Not military but... — The Bump
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Not military but...

I'm not military but my husband works a job that he's away more than he is home. One of those jobs where the time of year, births, even planned vacation are made to take a back seat. (He missed DS's birth and may family vacations.) But... um... may I join you ladies? He's not home for Christmas and I'm having a really hard time with it. I thought that out of anyone, you guys may understand my stress. How do you guys do it????

I Do! 05/01/10 ~ Little Man 04/07/10 ~ Baby Girl 03/25/12 ~ MC (blighted ovum) @ 7wk 0d 12/29/13

Re: Not military but...

  • Of course you're welcome to join us!  

    My H hasn't had to miss too many big events, though he's almost always working at least part of the day on major holidays.  We realized last week that today is the fist Christmas he's had completely off since we've been married (going on 9 years).  When he is gone for a long time I find ways to keep me and the kids busy, and always get out of the house at least once on any day he's not home.  We do crafts, play games, and have webcam chats whenever possible with H and our extended family.   It does get lonely, which is hardest this time of year, but it usually helps a bit to remember that everything is temporary.

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  • I feel for you.  DH was deployed half of the first 3 years of our marriage but then he was considered undeployable because of his health and I'm so grateful.  I'm sorry he's gone but welcome!

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  • Of course you are welcome.  I'm sorry you are having a tough time right now.  I try to stay as busy as possible when H is gone.  We Skype and email a lot.  It helps. 
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  • I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I'm right there with you. For the most part, I'm usually OK,  but I've been pretty low for the past week. This is our first deployment as a married couple and it's been hard to get through the major holidays and our anniversary alone. I wish I had some magic tips to make it all better, but truthfully there will be times when you thrive and times when you miss him like crazy. I try to keep my life as normal as possible. I try keep busy with family and friends when I can and I use this quiet time to work on projects that I usually don't have time for. It seems that when I'm living as an individual lots of time opens up and, for my sanity, I need to fill it.  We are not able to Skype, but we email almost daily, or at least 5x a week, and I get a phone call about once a week. Try to keep busy, but don't be too hard on yourself if you have few bad days here and there. GL
  • I am sorry. My husband is not home for Christmas this year either. It sucks. I just put the kid to bed so I am having a big tub of fudge and a glass of wine. It sucks but you are not alone. 

    How long will your H be gone? 

  • Thanks ladies! He works in the oil field as a geologist, so we never know how long he'll be gone for. It could be a few weeks, it could be 4 months. And it can change at a moment's notice.
    I Do! 05/01/10 ~ Little Man 04/07/10 ~ Baby Girl 03/25/12 ~ MC (blighted ovum) @ 7wk 0d 12/29/13
  • Of course you are welcome! DH is deployed right now, so I can sympathize.  It's tough, but I try to stay as busy as possible.  I have a 16 month old, so she helps make time go by faster.  Are you able to talk with him often? It's amazing how a phone call can lift my spirits. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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