Question about Cheating — The Bump
Military Families

Question about Cheating

Ok so I think I am really naive here.. but i have a question in regards to the STD/Cheating post below...

When these people DO cheat WHO do they cheat with? My husband has only been deployed to areas where they are only with fellow military  members and never near like civilans. So are these husbands cheating with female military members?

That seems dumb and risky to me, but of course cheating is dumb and risky so...............

Re: Question about Cheating

  • imageameliadaisy:

    Ok so I think I am really naive here.. but i have a question in regards to the STD/Cheating post below...

    When these people DO cheat WHO do they cheat with? My husband has only been deployed to areas where they are only with fellow military  members and never near like civilans. So are these husbands cheating with female military members?

    That seems dumb and risky to me, but of course cheating is dumb and risky so...............

    That would be my guess...

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  • If someone wants to cheat they will find a way.  It is just reality.

    "My husband has only been deployed to areas where they are only with fellow military  members and never near like civilans." - I'm curious, what does your husband do?

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  • At our last duty station overseas, we were part of a small military contingent of about 40 people. Roughly half of those were on unaccompanied tours without their wives and children. Of these, I knew of three people who were cheating on their spouses.

    One cheated with a single military member stationed with us, one cheated with another American working for a private company, and the third cheated with a local person.

    Regardless of who you cheat with during a deployment, it's always a stupid idea. There are several people more knowledgeable on the subject than I, but I think that no matter what, sex during deployment is never allowed. I knew a married couple who were deployed together and they were not allowed to have sex. In addition, I believe that sleeping with someone other than your spouse is also a UCMJ violation.

    But, idiots are idiots and they will always take risks and hope that they don't get caught.  

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  • My husband is in the Navy.  He is a carrier-based aviator so his deployments have been on a ship.  The few instances of cheating in our social circle have been between air crew (female pilots hooking up with male pilots).  It is close quarters for long periods of time...  Unfortunately, some people are less than faithful :(.

    I know that some cheating happens in port too with random civilians.  But IME, it has been more between servicemembers.  My BFF is a female pilot and she has a LOT of stories about married co-workers hitting on her while deployed.  SHe is very attractive but thankfully would never ever do that. 

    Married 6/28/03

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    No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.

    "Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens

     

  • Pull up a chair, ladies. 

    We have two general categories of females who get around in a deployed environment.  The first is the Desert Queen.  Desert Queens are decent looking, but they don't have to be charming or have any redeeming qualities.  They don't even have to be hot.  The second category is the 2-10-2.  A female who may be a 2 on the hotness scale back home may be perceived as a 10 when downrange, simply due to a shortage of females.  When they return home, they quickly regain their status as a 2 because the males have options and an appropriate scale for judging the hotness.  The 2-10-2 obviously doesn't have looks going for her, but in the environment that has 2-10-2s, they don't even need to know how to flirt. 

    Questions?

    Twin boys due 7/25/12
  • imageMrsOjoButtons:

    Pull up a chair, ladies. 

    We have two general categories of females who get around in a deployed environment.  The first is the Desert Queen.  Desert Queens are decent looking, but they don't have to be charming or have any redeeming qualities.  They don't even have to be hot.  The second category is the 2-10-2.  A female who may be a 2 on the hotness scale back home may be perceived as a 10 when downrange, simply due to a shortage of females.  When they return home, they quickly regain their status as a 2 because the males have options and an appropriate scale for judging the hotness.  The 2-10-2 obviously doesn't have looks going for her, but in the environment that has 2-10-2s, they don't even need to know how to flirt. 

    Questions?

    Yes  Simple and honest answer.  Also cheating is subject to UMJC. Sadly, cheating usually gets brushed under the rug.

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  • Yes. Heard of many people cheating with other military members and spouses with other military members.
  • imageMrsS2203:
    imageMrsOjoButtons:

    Pull up a chair, ladies. 

    We have two general categories of females who get around in a deployed environment.  The first is the Desert Queen.  Desert Queens are decent looking, but they don't have to be charming or have any redeeming qualities.  They don't even have to be hot.  The second category is the 2-10-2.  A female who may be a 2 on the hotness scale back home may be perceived as a 10 when downrange, simply due to a shortage of females.  When they return home, they quickly regain their status as a 2 because the males have options and an appropriate scale for judging the hotness.  The 2-10-2 obviously doesn't have looks going for her, but in the environment that has 2-10-2s, they don't even need to know how to flirt. 

    Questions?

    Yes  Simple and honest answer.  Also cheating is subject to UMJC. Sadly, cheating usually gets brushed under the rug.

    See, Ojo, this is why I love you. 

    Also, it's UCMJ. And it's because it's very hard to prove. The wording in UCMJ is very specific and causes a lot of issues.

    image

    CJ 05/29/2013

  • A particularly horrific situation my husband encountered was that the tent behind him was being operated as a prostitution ring.  A female captain was in charge of it. Indifferent  True story. 
    Twin boys due 7/25/12
  • imageMrsS2203:
    imageMrsOjoButtons:

    Pull up a chair, ladies. 

    We have two general categories of females who get around in a deployed environment.  The first is the Desert Queen.  Desert Queens are decent looking, but they don't have to be charming or have any redeeming qualities.  They don't even have to be hot.  The second category is the 2-10-2.  A female who may be a 2 on the hotness scale back home may be perceived as a 10 when downrange, simply due to a shortage of females.  When they return home, they quickly regain their status as a 2 because the males have options and an appropriate scale for judging the hotness.  The 2-10-2 obviously doesn't have looks going for her, but in the environment that has 2-10-2s, they don't even need to know how to flirt. 

    Questions?

    Yes  Simple and honest answer.  Also cheating is subject to UMJC. Sadly, cheating usually gets brushed under the rug.

    The reason it gets swept under the rug is because if the person being cheated on does ask for a divorce it makes sense not to report them because all that will happen is a bust in rank which means less child support for the soon to be ex spouse if they do have kids.

    I'm not justifying it in anyway and think there is no excuse for cheating but ya that's why most spouses don't report it.

  • imageMrsOjoButtons:
    A particularly horrific situation my husband encountered was that the tent behind him was being operated as a prostitution ring.  A female captain was in charge of it. Indifferent  True story. 

    One of my former friends told me that when he was on a MEU, some Navy female got caught hooking. They opened her foot locker and she had something insane like 25k in it.  

    I've seen a lot of military surprise homecomings. It wouldn't work on me. I always have my back to the corner and my face to the door. Looking for terrorists, criminals, various other threats, and husbands.
  • imageWishIcouldbeinthe'stan:

    imageMrsOjoButtons:
    A particularly horrific situation my husband encountered was that the tent behind him was being operated as a prostitution ring.  A female captain was in charge of it. Indifferent  True story. 

    One of my former friends told me that when he was on a MEU, some Navy female got caught hooking. They opened her foot locker and she had something insane like 25k in it.  

    Please say some of it was in AAFES pogs.

    Twin boys due 7/25/12
  • imageMrsOjoButtons:

    Please say some of it was in AAFES pogs.

    I so badly want a FB "Like" button for this.  So badly.  

  • imageMrsOjoButtons:

    Pull up a chair, ladies. 

    We have two general categories of females who get around in a deployed environment.  The first is the Desert Queen.  Desert Queens are decent looking, but they don't have to be charming or have any redeeming qualities.  They don't even have to be hot.  The second category is the 2-10-2.  A female who may be a 2 on the hotness scale back home may be perceived as a 10 when downrange, simply due to a shortage of females.  When they return home, they quickly regain their status as a 2 because the males have options and an appropriate scale for judging the hotness.  The 2-10-2 obviously doesn't have looks going for her, but in the environment that has 2-10-2s, they don't even need to know how to flirt. 

    Questions?

    My husband told me that they are called "deployment doable". :-)

  • imageBacon+lettuce+tomato:
    imageMrsS2203:
    imageMrsOjoButtons:

    Pull up a chair, ladies. 

    We have two general categories of females who get around in a deployed environment.  The first is the Desert Queen.  Desert Queens are decent looking, but they don't have to be charming or have any redeeming qualities.  They don't even have to be hot.  The second category is the 2-10-2.  A female who may be a 2 on the hotness scale back home may be perceived as a 10 when downrange, simply due to a shortage of females.  When they return home, they quickly regain their status as a 2 because the males have options and an appropriate scale for judging the hotness.  The 2-10-2 obviously doesn't have looks going for her, but in the environment that has 2-10-2s, they don't even need to know how to flirt. 

    Questions?

    Yes  Simple and honest answer.  Also cheating is subject to UMJC. Sadly, cheating usually gets brushed under the rug.

    See, Ojo, this is why I love you. 

    Also, it's UCMJ. And it's because it's very hard to prove. The wording in UCMJ is very specific and causes a lot of issues.

    Excuse my typo...My DS was on my lap and fussy.  I was typing one handed.  I'm also unsure why its UMJC,because I'm 98% positive I typed UCMJ.  Thanks for the correction!

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  • Also, it's UCMJ. And it's because it's very hard to prove. The wording in UCMJ is very specific and causes a lot of issues.

    / This.

    You have to have 'proof' of the cheating- either a child conceived as a result, video, audio, or explicit emails (maybe there are other forms that can be 'proof' but these are the only ones I know for a fact count as proof).

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  • imageMrsOjoButtons:

    Pull up a chair, ladies. 

    We have two general categories of females who get around in a deployed environment.  The first is the Desert Queen.  Desert Queens are decent looking, but they don't have to be charming or have any redeeming qualities.  They don't even have to be hot.  The second category is the 2-10-2.  A female who may be a 2 on the hotness scale back home may be perceived as a 10 when downrange, simply due to a shortage of females.  When they return home, they quickly regain their status as a 2 because the males have options and an appropriate scale for judging the hotness.  The 2-10-2 obviously doesn't have looks going for her, but in the environment that has 2-10-2s, they don't even need to know how to flirt. 

    Questions?

    very well said!

    If you knew better, you'd do better.
  • The military is disgusting! In my unit everyone is sleeping with everyone. I have to be one of the only ones that is faithful to my husband. I stay out of it, but I still come to work and hear about it. I think any workplace is like that thought because my brother just came home from work talking about the same thing at the factory he works at. And don't forget that in most of those locations its very easy to find a prostitute, they prey on the military. Don't get me started on my husbands friend who lost his virginity to 2 Japanese prostitutes. 
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  • imageleslie13510:
    imageMrsOjoButtons:

    Please say some of it was in AAFES pogs.

    I so badly want a FB "Like" button for this.  So badly.  

    Ditto.

    Oh, pogs.

    image

    CJ 05/29/2013

  • imageWeWearCombatBoots:
    The military is disgusting!
    Well that's quite the exaggeration!  It sounds like your unit is disgusting, not the military.
    Twin boys due 7/25/12
  • imageMrsOjoButtons:
    imageWeWearCombatBoots:
    The military is disgusting!
    Well that's quite the exaggeration!  It sounds like your unit is disgusting, not the military.

    Agreed. I've heard quite a few stories about spouses, specifically marine spouses, at home during deployments too and it would be a gross overstatement to assume that marine spouses are all disgusting. I'm sure a fair amount of cheating goes on the world over in all organizations, institutions, etc. It's sad, but vulnerability comes with opening your heart to someone. I absolutely trust MH while he's away and he trusts me. I hate that some people do not respect and honor their vows.

  • imageMrsOjoButtons:
    imageWeWearCombatBoots:
    The military is disgusting!
    Well that's quite the exaggeration!  It sounds like your unit is disgusting, not the military.

     

    Ditto. I happen to like my unit and it's not disgusting.

    image

    CJ 05/29/2013

  • imageMrsOjoButtons:
    imageWishIcouldbeinthe'stan:

    imageMrsOjoButtons:
    A particularly horrific situation my husband encountered was that the tent behind him was being operated as a prostitution ring.  A female captain was in charge of it. Indifferent  True story. 

    One of my former friends told me that when he was on a MEU, some Navy female got caught hooking. They opened her foot locker and she had something insane like 25k in it.  

    Please say some of it was in AAFES pogs.

    LOL! Stick out tongue

     

    image
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  • yeah i think thats what it is..

     

    DH use to work with someone who wasnt even deployed but caught cheating at work in a trailer/temp building.. classy haha

    and SIL is in tech school and was cheating on BIL (while he was deployed). Very classy. lol

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  • Unfortunately, I've seen it first hand. When I first started dating my husband, I met all of his fellow Guard soldiers, some male and some female. At our wedding, we realized that two of our guests, both married to other people, had begun an affair. I won't divulge the whole sorted story but because of the trouble they got into, they were both booted out of the National Guard.
  • imagemeltoine:

    Regardless of who you cheat with during a deployment, it's always a stupid idea. There are several people more knowledgeable on the subject than I, but I think that no matter what, sex during deployment is never allowed. I knew a married couple who were deployed together and they were not allowed to have sex. In addition, I believe that sleeping with someone other than your spouse is also a UCMJ violation.

    The part I bolded is incorrect. My husband and I were deployed together fro March 2010- March 2011 and we were allowed to not only live together but have sex. Also, if I was to get KU, I couldn't get into trouble. A while ago that wasn't the case. General Order 1 didn't have the amendments that it does now so even married couples couldn't live together.

    I agree with the rest of it though, cheating it really stupid regardless of who/where it is. If they are going to cheat, they'll find a way to do it.

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