Ok so I think I am really naive here.. but i have a question in regards to the STD/Cheating post below...
When these people DO cheat WHO do they cheat with? My husband has only been deployed to areas where they are only with fellow military members and never near like civilans. So are these husbands cheating with female military members?
That seems dumb and risky to me, but of course cheating is dumb and risky so...............
Re: Question about Cheating
That would be my guess...
If someone wants to cheat they will find a way. It is just reality.
"My husband has only been deployed to areas where they are only with fellow military members and never near like civilans." - I'm curious, what does your husband do?
At our last duty station overseas, we were part of a small military contingent of about 40 people. Roughly half of those were on unaccompanied tours without their wives and children. Of these, I knew of three people who were cheating on their spouses.
One cheated with a single military member stationed with us, one cheated with another American working for a private company, and the third cheated with a local person.
Regardless of who you cheat with during a deployment, it's always a stupid idea. There are several people more knowledgeable on the subject than I, but I think that no matter what, sex during deployment is never allowed. I knew a married couple who were deployed together and they were not allowed to have sex. In addition, I believe that sleeping with someone other than your spouse is also a UCMJ violation.
But, idiots are idiots and they will always take risks and hope that they don't get caught.
My husband is in the Navy. He is a carrier-based aviator so his deployments have been on a ship. The few instances of cheating in our social circle have been between air crew (female pilots hooking up with male pilots). It is close quarters for long periods of time... Unfortunately, some people are less than faithful .
I know that some cheating happens in port too with random civilians. But IME, it has been more between servicemembers. My BFF is a female pilot and she has a LOT of stories about married co-workers hitting on her while deployed. SHe is very attractive but thankfully would never ever do that.
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Pull up a chair, ladies.
We have two general categories of females who get around in a deployed environment. The first is the Desert Queen. Desert Queens are decent looking, but they don't have to be charming or have any redeeming qualities. They don't even have to be hot. The second category is the 2-10-2. A female who may be a 2 on the hotness scale back home may be perceived as a 10 when downrange, simply due to a shortage of females. When they return home, they quickly regain their status as a 2 because the males have options and an appropriate scale for judging the hotness. The 2-10-2 obviously doesn't have looks going for her, but in the environment that has 2-10-2s, they don't even need to know how to flirt.
Questions?
Simple and honest answer. Also cheating is subject to UMJC. Sadly, cheating usually gets brushed under the rug.
See, Ojo, this is why I love you.
Also, it's UCMJ. And it's because it's very hard to prove. The wording in UCMJ is very specific and causes a lot of issues.
CJ 05/29/2013
The reason it gets swept under the rug is because if the person being cheated on does ask for a divorce it makes sense not to report them because all that will happen is a bust in rank which means less child support for the soon to be ex spouse if they do have kids.
I'm not justifying it in anyway and think there is no excuse for cheating but ya that's why most spouses don't report it.
One of my former friends told me that when he was on a MEU, some Navy female got caught hooking. They opened her foot locker and she had something insane like 25k in it.
Please say some of it was in AAFES pogs.
I so badly want a FB "Like" button for this. So badly.
My husband told me that they are called "deployment doable". :-)
Excuse my typo...My DS was on my lap and fussy. I was typing one handed. I'm also unsure why its UMJC,because I'm 98% positive I typed UCMJ. Thanks for the correction!
/ This.
You have to have 'proof' of the cheating- either a child conceived as a result, video, audio, or explicit emails (maybe there are other forms that can be 'proof' but these are the only ones I know for a fact count as proof).
very well said!
Ditto.
Oh, pogs.
CJ 05/29/2013
Agreed. I've heard quite a few stories about spouses, specifically marine spouses, at home during deployments too and it would be a gross overstatement to assume that marine spouses are all disgusting. I'm sure a fair amount of cheating goes on the world over in all organizations, institutions, etc. It's sad, but vulnerability comes with opening your heart to someone. I absolutely trust MH while he's away and he trusts me. I hate that some people do not respect and honor their vows.
Ditto. I happen to like my unit and it's not disgusting.
CJ 05/29/2013
LOL!
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November 2013 to ??? = On a mental break for now.
yeah i think thats what it is..
DH use to work with someone who wasnt even deployed but caught cheating at work in a trailer/temp building.. classy haha
and SIL is in tech school and was cheating on BIL (while he was deployed). Very classy. lol
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The part I bolded is incorrect. My husband and I were deployed together fro March 2010- March 2011 and we were allowed to not only live together but have sex. Also, if I was to get KU, I couldn't get into trouble. A while ago that wasn't the case. General Order 1 didn't have the amendments that it does now so even married couples couldn't live together.
I agree with the rest of it though, cheating it really stupid regardless of who/where it is. If they are going to cheat, they'll find a way to do it.