I feel like I am not doing enough....

Re: I feel like I am not doing enough....

• goldenleaves member

  January 2012

  I wouldn't beat yourself up over it! We do WAY more on a daily basis when the weather is nice. Spring, summer and fall for us are spent almost totally outside at the park, going for walks, in the backyard, etc. I worry that he gets bored in the winter, especially now that its really tough for me to lift him. He still likes to be carried a lot so longer outings have to be timed to make sure I have help. Pregnancy plus a toddler is rough!

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• MaybeBabyTime

  January 2012

  amy052006:

  Winter can kill you as far as boredom is concerned.  Ugh -- the hassle of going out, the coat, the carseat -- yuck!

  Did you guys like music class?  Unless you LO feels crappy with the cough, I would go back.  Our music class is like a walking snot factory -- everyone "gets" it.  We have only stayed home when DS didn't feel good once or twice.  Otherwise, we go germs and all along with everyone else. 

   

  He did like it. He had the cough last year when we were enrolled. The class has a strict sick policy. A clear runny nose is okay but thats it. A cough, rash and of course fever are no-nos. His cough was so bad he sometimes vomited from coughing so hard. So, I had to keep him home for this reason and the cough just liiinnnnngggered for weeks. It's too late for me to sign up for this semester. I will surely do it in the spring.  

  

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• April37

  January 2012

  I met most of my other stay at home mom friends in one of two ways: Meeting at the library or a class like you mentioned and just going up to someone and asking them if they want to get together for a playdate sometime OR from joining a play group through meetup.com

  With one of the mom's I met through the library, we had a playdate EVERY Friday.  We just switched whose house we went to and we even served each other lunch so it was kind of an all day thing. Trust me when I say that you are NOT depriving your son but for your sanity's sake, try just going up to people and ask if they want to get together.  I've also met people at parks and those indoor play places.  I know it's weird going up to a stranger and basically asking for their number but I'm sure some of those people are just ask eager as you to find someone to hang out with.

  

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• J&A2008 member

  January 2012

  We still go to the library even when there's no story time. 

  Right now he's painting.  Just try to think of some activities that he might be doing if he were in preschool/child care and provide those.

  We got LO a kitchen set and shopping cart.  He has a log cabin playhouse(dollhouse) that gets used with action figures at my moms.  We have dress up stuff.  The dollhouse/kitchen set/dress up are staples of preschools. 

  And, don't worry.  Kids love even the simplest of activities.  I remember last year LO was most happy when I gave him a collection of cups, bowls and pans with some dry rice or macaroni.

  Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.

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• LynsiBHM

  January 2012

  My son is only 9mos and I feel this way sometimes.  I want him to learn things and not just be entertained. I try not to let him watch TV (although he did get SesameSt and Elmo videos for Christmas that he loves) and I try to keep him engaged for most of the day- even if that means just me talking to him while i'm cleaning and he's playing.  But I feel like he's at a good age to start learning more and socializing more.  He's not old enough for crafts and things, but I did pick up some flash cards with animals and common things on them to "teach" him.  I am all about turning every day things into teaching moments, but there aren't too many when we're sitting around the house all day!  I go out with mommy friends and their LOs on occasion, but i'd love to do it more.  I'm hoping that once Spring gets closer, more activities will open up in my area.

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• J&A2008 member

  January 2012

  And, this may be "flame worthy" since I know the program is very controversial, but we did a lot of the "Your Baby Can Read" type activities with LO from the time he was an infant.  He's been reading since age two. 

  We started with putting signs all over the house with the written word for the object: ceiling, wall, chair, couch, table, stairs, etc.  and then went to flash cards with body parts, action words, etc.  I think a television-based program for babies is absolutely absurd, but the principle is the same.  Some kids are very capable of learning to read at very young ages. 

  Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.

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• Dochas member

  January 2012

  MaybeBabyTime:

  This is the first time I have felt like this and maybe its because my son is now 2 and its winter time. I stay home with DS and I feel like he is missing out on things. Once a week we do a story time at the library (they arent having ANY story time for the month of January though, boo) and we go to the indoor playground at the mall. We did a music class once a week for the past 18 months but I took a break for winter because last winter, he had a lingering cough for 6 weeks and we missed 6 (out of 9) classes and lost a lot of money. 

  We live in a neighborhood with A LOT of toddlers. We generally socialize a lot with them when the weather is nice. But, I would say 95% of the families in my neighborhood are working families and the children go to daycare. I have some friends with children (that stay home with them) but they are either significantly younger or older than DS.

   My son had his 2 yr old appointment yesterday and I talked this over with the pedi. He said I'm not depriving my son.....but I feel like I am! I feel like he is sheltered. I am really thinking this is because its winter....

   

   

  I don't think you're depriving him.  Not having a packed schedule is one of the main things I like about being home.  This is the only time in his life where he won't be go go going.  I love giving him that.  It's fun when we get together for a playdate or we do an activity that gets him around other kids.  But I would hate for him to have to spend every day like that.
  

  TTC since September '08 After 2 m/c - lap for stage 3-4 endo Oct '09 Bravelle w/Ovidrel trigger - iui on 11/07

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• AlabamaMamma224

  January 2012

  Is there a MOPS (moms of preschoolers) group in your area you can join?  Also, check out MMO or MDO.  Most local churches around here run them and they are (very) affordable.  They usually have 2 or 3 morning a week programs.  DS goes MWF and loves it.  I think he likes to get away from me.

  That being said, When DD was 3 and I'd just had DS, I felt like I was depriving her too.  But part of it I think was a little depression on my part. It was winter and I didn't want to (or know how to) manage a 3 yr old and a newborn! 

  I don't think spending quality time with Mom is what you would call deprivation. 

   I'd call him one lucky kid to have a Mom that is home with him all day.  You probably interact and teach in ways that you don't even realize you are doing!

  So I say, good job Mama!

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