alone you should tell him.

SoonToBeMsP · January 2012

I think I'd be ok with it if he had cell phone reception and could get back in less than an hour. 50 miles away in our area could be 45 minutes to 3 hours, depending on the day and route... That, not ok. But it sounds like it wouldn't be the same for you!

Kristine Schilling · January 2012

my biggest worry with that would be cell phone... If he has reception, if he remembers to put it where he will hear it... (not forget it in the car) otherwise sure, WTH its not that far away.

I have this thing about cell phones. Both my mother and DH tend to forget them in the car, turn the volume down to low and dont hear it ring, or just plain dont answer immidiately. It makes me paranoid about letting my DH be away from me during this last week of the waiting game. Niether here nor there for you though....

Rapid labor, I heard it runs in families. Like if you have a sister who had precipous labor, you might as well. He isnt going to be far away, let him go. He just has to swear he will drop everything if you call.

nothingbuthappy · January 2012

If I wasn't 100% POSITIVE that he would have cell service where he was going to be, then I'd have to go with "um, this isn't the time for ice fishing 50 miles from home..." unless you're OK with him possibly missing out on the event or even just the bulk of the event. Personally, I want my husband with me beginning to end (which isn't a big deal since I have a section scheduled! Lol).

FarmvilleLover · January 2012

No, I wouldn't be, not that late in the game. I'm 39 weeks now and I wouldn't be ok with it now. My thresshold is a 20 minute drive away, and accessible by phone at all times.

I'm the most relaxed wife about everything else, but I don't want to take any chances at all that he won't be with me when things go down.

textbookcase · January 2012

No big deal to me, unless he has no cell service. H works about 50 miles away, and the hospital is 30 miles in the opposite direction. If I have to go in, it'll take him about an hour and a half to get there but I'm not too worried that he won't make it in time.

mjsmith12 · January 2012

Do you have someone who would be able to take you to the hospital if you had really strong contractions? I wouldn't be comfortable driving to mine and it's 10 minutes away because they usually make you wait until they are 5 mins apart and getting stronger ... That's the only reason i would be worried about sending him but if you had someone you could call to drive you i don't think it's a huge deal but i'm a FTM and would want him by my side 100% of the time.

jason&robin · January 2012

I wouldn't have an issue if I knew there would be reception. My parents are coming up to watch our kids and they live about 60-70 miles away. This is my 3rd pg and my last delivery was 7 hours. I think 50 miles for your first baby should be just fine...as long as you can reach him.

eorashan · January 2012

I would make sure to have someone else lined up to drive you to the hospital. You really should not drive yourself.

If your labor ends up being the normal FTM labor, you are going to have a few hours to labor at home before going to hospital. Most hospitals won't admit you until you at 4cm dilated and having 1 minute long contractions every 5 minutes. Even if your water breaks, you can hang out at home for a few hours and wait for contractions to get going (unless the water isn't clear).

AFM: I wouldn't be happy with my hubby if he chose to go. He has a responsibility to both me and the baby to be there when I need him. No he probably won't miss the baby's birth, but he might not be there to support you during the first stages of labor. I would totally not be ok with that.

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