Preparing almost 4 year old for baby — The Bump
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Preparing almost 4 year old for baby

I had no idea DD would be so inquisitive about how the new baby would actually get here, and how she would eat.  She mentioned today that the doctor would open my tummy and take the baby out and I corrected her saying that the baby would come out of my vagina.  Well, that has opened the floodgates!  She wants to know everything, but doesn't really understand any of it.  Any tips?  She seems to think that she's going to sleep in the hospital bed with me.  She also asked if the baby would break my pants when she comes out. lol  I think he might be too smart for he own good!  There's a sibling prep class at the hospital I was thinking about for 3-10yr olds.  I was thinking of waiting til a little closer to EDD (3/19), but all these questions are stumping me!
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Re: Preparing almost 4 year old for baby

  • My daughter is newly 4 and I would never dream of explaining birth and a baby coming out of my vagina to her. I would avoid those questions like the plague...that is why parents invented the stork.Your daughter is too young for that talk, IMO and has overheard conversations she shouldn't have. I would have left it the point where she thought the doctor takes the baby out of your belly. Zip it!
    DD#1 11.7.07 - DD#2 11.2.10 (3rd Tri Loss)- DD#3 4.18.12
  • that's just how they are.  They're really curious about the world around them and how it works and will keep asking and asking and asking.  I would just keep answering questions in the most kid friendly terms available.  Personally, I think it's fine to explain where they baby will come out of (but I'm glad I had c/s's ;-) ).  Just make sure that she knows these are discussions for her to have with you and not at school.  It's really good that she is asking these questions so that she won't be surprised by the idea that mommy is staying away for a few nights and she won't be able to stay with you.  I would even start thinking of other concerns she may have now and address them as you get closer. 
    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
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  • I would be honest and explain things in a kid-appropriate way.  I wouldn't start talking about storks or anything else.  Babies come from our bodies and grow from them.  I might not be descriptive about how exactly it comes out, but you could point out that it comes out the same way pee or poop does - you know its there, you push it out, etc.  And, then remind her that she came the same way and you came from your mother the same way, etc.  Ditto PP, I would make it clear that these are "private" discussions, just for home and with you or Daddy, etc. 
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  • I wish I had advice. DH told DD that I had a baby in my tummy & she said "mommy ate a baby??!?!"..............
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  • My 4.5-y-o just asked me today how the baby will come out, since my "belly is closed." I told her God gives mommies a special place where they come out--and changed the subject. One thing that has helped my daughter with questions is to show her pictures of baby's development. Of course, my daughter is a little older than yours.

    Check out your local library for kid appropriate books. That sibling class might not be a bad thing to take sooner rather than later, to give her a chance to get used to the idea.

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  • My soon to be 5yr old is very interested in these things as well. He asked me if the baby will break out of my stomach. Dh changed the subject. I am going to explain next time the baby will come from my vagina. We are signed up to take the siblings class at the hospital in 2 weeks as well.
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  • cute questions!  I have an older son but he was 3 and 3.5 when I was pg and had DS and he didn't ask any of those questions. But when I had DS2 he was asking me about why the baby was biting my boobs. We told him the truth and the reason. Of course DS1 wanted to try it and I told him that big boys drink out of cups.

    We got a big brother book and read that to him a lot. As we started getting baby things we would talk about how it's for Ross and we used new baby's name a lot. 

  • DD was 5 when my new LO was born and she asked the same questions.  I explained it as easy as possible using the correct terminology.  I agree, she didn't fully understand but at least I was honest about it.  The funniest question was:  "Mommy how are you going to walk afterwards if the hole gets that big?".  They are just too funny.  DS was four when our new LO was born and he didn't ask too many questions.  He did want to know what my milk tasted like so I expressed some to let him taste it.  He said it was pretty gross and didn't ask anything else. There are books that you can borrow from the library that talk about how babies are born which might be helpful.  Good luck!
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