MoMs-I need financial/anxiety advice

kiwi625 · December 2011

Hi ladies. Hope you all had a great Christmas Smile I'll try to be brief:

The first two weeks after finding out we were having twins was exhilarating. I was giddy and had trouble falling asleep every night because of my excitement. Now a month later, I'm starting to feel like the world is on my shoulders. I'm doing really well not actively worrying, but like I said, I feel like so much is hanging over my head.

I'm a little stressed about work. I am a flight medic, which requires lifting and being able to fit into the seat belts in the helicopter. Of course carrying two, my ability to do those could end more quickly now. I will have two weeks vacation built up in April. My company does not have Mat Leave, just Short Term Disability, for 11 weeks. After that there is Long Term Disability, but recently my manager warned me that unfortunately most people who have gone on LTD, have had to reapply for their job. I carry the health insurance for our family... If I have to go on bed rest or just not work, I could very quickly burn through that 13 weeks of leave.

Also, I'm feeling financially stretched right now. We will pay off a loan in Feb and another in March. That will give us another $480/month, which is great, but I feel like since we've been blessed with two babies I need a plan! I went grocery shopping the other day and spent $80, on hardly one meal and some snacks... I'm not a great budgeter, and we have never planned weekly menus/shopped with coupons. I feel like planning menus will be a life saver when the babies get here. I also feel like our budget needs to get whipped into shape now in order for me to be able to let go of some of this stress. We need to learn to be more frugal.

I know it will all "work itself out" but I need a game plan. Advice? Do you plan menus and shop with coupons? Thank you for reading if you're still with me, and thank you in advance for the advice!

Edited because I left out a word.

JosiePosy · December 2011

It depends on your lifestyle and a number of other things. What are you doing for daycare? Do you want to BF or FF? Have you joined a local MoM club? Are you going to cloth diaper?

There are thousands of ways to save money. It just depends on your needs. There is no better time to set up a budget IMO. We spend 1/4 of our income of just daycare alone. The rest goes to the mortgage and all of our other bills.

The first thing you need to do is track your spending for a month or so. See where you need to cut the fat. See where you can improve. Having it written out in front of you on paper makes it much easier to develop a budget.

kiwi625 · December 2011

Great questions.

I had planned on pumping, but now with further reading I realized I shouldn't assume I will solely pump. So I will BF/pump. As far as childcare, we are just now looking into that. I read a reply on this board recently about how in their situation a nanny is cheaper. This sparked an idea for us, so we will be looking into that as well. Our schedule is very unorthodox (we both work rotating, 24 hour shifts and have to leave the house earlier than most centers are open.) We will need childcare in the mornings on days one parent is going to work and the other is coming home (there's about an hour gap), and about 4 times a month for an entire day when our schedules overlap. I feel like a day care center would be less cost effective because we would have to commit to a lot more time than we actually need. We probably will not cloth diaper. Thus far, I haven't found a MoM club locally which I'm disappointed about.

The ladies on my BMB suggested using Mint.Com, so I'm in the process of starting that. I know our biggest money drain is food. We grocery shop for a couple things all the time, instead of planning what we will need and going once/twice a week. That and we eat out all the time. I think my biggest challenge will be spending grocery money wisely without MH and I feeling like we're eating cheap tasting food all the time.

Since you use daycare, do you mind me asking-do they charge you full price for each child, or do they give a discount after one child?

kelliwill · December 2011

I don't have a lot of advice about the time off work thing but I hope it all works out for you. BFing didn't work for us, so sadly we spent a ton on formula because at first the girls were on Neosure which is pricey! Hopefully that won't happen to you/ BF is very cost efficient, but if it doesn't work out, we used Costco brand formula when they were off the neosure and it worked great. Also which pregnant we stocked up on diapers and wipes so we had a bunch after they were born. We bought cheap cribs from IKEA ($99 each) and matresses from Walmart on sale, and we used my childhood dresser. We also bought a lot of used things of craigslist including a glider chair. I try to budget as much as I can, but I'll be honest I am not that good at it. I find that if I make a menu for the week and stick to it then I do better. We eat out less, and I buy a lot less stuff for me. For clothes for kids I buy online on thredup or the MOM's of multiple sale page on facebook. You can get great stuff. If you cut back now it won't be such a shock when the babies come. GL!

JosiePosy · December 2011

We do use a nanny because the best rate for two infants I could find was $400/week at a center. Definitely out of our budget. We spend $250/week right now and hope to give her a raise soon.

TaylorandMel · December 2011

I am an RN also pregnant with twins. Do to some bleeding issues early on, my high risk MD took me out of work since 6 weeks! I thought I would be able to return to work after the bleeding stopped, but that wasn't the case. She said that they would take me out of work at 24 weeks anyways due to having a fast paced/ stressful job, so there was no point in me returning at that time. I too carry the health insurance, and had to wait 4 months and use up all my FMLA without pay until my LTD started. Soon I will have to pay for Cobra insurance out of pocket, and will owe my work money for insurance when I return back to work for the time during my FMLA leave. Luckily, I am in the union, so they have to hold my job for me 1 year.

I hope everything works out for you, but this is life, and I just wanted to prepare you for some of the unexpected. Even though this pregnancy is not going the way we thought it would, we are so happy to be having these babies!

kafunder · December 2011

I don't have a ton of advice, but I suggest lurking and/or posting on the Money Matters board. They have lots of money advice, particularly after the holidays when lots of people probably will post their budgets/start making resolutions to get more money savvy.

kelliwill · December 2011

TaylorandMel:
I am an RN also pregnant with twins. Do to some bleeding issues early on, my high risk MD took me out of work since 6 weeks! I thought I would be able to return to work after the bleeding stopped, but that wasn't the case. She said that they would take me out of work at 24 weeks anyways due to having a fast paced/ stressful job, so there was no point in me returning at that time. I too carry the health insurance, and had to wait 4 months and use up all my FMLA without pay until my LTD started. Soon I will have to pay for Cobra insurance out of pocket, and will owe my work money for insurance when I return back to work for the time during my FMLA leave. Luckily, I am in the union, so they have to hold my job for me 1 year.
I hope everything works out for you, but this is life, and I just wanted to prepare you for some of the unexpected. Even though this pregnancy is not going the way we thought it would, we are so happy to be having these babies!

Very true. I had planned to work up until 28 weeks but was placed out of work at 24. And I have a sit down job (Im a Psychologist). I was able to take 9 mos off (most w/out pay) and walked back into my job. But Im also union. I have heard of nurses and other standing type jobs being off earlier due to the demands on their body.

missfire · December 2011

The first year has felt so expensive to me! For baby stuff, buy as much stuff used as you can find, and splurge on things that are really important to you. They grow out of clothes so fast that mine have only gotten to wear each of their nice outfits once or twice! The consignment sales happen in spring and fall, and there are always tons of baby clothes in great condition. Swings, bouncers etc are good to buy used too, since you don't use them long.

We bought crib/changing table/mattress bundles from Walmart.com and had them delivered to the store for free shopping - it cost less for all 6 pieces than my DS1's crib itself cost at Babies R Us, and they are working out great.

Target generic formula is half the cost of Similac, too, which really adds up. On Similac, mine go through $12 of formula a day right now, about $400 a month. Breastfeeding would have been awesome, but unfortunately didn't work out.

The KrazyCouponLady.com site is awesome for finding good deals and figuring out when to stock up on things. It takes a lot of time to be as good at it as a lot of people on that site, but little changes still help.

I have to say that luck has really been the biggest help for us this year. We were really freaked out about the added expenses and especially having to buy a bigger car. I ended up getting laid off of work a few weeks earlier than I was hoping to go on maternity leave, and the severance let us pay a big down payment on our minivan. A month ago when sleep deprivation and postpartum depression really started taking a toll on me, my husband got an unexpected bonus that let us put the babies in part-time daycare so I could get some rest and start catching up around the house. I'm really in shock at how the universe seems to be helping us care for these babies that it decided we were able to handle in the first place!! I hope some of that luck heads your direction too.

kiwi625 · December 2011

Thank you so much ladies. All of your advice, words of encouragement and even the "fair warnings" have been really helpful. I really appreciate you taking time to first read my novel, and then to give input. I got to talk with my husband after he got home last night and it really helped. He let me cry it out, was receptive to my concerns about our spending habits and agreed with a lot of your advice. He was the first to stress out after we found out we were having twins. I think yesterday it was just my turn. I figured it would happen eventually, haha. I signed up on Mint.Com yesterday and am in the process of getting it set up. I'll check out Money Matters as well. I don't really poke around TN/TB much other than my BMB and now this board, so I wasn't aware there was a board like that. Thank you again!

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