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? for you ladies

cg0112358cg0112358 member
in Secondary IF

I have a close friend/co-worker who is experiencing SIF. After having a healthy baby boy she spent two years TTC using OPKs. She has since been to an RE and all of the tests show that she and her H should have no problem conceiving a child. She also just recently (within the past month) had two unsuccessful IUIs.

I feel horrible for her and would like to know if any of you ladies have any recommendations on how I can show my support?

DS1: 8/3/10, DD1: 8/17/13, DD2: 8/13/15
Twins lost to due to partial molar pregnancy: September 2011 
~~PAL, PgAL Always Welcome~~
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Re: ? for you ladies

  • JMayJMay member

    Honestly, I think just listening to her when she needs to talk, and not offering too many suggestions, is the best thing.  Knowing that I have a friend to call who doesn't mind hearing me say the same thing for the hundreth time, and who can listen to me cry without flinching, is so important.  Also, check out this Resolve page for tips for friends of those going through IF:

    https://www.resolve.org/support-and-services/for-family--friends/

    GL!

    Doriimage
    "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."

    Miracle DD born 12.2005
    TTC #2 since Dec 2008 w/ PCOS
    ***P/SAIF Always Welcome***

    Keep it Natural, Baby!
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  • lillinzloulillinzlou
    imageJMay:

    Honestly, I think just listening to her when she needs to talk, and not offering too many suggestions, is the best thing.  Knowing that I have a friend to call who doesn't mind hearing me say the same thing for the hundreth time, and who can listen to me cry without flinching, is so important.  Also, check out this Resolve page for tips for friends of those going through IF:

    https://www.resolve.org/support-and-services/for-family--friends/

    GL!

    I have been thinking about a good answer to this ?, and I think Jenna nailed it!

    Conceived DD after 15 cycles--- TTC #2 since 11/10---Me- Poor egg quality and supply---DH- Poor count and motility---2 rounds 75IU Follistim/IUI-BFN---5/12 150IU Follistim/IUI-Over-produced! Converted to IVF! 0 fertilized:( Rescue ICSI performed. 2 embryos transfered-BFN

    ---------Game Over---------

    Moving on as a family of 3
    Lou's Infertility News

    <a href="http://s863.photobucket.com/albums/ab199/lillinzlou2/?action=view
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  • TwizzleTwizzle member
    What JMay said.   Also want to add to never say anything like "just be happy you already have one child".  This comment always made me mad.  Just because you are sad you can't have a second (or third, etc) child does not mean you don't love your first one.
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  • gina&dave07gina&dave07 member

    imageTwizzle:
    What JMay said.   Also want to add to never say anything like "just be happy you already have one child".  This comment always made me mad.  Just because you are sad you can't have a second (or third, etc) child does not mean you don't love your first one.

    Yes, please don't say this....I have heard this waaaay too many times.

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  • cg0112358cg0112358 member
    imagelillinzlou:
    imageJMay:

    Honestly, I think just listening to her when she needs to talk, and not offering too many suggestions, is the best thing.  Knowing that I have a friend to call who doesn't mind hearing me say the same thing for the hundreth time, and who can listen to me cry without flinching, is so important.  Also, check out this Resolve page for tips for friends of those going through IF:

    https://www.resolve.org/support-and-services/for-family--friends/

    GL!

    I have been thinking about a good answer to this ?, and I think Jenna nailed it!

    Thanks for the tips and the website, I'll definitely be checking it out.

    imagegina&dave07:

    imageTwizzle:
    What JMay said.   Also want to add to never say anything like "just be happy you already have one child".  This comment always made me mad.  Just because you are sad you can't have a second (or third, etc) child does not mean you don't love your first one.

    Yes, please don't say this....I have heard this waaaay too many times. 

    I have to say that my experiences this year guarantee that I would never say that...I m/c earlier this year and while I do already have a child that, in no way, negates the pain I feel from my loss. In the same way, her having a child in no way negates the pain that she feels in being unable to conceive another.

    I am grateful to you ladies for responding and am hoping that she is able to overcome her SIF and get a BFP in this new year :) 

    DS1: 8/3/10, DD1: 8/17/13, DD2: 8/13/15
    Twins lost to due to partial molar pregnancy: September 2011 
    ~~PAL, PgAL Always Welcome~~
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