My unpopular opinion re: the Target BF incident

Melissa2216 · December 2011

I know it's not Thursday, but I thought I'd throw my opinion out there. I was just scrolling through April's post and I looked briefly at the FB comments. I don't know much about the incident but is it true that the woman pulled out her boob and sat down on the floor in the middle of Target? Because if all of that is true, I give a big side-eye to that lady. That just seems like odd behavior. Feel free to correct me if I have the facts wrong...

Yes, BF is a natural, beautiful thing. But I don't understand why you wouldn't WANT to find a quiet, peaceful place to bond with your baby while BFing. I don't know her situation of course, but I can tell when DS is starting to get hungry, and I have enough time to make it to a dressing room (which seems like the logical place to BF in a Target). The floor is dirty and shoppers walking around me would irritate me and distract my son. It makes more sense to be out of the way in a dressing room. Plus, I like to give my son a soothing, peaceful experience when BFing, rather than a stressful, rushed one.

I also don't know why you would want to "whip it out" for everyone in Target to see. I get not using a nursing cover--DS hates having his head covered, so I don't use one. Another reason why the dressing room seems more appropriate.

Before you flame me too much, please know that earlier tonight I was on a different sight posting a not-so-kind response to a guy who gave the brilliant advice to "bring along a bottle" when shopping. I explained how giving my son a bottle means my supply suffers and I need to rush home to pump to make up for the milk I used. Which means added stress ("I used 4 oz! Which means I need to pump at least 4 oz!!")...and stress = more supply issues.

And don't get me started on those people that suggest the bathroom as a decent place to BF. Ick.

kas80 · December 2011

My first thought when I heard about the incident is that I really don't understand why she was sitting on the floor. Just thinking about that makes me cringe. Why not use a much more comfortable dressing room (which at least has a place to sit)? I fail to see how that offer is so insulting. With that said, the other comments by the employees and the store's response are inexcusable.

P0upette · December 2011

i kind of agrew with you. I don't get why that would seem to be a good idea. The floor is dirty, you are in the way, DS would be super distracted and it seems like such an uncomfortable experience I don't understand why you wouldn't want to go to the dressing room.

However the rudness of the staff is just baffling.

alm0309 · December 2011

I agree with you. I would never sit on Targets floor and feed my son a bottle.

IdigDirt · December 2011

according to the story she was covered with a blanket but I personally would prefere a changing room to the floor. The way the staff treated her was wrong IMO.

kathetakite · December 2011

I agree with the sitting on the floor thing. First of all it is gross second of all there are people shopping and employees working not only would they be walking around you but you are in their way. When I was b/fing if we were out in public I would use a nursing cover and either find a suitable place to sit or keep walking. Walking and feeding really isn't all that difficult.

Marcilene1 · December 2011

kathetakite:
I agree with the sitting on the floor thing. First of all it is gross second of all there are people shopping and employees working not only would they be walking around you but you are in their way. When I was b/fing if we were out in public I would use a nursing cover and either find a suitable place to sit or keep walking. Walking and feeding really isn't all that difficult.

I agree with the sitting on the floor thing, but we don't really know the whole story. Why was she sitting on the floor? Maybe the dressing rooms were packed? We also don't know that she was "in the middle of Target". Maybe she found a somewhat quiet/less busy spot to sit. I'm just saying we don't know all the whys and wheres here so I'm inclined to give her a break. Also, even if the dressing rooms weren't all occupied, she has every right to feed her child where ever she sees fit.

A note on the walking while bfing: I definitely did that a lot when DD was younger (and lighter), now that would not be possible without a sling for support.

prncsstp · December 2011

chrismo1013:

kathetakite:
I agree with the sitting on the floor thing. First of all it is gross second of all there are people shopping and employees working not only would they be walking around you but you are in their way. When I was b/fing if we were out in public I would use a nursing cover and either find a suitable place to sit or keep walking. Walking and feeding really isn't all that difficult.

I agree with the sitting on the floor thing, but we don't really know the whole story. Why was she sitting on the floor? Maybe the dressing rooms were packed? We also don't know that she was "in the middle of Target". Maybe she found a somewhat quiet/less busy spot to sit. I'm just saying we don't know all the whys and wheres here so I'm inclined to give her a break. Also, even if the dressing rooms weren't all occupied, she has every right to feed her child where ever she sees fit.

A note on the walking while bfing: I definitely did that a lot when DD was younger (and lighter), now that would not be possible without a sling for support.

I posted this very opinion on Aprils post last night, but everyone was focused on the FB comments.

She was nursing in the middle of the women's clothing department, near a jeans display. This is hardly a remote location, like she tries to claim in a reconstruction of the events. If anything, it may be one of the busier areas of the store IMO.

If I am shopping for jeans, I would be irritated if a nursing mom was plopped in front of the jeans the display. Not because she is nursing, but because I cant get to the jeans, or get my cart through. I prob would have told her to move to a more convenient area.

I also give the side eye to nursing my LO on a public floor of a Target. It sounds dirty. The fitting rooms would be a welcome sitting location. And I actually think it was nice of them to allow the mom to tie up a fitting room for a bit of time. Its a fitting room, not a bathroom.

That being said, telling her its public indecency and all. that nonsense that the employees said is wrong. She could have had her whole boob exposed and Id be on her side for that.

I dont know what her target is like, maybe a Chicago area mom can give more specifics, but I know the Targets around here all have food areas -starbucks or a little cafe, why not go there?

The excuse that when your kid is hungry, they need to eat immediately is garbage too... I think your baby can wait 5 minutes for you to move to a fitting room or the cafe, or even the outdoor furniture area - sit on a patio display!

I am the first one willing to NIP - and do so at all Syr. Univ. basketball games in front of 20,000 people. But I give this woman the side eye, and I kind of feel like she was wanting to get a reaction out of the Target employees.

cassoppea · December 2011

I agree with what you said - I wouldn't wNt to nurse on a floor either if there was a better place to go. But I think people were more upset by the way it was handled by the Target employee. I think the point was more that this woman was chastised for NIP.

SarahP15 · December 2011

cassoppea:
I agree with what you said - I wouldn't wNt to nurse on a floor either if there was a better place to go. But I think people were more upset by the way it was handled by the Target employee. I think the point was more that this woman was chastised for NIP.

Yes

We don't know the circumstances behind why she chose to sit on the floor, and quite honestly, it doesn't matter. She has the right to nurse in public wherever she chooses and shouldn't have to deal with comments by Target employees.

akayf · December 2011

There's 2 sides of the story...hers and Target's....and somewhere in the middle is the truth.

I wonder if the employees saw her BFing on the floor and orginally suggested that she might be more comfortable in the dressing room not because they were horrified that she was BFing but simply because they thought sitting on a fitting room bench would be more comfortable than the floor. And the woman was offended and the situation escalated.

If the employees did make the rude comments she is claiming, well there is no excuse for that.

bunnymama625 · December 2011

I've seen a lot of the interviews, articles, etc, and from what it seems to me, she was in a Target that was busy. She sat against a wall, near the jeans, somewhat under racks of clothing (you know those racks hung on the wall).

I have no idea where the dressing rooms are in my Target- I don't know why she didn't head there- I'm assuming she had a reason. Maybe the lines were long, maybe she didn't know where they were, maybe her LO was having a complete meltdown. There is no way she knew sitting down to nurse her baby would result in all of this.

For me, I'm more upset at the Target employees reaction than anything else. I don't care how politely they suggested she move, having 8 employees surround you is ridiculous. I also probably would have said no thank you as well- once Cammie gets latched on, she doesn't take that long and has a fit if you stop her-- its easier just to let her finish up where we are.

Pockety · December 2011

I live in Chicago and frequent that Target. It is a dirty Target, with employees that are not all that nice - it is a city store, not a big suburban pretty store. Probably the cleanest areas would be the dressing rooms, but also, they are co-ed and sometimes there are little punky boys running around in there, and I'm not actually sure that there are benches in the rooms - I think they're just stalls.

There is a food area, which is also dirty. I've given DS a bottle in there, but only by moving my chair far away from a table so there's no chance DS will reach out and touch the table and then put his hands in his mouth - yuck!

If the woman was out of the way, somewhat hidden against a wall, and her boob wasn't being shown to the entire store, then I think the staff blew things out of proportion. If I were still nursing, and I was at that particular Target, the only place I'd be willing to nurse would be outside, in my car.

My unpopular opinion is that I am firmly against a woman's right to "whip it out" uncovered, wherever she wants. I don't think it is a baby's right to eat wherever they happen to be when they get hungry. They can wait 5 minutes to get somewhere more private, cleaner, more relaxing. I don't judge women whose babies are crying; I do judge women who make breastfeeding into an "issue" to fight about. Just do what you need to do, in a way that what you do doesn't have to affect others. Just like I wouldn't take my baby to a movie or quiet, fancy restaurant if I wasn't absolutely certain he wouldn't disturb others, I wouldn't whip out my boob in the middle of Target if I couldn't be discreet about it.

Melissa2216 · December 2011

Pockety:
My unpopular opinion is that I am firmly against a woman's right to "whip it out" uncovered, wherever she wants. I don't think it is a baby's right to eat wherever they happen to be when they get hungry. They can wait 5 minutes to get somewhere more private, cleaner, more relaxing. I don't judge women whose babies are crying; I do judge women who make breastfeeding into an "issue" to fight about. Just do what you need to do, in a way that what you do doesn't have to affect others. Just like I wouldn't take my baby to a movie or quiet, fancy restaurant if I wasn't absolutely certain he wouldn't disturb others, I wouldn't whip out my boob in the middle of Target if I couldn't be discreet about it.

I agree with all of this. I think it's a matter of common courtesy. I wouldn't take a baby to the movies, even though I have every right to. I just don't see the point in making others uncomfortable if I can avoid it.

I also agree with those people on FB that are concerned with what their kids are subjected to (with regards to "whipping it out"). Just because BFing is natural does NOT mean that I want my son (or husband for that matter) walking through a store and seeing random boobs. You have the right to feed your child. You do NOT have the right to expose my child to partial nudity.

Now, if the woman in Target was covered up and against a wall out of the way, I will give her the benefit of the doubt. I still think the floor is a nasty place to feed a baby, but whatevs.

kas80 · December 2011

Honestly the whole thing reminds me of the incident a few years back at Ikea. They have a nursing mothers room and yet some lady refused to use it and instead sat on a couch display and then it became a whole issue. Sometimes I feel like people are just trying to make a statement or ask for an issue.

gymnst1013 · December 2011

Pockety:
My unpopular opinion is that I am firmly against a woman's right to "whip it out" uncovered, wherever she wants. I don't think it is a baby's right to eat wherever they happen to be when they get hungry. They can wait 5 minutes to get somewhere more private, cleaner, more relaxing. I don't judge women whose babies are crying; I do judge women who make breastfeeding into an "issue" to fight about. Just do what you need to do, in a way that what you do doesn't have to affect others. Just like I wouldn't take my baby to a movie or quiet, fancy restaurant if I wasn't absolutely certain he wouldn't disturb others, I wouldn't whip out my boob in the middle of Target if I couldn't be discreet about it.

See, the thing is, NIP doesn't have to involve "whipping out a boob". I've never been fully exposed while NIP. In fact I can practically guarantee that no one has seen a thing even though I don't use a cover.

Pockety · December 2011

gymnst1013:
Pockety:
My unpopular opinion is that I am firmly against a woman's right to "whip it out" uncovered, wherever she wants. I don't think it is a baby's right to eat wherever they happen to be when they get hungry. They can wait 5 minutes to get somewhere more private, cleaner, more relaxing. I don't judge women whose babies are crying; I do judge women who make breastfeeding into an "issue" to fight about. Just do what you need to do, in a way that what you do doesn't have to affect others. Just like I wouldn't take my baby to a movie or quiet, fancy restaurant if I wasn't absolutely certain he wouldn't disturb others, I wouldn't whip out my boob in the middle of Target if I couldn't be discreet about it.
See, the thing is, NIP doesn't have to involve "whipping out a boob". I've never been fully exposed while NIP. In fact I can practically guarantee that no one has seen a thing even though I don't use a cover.

Gym, I agree with you! I think NIP is fine if it's discreet. What the women did who were protesting the Target incident, though, is they went to Target and did, in fact, "whip it out" for all to see, because it's their "right" to do so. I'm all for BF, but I don't think it's their "right" to expose themselves in public; they can easily be discreet. They were just putting on a show, in order to make a statement.

Don't make a statement, just feed your kid.

gymnst1013 · December 2011

Pockety:
gymnst1013:
Pockety:
My unpopular opinion is that I am firmly against a woman's right to "whip it out" uncovered, wherever she wants. I don't think it is a baby's right to eat wherever they happen to be when they get hungry. They can wait 5 minutes to get somewhere more private, cleaner, more relaxing. I don't judge women whose babies are crying; I do judge women who make breastfeeding into an "issue" to fight about. Just do what you need to do, in a way that what you do doesn't have to affect others. Just like I wouldn't take my baby to a movie or quiet, fancy restaurant if I wasn't absolutely certain he wouldn't disturb others, I wouldn't whip out my boob in the middle of Target if I couldn't be discreet about it.
See, the thing is, NIP doesn't have to involve "whipping out a boob". I've never been fully exposed while NIP. In fact I can practically guarantee that no one has seen a thing even though I don't use a cover.
Gym, I agree with you! I think NIP is fine if it's discreet. What the women did who were protesting the Target incident, though, is they went to Target and did, in fact, "whip it out" for all to see, because it's their "right" to do so. I'm all for BF, but I don't think it's their "right" to expose themselves in public; they can easily be discreet. They were just putting on a show, in order to make a statement.
Don't make a statement, just feed your kid.

Oh gotcha! Sorry, I misunderstood

Birdies08 · December 2011

Pockety:
My unpopular opinion is that I am firmly against a woman's right to "whip it out" uncovered, wherever she wants. I don't think it is a baby's right to eat wherever they happen to be when they get hungry. They can wait 5 minutes to get somewhere more private, cleaner, more relaxing. I don't judge women whose babies are crying; I do judge women who make breastfeeding into an "issue" to fight about. Just do what you need to do, in a way that what you do doesn't have to affect others. Just like I wouldn't take my baby to a movie or quiet, fancy restaurant if I wasn't absolutely certain he wouldn't disturb others, I wouldn't whip out my boob in the middle of Target if I couldn't be discreet about it.

I'm sorry, but I disagree. It is absolutely a baby's right to eat when it is hungry. I agree about not taking babies to the movies or fancy restaurants, but I have to leave the house sometimes, and my baby has to eat. Most of the time I do find a quiet place to sit, but I never use a cover. If I end up exposed (which I'm sure accidentally happens every now and again), it should not be an issue. And if, for whatever reason, I chose not to wait and find a quiet spot (which also happens), that should not be an issue either. There isn't always a perfect nursing place within 5 minutes of me. Also, my nursing only needs to affect others if they make an issue of it. I don't think it's the nursing moms who are causing drama over this. It's the people who have to turn a 100% natural and legal action into a scandal.

I agree that, nursing mother or not, people don't need to rudely make a spectacle of it, but I have never seen that kind of behavior from a nursing mom, and I would not classify simply feeding your baby uncovered as you shop as making a spectacle. Walking around with no shirt, squirting milk at passersby is a spectacle. Feeding your baby, no matter where you are and no matter how much of your breast is revealed, is not.

Personally, I am always confused as to why there is debate on the issue. Women are allowed to NIP. I don't get all the controversy over it.

11kacey · December 2011

Pretty sure this event happened in Houston, not Chicago. I am a part of the fb page and have read her story numerous times. It was later in the evening and it was NOT busy from what I recall. Her baby was crying and she needed to feed him. She has had issues in the past where she has gone into the fitting rooms only to come out and find her cart gone or the items returned. She found an area that was not busy and sat down to nurse.

Would I just plop myself down to nurse Molly on the floor of Target? No, but that is because I need back support when I feed her. I also wouldn't go into a dressing room, but rather the cafe.

Regardless of her reasons, the employees were rude, both at the store and when she called customer service.

My friends participated in the nurse-in and ALL were very discreet. I cannot get Molly to latch properly w/out helping her and using a cover really hurts this, plus she hates the cover. I tend to try my hardest to get my nipple in her mouth as fast as possible and then cover from any exposing skin. Do I try and nurse in public? Nope, but many times it is unavoidable.

bookkitten · December 2011

Birdies08:
Pockety:

My unpopular opinion is that I am firmly against a woman's right to "whip it out" uncovered, wherever she wants. I don't think it is a baby's right to eat wherever they happen to be when they get hungry. They can wait 5 minutes to get somewhere more private, cleaner, more relaxing. I don't judge women whose babies are crying; I do judge women who make breastfeeding into an "issue" to fight about. Just do what you need to do, in a way that what you do doesn't have to affect others. Just like I wouldn't take my baby to a movie or quiet, fancy restaurant if I wasn't absolutely certain he wouldn't disturb others, I wouldn't whip out my boob in the middle of Target if I couldn't be discreet about it.

I'm sorry, but I disagree. It is absolutely a baby's right to eat when it is hungry. I agree about not taking babies to the movies or fancy restaurants, but I have to leave the house sometimes, and my baby has to eat. Most of the time I do find a quiet place to sit, but I never use a cover. If I end up exposed (which I'm sure accidentally happens every now and again), it should not be an issue. And if, for whatever reason, I chose not to wait and find a quiet spot (which also happens), that should not be an issue either. There isn't always a perfect nursing place within 5 minutes of me. Also, my nursing only needs to affect others if they make an issue of it. I don't think it's the nursing moms who are causing drama over this. It's the people who have to turn a 100% natural and legal action into a scandal.

I agree that, nursing mother or not, people don't need to rudely make a spectacle of it, but I have never seen that kind of behavior from a nursing mom, and I would not classify simply feeding your baby uncovered as you shop as making a spectacle. Walking around with no shirt, squirting milk at passersby is a spectacle. Feeding your baby, no matter where you are and no matter how much of your breast is revealed, is not.

Personally, I am always confused as to why there is debate on the issue. Women are allowed to NIP. I don't get all the controversy over it.

All of this. Also, I hate the term "whip it out." I do not "whip" my breasts anywhere when I feed my child. Believe it or not, my focus is on making sure he eats, not on waving my tatas in the faces of passerby.

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