Community› The Bump Message Boards› Single Parents
Single Parents
New Discussion

What/who did you tell

scout426scout426 member
in Single Parents

So a good portion of my family has an idea of what I'm going thru with stbxh.  So far I have had nothing but support.  But with Christmas in comes the rest of a very large family at very social family events.  My question to you:  When you first seperated or started your divorce what did you tell those around you.  Obviously I do expect some talk between other family members giving the new arrivals a heads up as to why I am there sans husband (I've never been here for Christmas before).  Were you up front about any abuse.  Did you make public any knowledge about the use of drugs or cheating if that applies to your situation.  Or did you just keep your mouth shut and avoid all conversations that might involve your marriage.  

Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Report Reply to Post

Re: What/who did you tell

  • LoveyFNRLoveyFNR member

    I'm in the same boat. Practically all of my family knows I am in the middle of a divorce now, most of them do not know why.

    The thought of telling them he beat on me several times and did it while I was pregnant almost embarasses me. Like I was the stupid one for being with him as long as I did especially when everyone in my family hated him since day 1.

    So far my super close family knows the whole story. My mom is a big drinker and a mega loud mouth during the holidays and I have busted her on numerous occasions telling MY story to family members or her friends even though I have made her promise not to. I don't plan on telling family WHY and what happened to cause my divorce. It's really none of their business. But, like I said, my mom is a big mouth and most will probably know by the end of the week anyways.

    I am trying to see the one bright side of it. My ex is exposed for the piece of crap he truly is. All his "church family" who he talked so sweet to while he got drunk and beat on me the night before now know who he really is. I'm glad he is finally exposed. Even if it puts me in a dark and sad place.

    With that being said, since it is CHristmas time I want to avoid all conversations about my divorce. I will give brief answers if anyone asks me a direct question.

    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • CBKMRBCBKMRB

    To extended family I didn't volunteer the information but if they asked or if they had heard something I would answer their question as truthfully as posible but kept it short and sweet.

    Close family and friends pretty much knew everything.

    Whatever you feel comfortable with telling, tell them that.  If there is a particular family member you want to share your story with then do it.  It's totally up to you how much you want people to know.

    Report Reply
  • LadyLissameLadyLissame member
    Yea, flame me if you want but when STBX and I separated, I posted on Facebook that we were separating and that is was because of his affair. I didn't want to rehash it several times over and I was tired of covering for him. I felt that it was time to call him out on it. I have received lots of support from my family on it, and some of STBXs family (step sister and several friends)
    Report Reply
  • MJN9510MJN9510 member
    I havent gotten the strength to leave quite yet but I have not confided in too many people about how things are at home.  I have two friends that know and one of my aunts knows but that is it.  I assume my mom and my sister suspect things arent going well but we dont talk about it.  I think I really should let it all out and confide in them but i am just not ready.  I feel like they will pass judgement on me as to why I married him in the first place and also they are very religious.  Especially my sister who has told me more than once on the subject of divorce that the only time divorce is ok is when adultery has occurred.  I dont agree with her, but it is hard to confide in her about why I am thinking about leaving.  His emotional abuse and alcoholism wouldnt be grounds for divorce in her opinion and this is the marriage I am in.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • bobbi5342bobbi5342 member
    I filed for divorce back in November and the only family I've told is my sister. We are still living together. I am not sure if he has told his parents. We are planning to go to his parents this weekend. So we are kind of hiding the situation for now. It's a little awkward being around family and pretending things are okay. I am thinking I need to just tell my mom...it's complicated since I am due in 5 weeks. Even though I want to continue with the divorce, I can't afford to be on my own right now, especially since I want to take more than 6 weeks off after delivery.
    image
    Report Reply
  • scout426scout426 member

    imagebobbi5342:
    I filed for divorce back in November and the only family I've told is my sister. We are still living together. I am not sure if he has told his parents. We are planning to go to his parents this weekend. So we are kind of hiding the situation for now. It's a little awkward being around family and pretending things are okay. I am thinking I need to just tell my mom...it's complicated since I am due in 5 weeks. Even though I want to continue with the divorce, I can't afford to be on my own right now, especially since I want to take more than 6 weeks off after delivery.

    I'm so sorry.  I couldn't imagine having to spend another holiday with stbxh after filing the paperwork.   

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"