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January 2012 Moms
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Am I wrong to be freaking out here?

michnthecitymichnthecity
in January 2012 Moms
SO everyone just left our house, we did all the cooking/hosting of Christmas today.  I cannot stand the fact that I had to tell people to take their damn shoes off.  We have mostly carpeting in our house and I really don't want my child crawling around where they walked with their shoes.  My mother in law wouldn't leave, and when she did, she required a 45 minute ride each way (for us) to her destination.  We fried turkeys this year and they weren't that great for the amount of labor they demanded.  My house is a mess, and don't get me started on the bathroom.  I don't understand why people think that they can piss all over the place just because they aren't home.  My morbidly obese mother in law broke one of our leather chairs because it couldn't hold her weight.  This is the last year we host Christmas.  The amount of work this has entailed on my 9 month pregnant self is just about all I can take, and both my husband and I busted our arses to get this done.  And it wasn't even fun.  And to think, I was looking forward to today, being pregnant, last Christmas before the baby....you can keep it. 
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Re: Am I wrong to be freaking out here?

  • lp0lp0 member
    I'm sorry you didn't enjoy your holiday. Family can be tough and it's even worst when you're tired and uncomfortable. I feel your pain, my mother in law is one of the most obnoxious people to be around let alone have over for a holiday. She is always late and does not lift a finger to help serve or clean up. She is incredibly loud which gives you a splitting headache and refuses to let anyone finish a sentence. She also never knows when to leave. Then to make matters worst, her very presence puts dh in a horrible mood and then we end up arguing. But she's family so we deal with it.
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  • SuperDuperGirl23SuperDuperGirl23 member
    I'm sorry you didn't enjoy your Christmas. I'm trying to think of it as one more holiday that you don't have to worry about for another year. And I noticed that your ticker says you're at the 35/35 landmark, so you're that much closer. And at that point, none of this will matter at all. 
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  • AugustSkyeAugustSkye member

    You should pat yourself on the back for hosting Christmas at your place, at all. My dad asked me last week if I was cooking Christmas dinner and all I could do was laught at him like he had lost his mind. LOL.

    I completely understand why you're upset! I am a clean freak and it would bother the CRAP out of me to have people leaving everything in my home un-orderly. Haha. As for the pissy bathroom thing, gross. And as for the chair thing, I'm SO sorry. I would be furious!

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  • star173star173 member

    Is your child here, crawling around? You guys can vacuum in the next couple months, right...because he/she is not going to be crawling right away.

    I get being big pregnant and having to host something- it's a ton of work, but you seem to have super high expectations of those around you. Did you not know your MIL would need a ride? Do you think she broke the chair on purpose? (not that it doesn't suck about the chair, but I'm pretty sure that was embarrassing for her)

    My house is always a mess after we host a party. I'm sure it sucks to have to deal with the hosting and the cleaning, but did you honestly not expect that?

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  • michnthecitymichnthecity
    Perhaps my expectations were a bit unrealistic, I probably didn't realize how hard it would be at 35w.  I woke in the middle of the night in pain!  My whole body aches :(  Nothing a little couch time and leftovers won't cure :)   It was probably embarrassing for mil to break the chair, but honestly I don't feel bad.  Maybe it's a sign...
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  • mrs.larrymrs.larry member

    we hosted too. it's so much work... suddenly I'm thinking 3.5 hours in the car each way would have been WAY less uncomfortable than spending the whole day on my feet cooking and cleaning. Then right before I went to bed I noticed that many of the bigger dishes hadn't been washed (I guess FIL ran out of steam, he offered to do the washing up). WTF? so I said to DH.... um. you're going to do the rest of the dishes, right? thankfully (for him) he agreed to do it. because seriously. I'd cooked all damn day....

    all day, that is, except when MIL took over the kitchen to make a HUGE (unplanned) lunch. And then during dinner when DS wasn't eating much she told me how he ate this enormous lunch that she'd made and I wanted to punch her in the face.

    having an emotional hair-trigger is never a good thing, but having a hair trigger while hosting christmas is a whole other ball of wax.

    oh and yes. I agree that taking shoes off in the house is a must. but pp is right that you can (and probably should! Wink) vacuum and/or steam clean between now and when LO starts crawling in about 7-8 months. and even though it's policy in our house, I try to acknowledge that it's not policy in a lot of people's homes... so if I have to ask I think that's par for the course. Honestly when there are a lot of people I just stop asking and deal with the clean up. Sad

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  • PsyDr04PsyDr04 member

    It's ok that you're feeling like this. I would feel the same way. Kudos to you for doing all that work. Regardless of whether your expectations were realistic/unrealistic/whatever, everything is so much more of a pain in the ass at this point. We traveled to DH's parents' home for Xmas and MIL and my sis in laws do all the cooking so it's easy for me. Still, it sucked to be in the car 3 hours there and 3 hours back (my feet were sooo swollen when we got home last night).

    If it makes you feel any better, right now I feel like everything gets on my nerves. My body hurts everywhere, I'm tired, I'm ready for this baby to get here. I am already dreading the expectations that people may have of when they can come and see the baby. I need to do things on my time and I have a feeling I'm going to get really bitchy about having my needs and wants respected after LO gets here.

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  • michnthecitymichnthecity
    I think that's a huge part of it, wanting my needs and wants respected after baby Frank arrives.  I feel like if I have to tell people to take off their shoes, what other common sense conversations will I have to have with them?  Of course I plan on vacuuming before the baby comes, I vacuum every other day, haha.  I'm getting obsessive about it....
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  • HuahineHuahine member
    Taking off shoes as common sense? Maybe in some cultures, but not in the US.  If you want people to remove their shoes then you need to ask.  And if they don't, you need to let it go, for your own peace of mind.  A lot of people aren't comfortable standing around in their socks or bare feet.  If you are serious about it, then you should provide a shoe rack and slippers at the door.
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