Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
TaylorandMel
member
Re: How many kids?
We always said two. Originally we were each going to carry, but L ended up having medical issues that made us decide that she wasn't ever going to TTC. When I got pregnant with twins, we knew we were done. We've never wavered or thought about having another. Two is doable for us - emotionally, logistically, and financially.
We've been in the plan-for-three, open-to-four camp for a while now. We each have two siblings and love that. But we're not committed to anything; we might be perfectly happy with just the twins, and stop there. We have a lot of things that we want to do once the kids are grown, so it might make sense to just have two. On the other hand, I do want to give my kids the same kind of thing I have with my siblings, and I think it's nice for adult children in larger families to be able to share the burden of aging parents.
We'd always planned on each carrying if possible, but early on in this pregnancy I realized that I would be fine if I never get to be pregnant. There would be a certain amount of processing, and maybe mourning the loss of that experience, but it would be fine. We bought quite a few of our donor's vials in case he went off the market (and he did, almost immediately afterward), so we have plenty left to try for bio siblings. Just taking things as they come right now.
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
I come from a blended family with 7 kids with my dad and 1 (much younger) sister with my mom. I've always wanted to have kids and thought that 4 sounded good. When I met C, she said 1, I said 4 and we compromised on 2. Our plan/goal is to have two, ideally about 3 years apart.
Similar to Kershnic, I worry that that twins (which run in my family) would mean only one pregnancy. It's important to me to experience pregnancy, ideally at least twice.
For years, I've wondered in the back of my mind if I could vie for a third bio and/or fostering at some point. Ultimately, it will depend on how/how long it takes to get pregnant (initially and subsequently). If I get pregnant easily and we had left over vials after the first two, I think it *could* sway things in my favor. For fostering, I think it would only be when our kids are older (7+) and might be limited to respite (ideally of newborn-two year old).
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*
I'd like 4, DW is happy with 2. We originally planned irish twins, but that didn't quite work out.
I am still hoping to carry eventually, but I don't know if it'll happen. $$ doesn't grow on trees, and we are unsure about having kids 5+ yrs apart.
When we were in the planning stages I wanted 3 and DW wanted 2 - which of course meant that we'd have 3
Now DW is all set at 3 and sometimes I am too. Its a nice number and there are many reasons it would do us good to stay at 3 - not the least of which is that DW has already compromised to get here and I don't want to put her in over her head. But, I've still got this nagging feeling in my heart that we arent quite complete...i'm not ready to be done with babies...
for financial reasons, we've decided to table the issue until Daisy is in preschool (2 years) then we'll make our final decision. It may just end up being that we'll continue to foster without any intent to adopt
eta: the other thing i think about a lot when i think about this question is what is right for my kids. Its not all about me and missing/loving babies...there is no honor in taking in more children if it leaves us strapped (finances, time, energy, patience, ect) and unable to provide the children we do have with the most positive life possible.
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
Thank you for adding this part! I'm really torn as to whether a second child is the 'right' thing for our first child. I do want another child but my want is completely selfish. It's about my desire. Is it really best for other people though? I struggle with not wanting her to be an only child but I also struggle and not being able to give her enough if we are dividing our resources among two children.
Finances keep us for TTC again right now anyway but K's age also demands we not wait much longer. It's a hard issue for me to discuss right now.
I wrote a whole blog post trying to sort out my feelings on this one, and I'm still not there yet. Before Gwen, I was sure 2 would be our magic number. Ideally 2 years apart.
Now? Well my babe is about to be 2 in Feb and we're still not sure that we're going to want another. We may be one and done. No decisions are being made yet, but we both feel pretty content with her, and we like the parent-to-child ratio! Lol. I also like that we'd be able to do more, and that we won't be contributing to population growth.
On the other hand, I don't want her to miss out on the sibling interactions and would hate to saddle her with both of us in old age. I guess we'll see.
Maybe I don't have a heightened sense of smell, but I've never smelled any vagina on my pants. -- TSD
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