Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
mamatobe2012
member
Re: Small Breasts affect BFing?
absolutely, positively no effect. Your breasts will get larger when milk comes in, of course. However, the milk is released on demand during nursing mostly. It's not like you have two ziplocs under the surface that can only get so full. Further, your breast size will have NO bearing on amount being produced. Your body will simply increase demand if LO begins sucking it all out. The days of our parents saying "I couldnt produce enough milk to keep up!" Are just simply no more. We've PROVEN this theory wrong. Just stick with it.
I was a small b cup before DD. I went to a D cup when I nursed. After a 60 pound weight loss I went down to a full C cup. Now I am back to a D cup and expect to be a DD or larger once my milk comes in this time.
Check out the la leche league for more information, or even the breast feeding boards here.You should read up a bit more so you understand the mechanics of breast feeding before LO gets here.
i've heard that the size does not affect the ability at all. im small chested and managed to make plenty up until i went back to work from maternity leave at 7 weeks.
(note after reading the first poster) - my milk decreased due to not being able to pump enough - it didnt just crash on its own or anything. just wanted to throw that in there
Thanks for adding the clarification for future readers. I am a champion of BF-ing and have helped many a new mom make it work in the past 24 months. Nothing gets under my skin worse than the un-educated mothers who say, "I tried, really I did. I wanted to do it.. my milk just never came in." or "I just couldnt make enough" Because it's flat out just not true. I'd rather hear, "I wanted to do it, but it hurt. It took too much time." Im OK with that honesty. BF-ing isnt for everyone. It's VERY hard for working mothers and I respect the hell out of power pumpers- I could never do that myself. Honestly, if mom is happy, baby is happy, and baby is gaining weight then you're making the right choice- be that breast, formula or a combination. But don't blame your body.
Thanks Ladies!
This is my first and my mother had told me that she didn't produce enough milk with me (granted that was the early 80s when formula seemed to be in) which makes me worry that I won't (because I really want to BF exclusively). Also, I was an A before I got pregnant and now I'm maybe a large A, and on a good day a small B! So I was just wondering if that is a sign that I'm not going to produce enough.
I have my breastfeeding class in 2 weeks at the hospital so I'm sure I can ask more questions there. I just wanted to hear everyone's experiences. Thanks again!
www.theclothmenagerie.com
Sorry if I seemed agressive, it's just a passion of mine.
The only thing than can stop you from ebf, is YOU. even if you have to switch to pumping, it is doable. Just really hard from what I understand. We ebf- until 8 months and bf-ed until 15 months. To me, there is no better way to bond. Good luck. If you ever want or need tips, feel free to pm me.
I completely agree. My friend had the same excuse when her real issue was relying on formula when she should have been nursing or pumping to keep her body producing milk....no wonder her supply tanked. She's not the one to ever open up a book and research anything so it's hard to blame her lack of knowledge. I'm not going to be there to constantly hold her hand and act like, 'Miss Know-it-All' when it comes to child raising.
HA! Good to know, makes me appreciate my small boobs!
www.theclothmenagerie.com
I tried pumping and bfing for over a month and I never had a proper supply to feed my babies - both times. I tried to bf when they were hungry and pumped every hour or two and never got more than an ounce of bm. I wanted BADLY to bf. I worked with lactation consultants and did everything I was supposed to do and had a genuine supply problem - they DO exist, though probably not as much as people say they do. I'm still determined to try again this time.
To OP - small breast don't have any connection to supply
Cambria, Keira, and Bonnie Quinn
PPs are right, breast size has nothing to do with BF ability. There are also very few people whose milk doesn't come in or who don't produce enough. When someone says they weren't making enough, they usually did something to cause it because they went into BF unprepared and uneducated. Chances are they didn't have supportive people around them either and they could have gotten bad advice from nurses and/or pedis too. I was a small B pre-preg and I nursed for 13 months. We had no problems and it was much easier than I expected it to be.
I would really recommend taking a class with your SO and doing some reading so you know what to expect. KellyMom is a good online resource too.
med-free birth x2, breastfeeding, baby wearing SAHM
My BFP Chart
Nope, no effect whatsoever. I am pretty small chested and nursed DD for 19 months.
I agree with the pp about Kellymom- it's an amazing resource. Bookmark it for all of your BFing questions!
Breast size has nothing to do with how much milk you produce, so don't let that worry you.
Breastfeeding advocates will say you will produce how much you need; however, I'm not so sure about that because I sure never could and I tried everything (schedules, pumping after and in between, herbal teas, consultations with specialists, etc) and couldn't get my supply up there. I just did the best I could and was happy with myself for doing that. I breastfed until 2 months into this pregnancy because the baby no longer liked the taste (it does taste different) and my supply took even more of a nose dive with the pregnancy hormones.
Big or small, it doesn't make a difference. However, there is some additional logistics involved when youre breasts are larger where smaller breast-ed ladies have the advantage. My friends and I agree, it's easier to make the "hamburger" (smush boobs into hamburger shape to fit in a NB's mouth) with smaller breasts than with larger - makes for a potentially easier latch. In any case, seek qualified advice and good luck.
ETA: And FTR there is a huge difference between being passionate about a cause and being self righteous and accusatory.
You do sound aggressive here. And uneducated. I hope that you never learn the hard truths about BFing/Pumping when circumstances go awry. Please get your head out of your a$$.
Sorry if I seem aggressive here, educating uninformed know-it-alls is a passion of mine.
All of this. There are actually women who do everything right and they still can't produce enough. People with your attitude make them feel even lower than they already do.
OP, as stated, breast size has nothing to do with supply. HOWEVER, it's not as simple as some would make it. Just because some people have a great BF experience does not mean anyone else will. Educate yourself, find IRL support whether it's your mom, LC or a BF group. I wish you an easy time, but better to be prepared, just in case.
We nursed for 3 weeks before I just couldn't handle the pain of DD's bad latch (and if 3 LC's, pedi & various nurses couldn't do anything to correct it...). I EP'd for 3 months before choosing to hold onto my sanity and switch to formula. FWIW, In the beginning, when I was nursing, I had to supplement about once or twice a week because I wasn't producing enough. When I went to pumping, I did several "power pumping" sessions to boost my supply and was finally able to keep up with her.
Life with Blog
I know women, some who have had breast reductions, who simply could not produce enough milk, It happens and it's not the end of the world. There are PLENTY of other ways to bond with your baby besides breasfeeding. I breastfed for six months and had to switch to formula because I was not making enough milk to satisfy DD. She needed to nurse all the time and for long stretches and I started to feel suffocated, restrained, and smothered by my decision to nurse. It caused me to suffer from PPD. Soon after I quit nursing I was finally able to relax as DD was happier and more satisfied with her feedings. It wasn't an all day long battle any longer. She started sleeping 12-13 hours at night and napping better during the day. The symptoms of PPD went away and I was a new person! I am all for nursing, but I DO NOT stand by and let anyone make women feel guilty if it's not working for them. You really need to take it down a notch. Nursing is not the be all, end all. Has anyone come knocking on your door doing a study of who was breastfed or bottle fed and where they are now? I haven't heard of it. I don't look at someone who is not close to their mom and immediately think...Jeez, I bet she wasn't breasfed as a child, she doesn't seem to be bonded to her mom. I don't pick friends based on whether they were nursed or not, I don't hire people based on whether they were nursed or not. It's not something that comes up later in life, because it doesn't really matter! And as far as all the benefits of nursing go, my brother and I were breasfed and we both suffer from terrible allergies, I have serious digestive issues, he always had ear infections as a kid, and these are all things that are supposed to be avoidable by nursing your baby...or so the propaganda would have you believe. Plain and simply, it doesn't matter how a child is fed, as long as they are fed and the feeding method is working for Mom/Dad and baby.
Uh YEP! She sounds like a know-it-all-snot. Of my three children, two of which were NICU babies, my middle daughter was great at nursing. My son had reflux issues and could not keep anything down, wouldn't latch right and my youngest was a 6 week early preemie who had latch issues and fell asleep during her feedings and wouldn't take in enough breas milk.
Palmtree, your comments are offensive to women who are pro-nursing and it didn't work out. You would do well to restrict your comments to your experiences instead of blaming other mothers for theirs.
You want honesty? You're an insensitive tool, and I feel sorry for your friends or anyone else who is subjected to your horrible opinion. You should not be allowed to help any new mother if that is what you think.
Asshat.
I agree with everyone that you sound like a self righteous, uneducated little twat. F you, seriously. I BF successfully for 10 months until my period decided to show up. My supply took a drastic drop. I went back to work after 6wks and was able to pump every 2 hours at work, that's 4 times a day. That's a lot of pumping and a lot of dedication. I nursed my son as soon as he woke up, as soon as I got home and whenever the hell he wanted throughout the night. Finally after my period confirmed it's presence, my supply completely dried up. Despite me upping my pumping to 5-6 times a day while at work, taking every damn supplement that exists, and eating all the right foods and staying healthy, it did in fact dry up. Who the F are you to tell women that "YOU" are the reason to blame for failing at BFing. STFU.
I couldn't have said it any better myself. Breastfeeding is hard work. And women, like you, who shame those who have a difficult time with it are seriously the lowest of the low.
Yep. Palmtreethundercunt = ignorant insensitive biitch.
Nope! I was an A cup before. Still am an A cup (maybe I was a small B during the height of BF). I made an insane amount of milk, I ended up donating 1,000 oz to the NICU, I had so much in the freezer.
So no, being a small boobied woman alone will not affect whether you make milk!
I also have a friend who was a DD before baby and is quite large now- maybe an E or an F and she also makes plenty of milk. We were both EBF for 6 months, and still BF now (our babies are a week apart). I kind of think it was a little easier to position my own son than she was able to position hers, because she had a lot of boob to work around, but that has nothing to do with the amount of milk she made!
Good luck!! Definitely use the LCs on hand at the hospital and at any support groups you can find!
To the OP - I think you're question has been answered. Small boobies will work quite well for BFing.
To Pamtreedumba$$rex - Who the are you to be blaming other people for their BFing difficulties? BFing is wonderful and amazing but not easy. Let's see....I had twins, they were a bit early so bad latch. I started pumping the day they were born. (After having Reglan). My supply was crap. I was eating and drinking plenty. Doing Mother's Milk, oatmeal and anything else that would help. I stayed up after nursing and did power hours. Every day for two months. My supply was still awful for two babies. Then I got a lovely breast abscess that ended up requiring a minor excision of breast tissue. And that is what it took to stop me from trying.
So in short, you don't know wtf you are talking about. Have a nice day!
My mom was unable to produce enough milk for any of her three children. She was also a nurse in the newborn nursery of a hospital and helped show/teach new moms how to breastfeed. So the whole "uneducated mother" theory doesn't really work in her case. Honestly, it's really horrible to blame women if they are unable to breastfeed for some reason. There's enough guilt and worry for new moms without someone telling them that an inability to feed their child in the "ideal" way is all their fault.
I don't care how you feed your baby. I was a B prior to delivery and I manged to breast feed.
I think too many harsh comments are being sent palmtree's way. Sure, there are people who struggle with supply. There are some women who cannot physically breastfeed.
However, there are A LOT, A LOT, A LOT of women out there saying "I had a low supply" when truly, they didn't. They had poor information, they had doctor's who didn't have solutions to offer them, they weren't knowledgeable enough, they didn't have ample time to establish a good supply, they had jobs that required them to return to work too soon, they didn't realize how time consuming breastfeeding can be, whatever. The goto solution becomes I couldn't breastfeed.
I agree with her statement, if it doesn't work for you, just say so. I'm not gonna judge you. Feed your kid. But I think it's insulting to women who DO make it work to act like it's not an accomplishment, that it's just luck of the draw, well your body could and mine couldn't. It takes time and effort. I don't know your story, only you do, just say, didn't work for us and move on.
I'm sorry, are we reading the same thread? I don't think anyone said that it was "Luck of the Draw". We all KNOW it takes effort, that's what we're saying.
As for Palmtree's statements, let's see:
The days of our parents saying "I couldnt produce enough milk to keep up!" Are just simply no more. We've PROVEN this theory wrong.
Nothing gets under my skin worse than the un-educated mothers who say, "I tried, really I did. I wanted to do it.. my milk just never came in." or "I just couldnt make enough" Because it's flat out just not true.
But don't blame your body.
The only thing than can stop you from ebf, is YOU.
Those statements are complete and utter BS and what everyone is flaming her for.
Apologies for the formatting. My computer must be annoyed as well.
Life with Blog
*Hugs* Don't feel upset. You obviously tried your hardest and obviously love your DS very much. That is what matters. I BF-ed for 3 months and it didn't work out, I think it was the pumping/changing work schedules that did it. I was exclusively pumping plus supplementing because I couldn't pump enough. Soon when I pumped it was just very tiny amounts (like 1 oz).
Your LO will still do great on formula and at least you gave it your best shot. There is nothing to feel guilty or upset about.
You go OctGirl!
Amen. Some women's bodies don't let them BF and it's devastating for them. Shame on anyone who wants to make them feel worse about it.
Here's the thing I think some folks are missing: I'm not saying all women who say they have a low supply are liars, or are making it up, or whatever. I'm saying that SOME women use it as an reason when it isn't true for them. I think some DOCTORS tell women they have a low supply because the doctor's themselves aren't informed enough about breastfeeding to provide support and help.
My purpose in making this post isn't to make anyone feel bad. YOU know your situation. If you gave it your best and it didn't work, then don't harbor guilt for it and don't let some random internet stranger make you feel bad.
HOWEVER- I want new moms who've never breastfed to know that there can be LOTS of challenges to breastfeeding. If you want to breastfeed and you hit a stumbling block, seek out help. My pediatrician told me repeatedly he thought my supply was low. My OB told me yeah, looks like it's just not going to work. I got some other support, I exclusively breastfed past a year. I don't want new moms to come on here and go, wow lots of women can't breastfeed because they don't make enough and start worrying about it and be unsuccessful. I want all moms to reach their goals, whatever they are.It's people like you that made me bawl my eyes out after trying for MONTHS to BF my son, by the way. I've accepted it now, but please stop spewing your BF-nazi crap.
I went to multiple LCs at the hospital, worked with LLL, and finally was referred to a feeding disorder specialist because my son didn't latch. I EP'd for 6 months before my supply tanked and I had to quit. I tried everything to keep my supply up - fenugreek, skin to skin, power pumping - but ultimately the pump was not as efficient as a nursing baby, period. I cried every time I even thought about switching to formula because idiots like you tell women that it it THEIR fault that they can't BF.
I wore a C pre- 1st pregnancy. My breasts didn't get big until my milk came in. I nursed for 14 1/2 months until my DD self-weaned.
www.kellymom.com is an EXCELLENT resource.