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If anyone just had a new baby..

GoombaGirl_79GoombaGirl_79
in Toddlers: 24 Months+

How is your older LO reacting? How are you finding a balance between playing with your toddler and caring for your newborn (esp. if BF)?

It's only been 2 weeks for us but so far its going alright. I am just finding I feel guilty not being able to play with DS 1 as much as I used to. He is getting a lot of "daddy time" at least since DH took a few weeks off work, but I know he misses mom. I'm trying to explain to him why mommy needs to help the new baby (and trying to find ways for him to help too), and also trying to make a little time each day to play with him too.   I'm just feeling daunted about when DH goes back to work!

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Re: If anyone just had a new baby..

  • BrewtowngrlBrewtowngrl member
    DH took 2 weeks off and he loved his daddy time.  After that DS2 got into a rhythm and better at BFing so it was easier to balance.  Since DS2 slept a lot I still had time to spend with DS1.  
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  • kattyleighkattyleigh member
    Well just like everyone probably tells you, it gets better! We are six months in and now that DS is sitting independently and playing with toys, it is great. Just the other day I caught DD trying to teach DS sign language. Melted my heart. I think it took about a month after DS was born, for DD to fall in love with him. She asks for him first thing in the morning, loves tickling him, helps feed him, shares her toys. Hang in there because there will always be ups and downs, especially in the beginning, but it just gets better everyday.
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  • GoombaGirl_79GoombaGirl_79

    imagekattyleigh:
    Well just like everyone probably tells you, it gets better! We are six months in and now that DS is sitting independently and playing with toys, it is great. Just the other day I caught DD trying to teach DS sign language. Melted my heart. I think it took about a month after DS was born, for DD to fall in love with him. She asks for him first thing in the morning, loves tickling him, helps feed him, shares her toys. Hang in there because there will always be ups and downs, especially in the beginning, but it just gets better everyday.

    Aw that is adorable! I know it will get better... this is just the adjustment time. But I'm still a bit all over from the hormones etc, maybe a little baby blues..so I keep feeling overwhelmed and sad about DS #1 

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  • Smores730Smores730 member
    I just tried to focus on #1 any time the baby was napping or content. I tried to not be holding the baby at "just because" moments. If he was content, he was in a swing or bouncy chair so that I'd at least appear to not be giving every moment of my attention to the baby.
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  • dragon_chicadragon_chica member
    I've mastered the art of BF-ing AND reading a story at the same time.  Be jealous ladies.
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  • angelina477angelina477 member
    I have to make an effort to include DD into our time. Its easy to get all wrapped up in new baby and BFing. I try to read books with her or just talk to her about what she is playing with. Its hard but I think when DS gets a little more efficient at nursing I will have my hands free to play more.
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  • SailorGraySailorGray member

    imageBrewtowngrl:
    DH took 2 weeks off and he loved his daddy time.  After that DS2 got into a rhythm and better at BFing so it was easier to balance.  Since DS2 slept a lot I still had time to spend with DS1.  

    This exactly. Plus, DS1 is so crazy about his brother and is always "helping." It just works.

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  • SailorGraySailorGray member
    imageGoombaGirl_79:

    imagekattyleigh:
    Well just like everyone probably tells you, it gets better! We are six months in and now that DS is sitting independently and playing with toys, it is great. Just the other day I caught DD trying to teach DS sign language. Melted my heart. I think it took about a month after DS was born, for DD to fall in love with him. She asks for him first thing in the morning, loves tickling him, helps feed him, shares her toys. Hang in there because there will always be ups and downs, especially in the beginning, but it just gets better everyday.

    Aw that is adorable! I know it will get better... this is just the adjustment time. But I'm still a bit all over from the hormones etc, maybe a little baby blues..so I keep feeling overwhelmed and sad about DS #1 

    Oh, this was soooo me, too. I cried a lot out of guilt for DS1. Now I think (hope?) I gave him a great gift of a lifelong best friend. 

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  • AmandaP678AmandaP678 member

    Tim has a love hate relationship with Nick. One minute hes giving hugs and the next he's hitting him. For the most part it's love though. He loves to share his toys with Nick and is very protective of him and has been from day 1.

    In the beginning Tim would act up A LOT when I was BF. I EBF. He still acts up when I'm giving sole attention to Nick though.

    For months and on occasion, he'll still ask 'Who's that" lol In cases it's changed .

    For the most part, once you get an established routine down I think it will get easier. 

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  • amy_rskiamy_rski

    I have a 3 month old and a toddler and it has been ok.  When BF I was bringing them both up to DD's room and DS would play with his bin of old baby toys that we have ready for DD.  He loved playing with the toys.  Occasionally he would read his truck book to himself and ask me every couple pages what each one was.  And he likes his alphabet flash cards.  He'll ask me what each one is and like stacking them up.  It worked out best if I could interact with him a little while BFing.

    I felt the guilt about spending time with DS too, so I made a point to put DD down when she was sleeping so I could play with DS.  And he would tell me to put DD down so he could snuggle and I would (when possible).  I tried to make it 50/50 as much as I could.  It helped too that DS was still going to daycare 3 days a week so I had plenty of bonding time with DD alone.

    Just make sure you give you toddler some one on one time everyday and things will get easier! 

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  • mrsjenniferg2010mrsjenniferg2010 member
    It was a little rough in the beginning. DS likes his little sister now. He does get jealous somedays. When DH is home I try playing with him while DH plays with the baby. If DS wants mommy time while it is just the 3 of us I will have DS bring a book and he will turn the pages as I read. Also another thing I an starting is mommy son day that we go out just us and something fun. We are going to do this everyother month.
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