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Don't you hate it when...

lovemymaddylovemymaddy
in Late Term and Child Loss
You catch yourself smiling or having fun for a minute and then you remember suddenly that your baby died? I know that sounds blunt, but it's that blunt in my head and my heart when I realize it again. I was laughing at something that happened at work today and then Timmy popped into my head and I had to remind myself again that he was gone. Ugh. I hate, HATE that tenth of a second where my brain has to remind itself that he's gone. My heart stops and skips a few beats while I realize that it's true. Then it's just that heavy feeling when you realize then that he's not coming back. :(  I know you all can relate.
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Re: Don't you hate it when...

  • AmyG2bAmyG2b member
    Yes, I hate that feeling, and the guilt that comes with it. I try to remember there are still reasons in life to be happy, but it's hard.
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  • pottermommypottermommy member
    Yep, and the stone that seems to slide down your throat and fall into the botton of your stomach....
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  • mrssopranomrssoprano member
    I absolutely understand. It sucks.
    imageimageimage

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    Mother to DD, born sleeping on 9/28/11, and DS, born 3/12/13, 5lbs 13oz, 19in
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  • caitriona87caitriona87 member
    Yes...ugh. It's like experiencing it over and over again.
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  • starrkitten89starrkitten89
    It's such an awful feeling,I know exactly how you feel.

    Lilypie - (yNYF)

    Lilypie - (bSes)

    T1 diabetes diagnosed 11/95 due to severe pancreatic injury
    BFP 1 1/22/10 EDD 9/30/10 Adria b. 9/11/10 d.8/9/11, Transposition of the Great Arteries,
    Pleural effusion, Kidney Failure
    BFP 2 4/26/12 EDD 1/3/13 M/C 5/13/12
    BFP 3 10/3/12 EDD 6/17/13 Twins! Preston and Juliet b. 5/22/13

     

     

     

     

     

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  • weddedwifeweddedwife member
    Lately every day feels like groundhogs day. I wake up, and my baby is still dead.
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  • magdalina.hmagdalina.h member

    Yup


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  • johnnys junejohnnys june member
    I could "ditto" this.
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  • roxyttandmeroxyttandme member

    I used to do this all the time. I haven't done it for... probably a year if not more... It will get better, hun. Promise.

    (((hugs))) 

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  • agrobins1agrobins1 member
    I totally understand. I am sitting here at work having a decent day then I wrote the date down on some paperwork and realized that at this time exactly one month ago, around 10:45am, we were sitting in the triage at the hospital waiting for them to tell me I'm starting to go into labor and that's why I wasn't feeling Ava move yet that morning.  Instead, they hook me up to the doppler only to hear that eerie silence instead of her heartbeat that was so strong just days before!  Now I sit here trying not to throw up and cry while my co-workers are happily walking by my office.  To top that off, a well meaning manager/friend, who just had their 3rd child days before us, comes in to complain about how he had to clean up then put his son to bed because he puked everywhere at 3am.  I'd love to have to clean up Ava's puke!
    Our sweet girl, born sleeping November 21, 2011 at 40w1d
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  • lrichmond86lrichmond86 member
    I know the feeling.  I've had a different dream every night since delivering that baby Gary was healthy and coming home with us.  Every time I wake up and realize that he's still gone I cry myself back to sleep.  I'm so sorry we all have to experience this pain.
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