Don't you hate it when...

lovemymaddy

You catch yourself smiling or having fun for a minute and then you remember suddenly that your baby died? I know that sounds blunt, but it's that blunt in my head and my heart when I realize it again. I was laughing at something that happened at work today and then Timmy popped into my head and I had to remind myself again that he was gone. Ugh. I hate, HATE that tenth of a second where my brain has to remind itself that he's gone. My heart stops and skips a few beats while I realize that it's true. Then it's just that heavy feeling when you realize then that he's not coming back.   I know you all can relate.

AmyG2b

Yes, I hate that feeling, and the guilt that comes with it. I try to remember there are still reasons in life to be happy, but it's hard.

pottermommy

Yep, and the stone that seems to slide down your throat and fall into the botton of your stomach....

mrssoprano

I absolutely understand. It sucks.

[Deleted User]

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caitriona87

Yes...ugh. It's like experiencing it over and over again.

starrkitten89

It's such an awful feeling,I know exactly how you feel.

weddedwife

Lately every day feels like groundhogs day. I wake up, and my baby is still dead.

magdalina.h

Yup

johnnys june

I could "ditto" this.

roxyttandme

I used to do this all the time. I haven't done it for... probably a year if not more... It will get better, hun. Promise.

(((hugs))) 

agrobins1

I totally understand. I am sitting here at work having a decent day then I wrote the date down on some paperwork and realized that at this time exactly one month ago, around 10:45am, we were sitting in the triage at the hospital waiting for them to tell me I'm starting to go into labor and that's why I wasn't feeling Ava move yet that morning.  Instead, they hook me up to the doppler only to hear that eerie silence instead of her heartbeat that was so strong just days before!  Now I sit here trying not to throw up and cry while my co-workers are happily walking by my office.  To top that off, a well meaning manager/friend, who just had their 3rd child days before us, comes in to complain about how he had to clean up then put his son to bed because he puked everywhere at 3am.  I'd love to have to clean up Ava's puke!

lrichmond86

I know the feeling.  I've had a different dream every night since delivering that baby Gary was healthy and coming home with us.  Every time I wake up and realize that he's still gone I cry myself back to sleep.  I'm so sorry we all have to experience this pain.