Greatest hardship of my life....

Veryjoy · December 2011

1.5 years ago my husband was killed overseas in Iraq. It was extraordinarily traumatic for me especially bc at that time we hair started our family as DD was about is months old. I at that time completely deleted my Facebook because I couldn't tolerate looking at the pictures or the thought of getting people's condolences online... May not make sense but it was the most painful time for me.

So I'm just starting up my facebook again, as I moved recently and would like my family in Minnesota to see pics of DD... I'm slowly putting up some pics of DD and have informed friends/family to not post on my wall anything regarding my late husband. Also I have not even been able to look at pics of my DH bc it sends me into a blubbering mess... So I'm not posting any pics of him(from previous times) just yet.

Am I being too ridiculous with this or is this ok for me to still be having a tough time??

Mrs.Rose · December 2011

I think you are absolutely justified in setting some boundaries while you are still grieving. I think everyone will understand, and if they don't, then who cares. You need to deal with things in your own way. I think you are being more than reasonable. I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I can't even imagine how you must be feeling.

MrsMommyQ · December 2011

First of all I'm so sorry for your loss. I cannot begin to imagine what you go through on a daily basis. Thank you to your late husband for serving our country.

IMO you can have a hard time dealing with your loss for as long as you are feeling that way. I think you can ask people not to post pictures of him on FB, I just hope that everyone understands and abides by your wishes. If not, you can always delete the photos or untag yourself. It will be painful, but at least there is an option.

Best of luck to you and your DD. How old is she now?

FLchicken · December 2011

You are absolutely not being ridiculous. Grief takes many paths and right now you know what works best for you. Hopefully one day you will be able to look at those pictures and such, but if you aren't ready, that is perfectly fine as well.

amykins1283 · December 2011

It's completely normal. Everyone's way of mourning is different. You shouldn't feel badly at all. I would say that as long as you are not letting is affect your every day life too badly (like, debilitating depression) then you are free to grieve as long as necessary.

So sorry for your loss. Your husband must have been a great man.

Soter1 · December 2011

Mrs.Rose:
I think you are absolutely justified in setting some boundaries while you are still grieving. I think everyone will understand, and if they don't, then who cares. You need to deal with things in your own way. I think you are being more than reasonable. I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I can't even imagine how you must be feeling.

This. I am so sorry for your loss.

KK2004 · December 2011

I agree with all of the previous posters. Lots of hugs to you and your DD.

mommabear7182 · December 2011

NO! You're not being ridiculous at all! I would have done the same thing! So sorry for your loss, may prayers be with you.

Kingston54 · December 2011

I would also be a blubbering mess. YOu are totally justified. I am sorry about your DH.

hopeful34 · January 2012

I have always had much respect for military wives. My sincere condolenses on the loss of your husband & i thank him for serving our country.

I feel like you are totally justified to feel this way for as long as you like or need to. A year and half is not that long ago sweetie. A year in my life seems to pass by in a day. I wish i was there to give you more support but since i can't please accept these virtual hugs (((hugs)))

[Deleted User] · January 2012

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NewFamily09 · January 2012

I can't even imagine being in your position. I think you have the right to deal with your situation however you want to. And if that means you don't want to see pictures of him or get comments about him, then that is your right and people should (and probably will) respect it. Don't feel guilty about it. You aren't being ridiculous at all.

rlyttle · January 2012

I would have a hard time for the rest of my life!!! Do you have someone to talk to about your grief?

Veryjoy · January 2012

My DD will be two on valentines day and thank you for all the support and kind messages. You ladies are amazing.

Veryjoy · January 2012

MrsMommyQ:
First of all I'm so sorry for your loss. I cannot begin to imagine what you go through on a daily basis. Thank you to your late husband for serving our country.
IMO you can have a hard time dealing with your loss for as long as you are feeling that way. I think you can ask people not to post pictures of him on FB, I just hope that everyone understands and abides by your wishes. If not, you can always delete the photos or untag yourself. It will be painful, but at least there is an option.
Best of luck to you and your DD. How old is she now?

My DD will be two on valentines day... And thank you greatly for the kind words and support

Emily&Dan~Oct '04~ · January 2012

I'm so sorry for your loss! My DH died about a 1 1/2 yrs ago as well, he died of an unexpected heart attack at the age of 29. I think you have every right not to ask people to post pictures of your DH. I feel the same way, when certain people post pics of my DH or make comments about him, I just feel they don't have the right to do so and it does upset me. If that makes me crazy, oh well. No one knows what its like to be a widow unless you become one and the boundaries you set are the ones that work for you in the grieving process. I hope you have a strong support group of friends and family.

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