Anyone else have a quiet, laid back OB? (kinda long vent)

erineileen317

So the list continues to grow... My OB has never:

-mentioned results from a test/scan, unless I ask.

-pulled out a measuring tape for fundal height, instead he just feels up by my ribs and says "baby's under your ribcage, right where she should be" (has said this for weeks, but I'm short and there's nowhere else for her to go, i guess)

-mentioned if he thinks baby is going to be big or any kind of weight estimate

-asked about family history (my mom's deliveries, mine or DH's births or sizes)

-brought up what I should do if I go into labor or have continual contractions (ie call him, go to the hospital, or wait until a certain point for either)

-asked how I feel about an epidural or anything else pertaining to delivery/being in the hospital

When I did ask him about L&D today, he said just to call his office first (or the emergency line and they'll get ahold of him) and he'll decide then if I should wait, come into the office, or go to L&D.  I asked him what if he was unavailable, does he have someone to cover for him, and he said he planned on being there and it only takes him minutes to get to the hospital.  Well, I would hope he PLANS on being there.  He even chuckled at most of my questions, making me feel neurotic for asking about things that can't be forseen.  I feel like I should be getting some kind idea of how he plans for this is to being going down by 38 weeks...

Am I being weird or is it like pulling teeth to get any information out of this guy?  I don't know if I should take his attitude as calming/nothing to worry about or insulting that he doesn't feel the need to educate/inform me.  I also thinks he just likes keeping the ball in his court.  If he holds all the information, he makes all the decisions.  It's a little late now, we'll see how L&D goes, but I'll probably find someone else for my next pregnancy...

Oh and last week I went to hand the receptionist my chart and under "previous diagnosis" it said "high risk pregnancy".  WHAT!?  No one said anything to me about that, so I asked the receptionist to ask the nurse and she said it was because of my "severe morning sickness earlier on."  I told them at my appointments I was regularly throwing up until 17 weeks-ish, although I was keeping almost all of my meals down.  They never told me it was severe or a risk.  He would just say "that should be calming down over the next few weeks" and leave it at that.  No letting me know it's not normal or giving any kind of help/advice other than "keep some crackers near your bed."  How novel.

Sheesh.  Maybe I'm just cranky and irritable today.  I dont' know...

fyrefairie

I just switched (bc my OB is out on maternity) and she was not a big talker kinda similar would answer questions if i asked but kinda acted like everything was procedure  and routine so why discuss as a FTM it wasn discouraging and so i stpped asking her as many questions and started calling the NP at my practice that I saw prior to being PG.  However, she never laughed off my questions.  My new doc I feel much more comfortable with however today she breezed me in and out but there were like 40 ppl in hte lobby and half their dopplers were down and I think it was circumstancial.  That said I think OBs who are A) male and cannot relate to being a curious/anxious PG lady and have been doing this a long time (regardless of gender) can lose persepctive on what its like for the person in the stirrups

apiechta

I just switched my doc 2 weeks ago at 35 weeks...i felt my doctor wasnt communicating well so i made an appt with a diff doc in the practice and its a much. Etter fit...he listens and spends time answering mu questions...if i were u i would look into it...u need to be comfortable

Izabella22

Besides the fundal measurements, my Ob has never volunteered any of that info unless I've asked and we usually breeze through appts. It annoyed me for a while but it really has helped me not overthinking things and I am now realizing that her laid back attitude will probably be a bonus during L&D in terms of not getting pressured for lots of interventions. I'd ask whatever questions you want to and not feel bad about it, its your first time... just b/c they've done it a million times doesn't mean we have! And as far as the high risk thing, they probably didn't want to stress you out unnecessarily. After switching Ob practices after my 2nd loss I reviewed my chart and there were a lot of things in there they didn't tell me to my face, seemed a little off but at the time it wasn't really worth adding to my already feeling pretty crappy.

tko72

Is it too late to find another doc? I'm surprised they wrote "high risk pregnancy" for your M/S. I had terrible M/S as well, threw up at least twice a day and couldn't keep anything down until 16 weeks either, but last time I checked, I thought that was "normal" pregnancy. Your OB def sounds like he's too complacent about his job.

megaloo27

Mine is the same way. She even laughed at one question. I love my NP and my nurse, they are great so I just suck it up for the five minutes I have with the doctor. 

shortstuff15

erineileen317:

So the list continues to grow... My OB has never:

-mentioned results from a test/scan, unless I ask. - that is kinda weird, but I would say if there is nothing to worry about then he probably just doesn't think you want to know.

-pulled out a measuring tape for fundal height, instead he just feels up by my ribs and says "baby's under your ribcage, right where she should be" (has said this for weeks, but I'm short and there's nowhere else for her to go, i guess) - fundal height really means nothing except that your uterus is growing so going by feel is basically the same thing as using a measuring tape.

-mentioned if he thinks baby is going to be big or any kind of weight estimate - neither has my doctor and I am glad because it doesn't really matter at all whether they think big or small.  Your body will most likely make a baby you can deliver.

-asked about family history (my mom's deliveries, mine or DH's births or sizes) - your mom's deliveries have nothing to do with how yours will go.  Labour is not genetic!  And yours and your husbands births and sizes also have little effect on your labour & delivery.  My husband was footling breach with the cord wrapped around his neck 3 times.  He was grey when he came out.  That will in no way at all affect my babies.  Size may come into play, but not necessarily.  Family history is things like cancer/diseases/health problems and any previous births YOU have had.

-brought up what I should do if I go into labor or have continual contractions (ie call him, go to the hospital, or wait until a certain point for either) - Doctors should have to do this?  I guess to me it's pretty much common sense....

-asked how I feel about an epidural or anything else pertaining to delivery/being in the hospital - at least here the nurses are the ones who do mostly everything, so talking to your doctor about stuff like this is a moot point, but that may be the Canadian health system!

When I did ask him about L&D today, he said just to call his office first (or the emergency line and they'll get ahold of him) and he'll decide then if I should wait, come into the office, or go to L&D.  I asked him what if he was unavailable, does he have someone to cover for him, and he said he planned on being there and it only takes him minutes to get to the hospital.  Well, I would hope he PLANS on being there.  He even chuckled at most of my questions, making me feel neurotic for asking about things that can't be forseen.  I feel like I should be getting some kind idea of how he plans for this is to being going down by 38 weeks...

Am I being weird or is it like pulling teeth to get any information out of this guy?  I don't know if I should take his attitude as calming/nothing to worry about or insulting that he doesn't feel the need to educate/inform me.  I also thinks he just likes keeping the ball in his court.  If he holds all the information, he makes all the decisions.  It's a little late now, we'll see how L&D goes, but I'll probably find someone else for my next pregnancy...

Oh and last week I went to hand the receptionist my chart and under "previous diagnosis" it said "high risk pregnancy".  WHAT!?  No one said anything to me about that, so I asked the receptionist to ask the nurse and she said it was because of my "severe morning sickness earlier on."  I told them at my appointments I was regularly throwing up until 17 weeks-ish, although I was keeping almost all of my meals down.  They never told me it was severe or a risk.  He would just say "that should be calming down over the next few weeks" and leave it at that.  No letting me know it's not normal or giving any kind of help/advice other than "keep some crackers near your bed."  How novel. - I've never heard of morning sickness making a pregnancy high risk!  That is weird!

Sheesh.  Maybe I'm just cranky and irritable today.  I dont' know...

erineileen317

fyrefairie:

I just switched (bc my OB is out on maternity) and she was not a big talker kinda similar would answer questions if i asked but kinda acted like everything was procedure  and routine so why discuss as a FTM it wasn discouraging and so i stpped asking her as many questions and started calling the NP at my practice that I saw prior to being PG.  However, she never laughed off my questions.  My new doc I feel much more comfortable with however today she breezed me in and out but there were like 40 ppl in hte lobby and half their dopplers were down and I think it was circumstancial.  That said I think OBs who are A) male and cannot relate to being a curious/anxious PG lady and have been doing this a long time (regardless of gender) can lose persepctive on what its like for the person in the stirrups

I think he falls under both of those categories pretty well.

Thanks, ladies!  Luckily I get a lot of information on this board, my Bradley class and the nine million books I've accumulated this pregnancy.  I think there's a good chance I'll look into a new OB before my next pregnancy, but for now he's the only one in his practice (which is why I was curious who would take over if he was unavailable), so switching would be more of a hassle and who knows if I'd find someone better or worse at this point. 

Besides, DH is very on board for my birth plan and luckily he has almost no people skills (first time it's ever been a plus), so does not have a problem openly questioning/challenging the doctor in delivery room.  Hopefully since he's been so laid back, he'll just let DH and I do our thing, as long as everything goes smoothly.

birdie9927

My experience has been similar to yours in most of those points. But I actually really like it - since I am going for a natural birth I appreciate that my OB is super mellow - I've never been measured, made to worry about size and had to ask him specifically about calling during labor and our birth plan. However, I never felt like he was witholding information when specifically asked.

Do you have a birth plan? If so, make sure you share it with him. He might just be the type that needs to be asked very direct, specific questions and pushed to give an  answer.

bigbear

My OB is kind of like that. She does measure but sometimes forgets to say what the measurement is. She appologized one day and said, if I don't say anything it just means that it is all normal and the way it should be, but please do ask if you want to know specifics.

Regarding labor and delivery she just says, ask me so I can give you exactly what you need/want to know. It just sucks when I also forget to ask and then I have to wait until next time to find out....

In the end I don't think it's a big deal... And I think your OB is kidn of the same, if everything normal and OK it's kind of like "nothing to report, you are a-ok". And I don't think it's that he wants to be able to make the decisions later on, I just think they have nothing out of the ordinary to report so they don't unless you ask. HTH

kmm2150

My ob is generally pretty quiet and doesn't volunteer up lots of info unless I ask, but she is in a high-risk practice and, while I'm technically "high risk" I have had a very uneventful pregnancy so she probably feels like there is just nothing to discuss.  I know it's frustrating, but I would encourage you to write a list of questions and the next time you see your doc, let him know that there are some things you are feeling unsure/uninformed about and want to discuss - when I've gone in prepared in this way my ob has been very informative; I think so many people just go through their pregnancies on autopilot (especially when they aren't having complications), drs don't always realize that you want more info. 

That being said, he shouldn't be laughing at your questions, so if you continue to get unhelpful responses I would definitely look for an new ob!

aubreyan

My midwife is like that.  She takes my questions seriously and always asks if I have more, but that's about it.  I went in this week for my 37 week apt and asked if we were going to weekly appointments and she was like, ya there's no need.  I can see you in 2 weeks. Lame.

It just reminds me that you don't need a Dr. to grow/deliver a baby.  They don't need to be monitoring you every second because for the most part, your body know exactly what to do.  Be thankful you are having a normal pregnancy and your Dr. doesn't need to be concerned about you!  GL!

SoonToBeMsP

erineileen317:

-mentioned results from a test/scan, unless I ask. they always said they would call if there was an issue, so I just never heard back

-pulled out a measuring tape for fundal height, instead he just feels up by my ribs and says "baby's under your ribcage, right where she should be" (has said this for weeks, but I'm short and there's nowhere else for her to go, i guess) one of my OBs doesn't, the other two do measure. 

-mentioned if he thinks baby is going to be big or any kind of weight estimate nope

-asked about family history (my mom's deliveries, mine or DH's births or sizes) nope

-brought up what I should do if I go into labor or have continual contractions (ie call him, go to the hospital, or wait until a certain point for either) she touched on it yesterday at my appt

-asked how I feel about an epidural or anything else pertaining to delivery/being in the hospital nope

FWIW, I wouldn't take this to be a bad thing. If you have questions or issues, it's pretty much your responsibility to ask. I don't mind having to ask the questions because I can pick and choose what I want to know each week.

Also, think about the fact that he seems umpteen pregnant women a day, and a hundred (plus?) pregnant women a week. It's probably also hard for him to remember who he tells what. 

You can, of course, feel any way you wan, but this wouldn't bother me. 

ETA: But I should say my OBs have never laughed at a question I asked. Maybe because I don't ask a ridiculous amount of questions, but either way, if he belittles you, that's not good.