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January 2012 Moms
erineileen317
member
Anyone else have a quiet, laid back OB? (kinda long vent)
erineileen317
member
So the list continues to grow... My OB has never:
-mentioned results from a test/scan, unless I ask.
-pulled out a measuring tape for fundal height, instead he just feels up by my ribs and says "baby's under your ribcage, right where she should be" (has said this for weeks, but I'm short and there's nowhere else for her to go, i guess)
-mentioned if he thinks baby is going to be big or any kind of weight estimate
-asked about family history (my mom's deliveries, mine or DH's births or sizes)
-brought up what I should do if I go into labor or have continual contractions (ie call him, go to the hospital, or wait until a certain point for either)
-asked how I feel about an epidural or anything else pertaining to delivery/being in the hospital
When I did ask him about L&D today, he said just to call his office first (or the emergency line and they'll get ahold of him) and he'll decide then if I should wait, come into the office, or go to L&D. I asked him what if he was unavailable, does he have someone to cover for him, and he said he planned on being there and it only takes him minutes to get to the hospital. Well, I would hope he PLANS on being there. He even chuckled at most of my questions, making me feel neurotic for asking about things that can't be forseen. I feel like I should be getting some kind idea of how he plans for this is to being going down by 38 weeks...
Am I being weird or is it like pulling teeth to get any information out of this guy? I don't know if I should take his attitude as calming/nothing to worry about or insulting that he doesn't feel the need to educate/inform me. I also thinks he just likes keeping the ball in his court. If he holds all the information, he makes all the decisions. It's a little late now, we'll see how L&D goes, but I'll probably find someone else for my next pregnancy...
Oh and last week I went to hand the receptionist my chart and under "previous diagnosis" it said "high risk pregnancy". WHAT!? No one said anything to me about that, so I asked the receptionist to ask the nurse and she said it was because of my "severe morning sickness earlier on." I told them at my appointments I was regularly throwing up until 17 weeks-ish, although I was keeping almost all of my meals down. They never told me it was severe or a risk. He would just say "that should be calming down over the next few weeks" and leave it at that. No letting me know it's not normal or giving any kind of help/advice other than "keep some crackers near your bed." How novel.
Sheesh. Maybe I'm just cranky and irritable today. I dont' know...
Married DH - December 2006,
Started TTC - July 2009,
BFP - May 15, 2011 (round #1 chlomid)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Anyone else have a quiet, laid back OB? (kinda long vent)
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Is it too late to find another doc? I'm surprised they wrote "high risk pregnancy" for your M/S. I had terrible M/S as well, threw up at least twice a day and couldn't keep anything down until 16 weeks either, but last time I checked, I thought that was "normal" pregnancy. Your OB def sounds like he's too complacent about his job.
Daughter #1 - February 12, 2010
natural m/c March 11, 2011 at 8 1/2 weeks
Daughter #2 - January 11, 2012
Ectopic pregnancy discovered November 6, 2012 at 6 weeks
Daughter #3 - January 19, 2014
Started our exploration into the world of international adoption June 2012. We have no idea what this is going to look like but we are excited to find out!
I think he falls under both of those categories pretty well.
Thanks, ladies! Luckily I get a lot of information on this board, my Bradley class and the nine million books I've accumulated this pregnancy. I think there's a good chance I'll look into a new OB before my next pregnancy, but for now he's the only one in his practice (which is why I was curious who would take over if he was unavailable), so switching would be more of a hassle and who knows if I'd find someone better or worse at this point.
Besides, DH is very on board for my birth plan and luckily he has almost no people skills (first time it's ever been a plus), so does not have a problem openly questioning/challenging the doctor in delivery room. Hopefully since he's been so laid back, he'll just let DH and I do our thing, as long as everything goes smoothly.
My experience has been similar to yours in most of those points. But I actually really like it - since I am going for a natural birth I appreciate that my OB is super mellow - I've never been measured, made to worry about size and had to ask him specifically about calling during labor and our birth plan. However, I never felt like he was witholding information when specifically asked.
Do you have a birth plan? If so, make sure you share it with him. He might just be the type that needs to be asked very direct, specific questions and pushed to give an answer.
My OB is kind of like that. She does measure but sometimes forgets to say what the measurement is. She appologized one day and said, if I don't say anything it just means that it is all normal and the way it should be, but please do ask if you want to know specifics.
Regarding labor and delivery she just says, ask me so I can give you exactly what you need/want to know. It just sucks when I also forget to ask and then I have to wait until next time to find out....
In the end I don't think it's a big deal... And I think your OB is kidn of the same, if everything normal and OK it's kind of like "nothing to report, you are a-ok". And I don't think it's that he wants to be able to make the decisions later on, I just think they have nothing out of the ordinary to report so they don't unless you ask. HTH
My ob is generally pretty quiet and doesn't volunteer up lots of info unless I ask, but she is in a high-risk practice and, while I'm technically "high risk" I have had a very uneventful pregnancy so she probably feels like there is just nothing to discuss. I know it's frustrating, but I would encourage you to write a list of questions and the next time you see your doc, let him know that there are some things you are feeling unsure/uninformed about and want to discuss - when I've gone in prepared in this way my ob has been very informative; I think so many people just go through their pregnancies on autopilot (especially when they aren't having complications), drs don't always realize that you want more info.
That being said, he shouldn't be laughing at your questions, so if you continue to get unhelpful responses I would definitely look for an new ob!
My midwife is like that. She takes my questions seriously and always asks if I have more, but that's about it. I went in this week for my 37 week apt and asked if we were going to weekly appointments and she was like, ya there's no need. I can see you in 2 weeks. Lame.
It just reminds me that you don't need a Dr. to grow/deliver a baby. They don't need to be monitoring you every second because for the most part, your body know exactly what to do. Be thankful you are having a normal pregnancy and your Dr. doesn't need to be concerned about you! GL!
FWIW, I wouldn't take this to be a bad thing. If you have questions or issues, it's pretty much your responsibility to ask. I don't mind having to ask the questions because I can pick and choose what I want to know each week.
Also, think about the fact that he seems umpteen pregnant women a day, and a hundred (plus?) pregnant women a week. It's probably also hard for him to remember who he tells what.
You can, of course, feel any way you wan, but this wouldn't bother me.
ETA: But I should say my OBs have never laughed at a question I asked. Maybe because I don't ask a ridiculous amount of questions, but either way, if he belittles you, that's not good.