Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
angelrue522
member
Re: Dr refuses to do VBAC ??????
Did he say if he refuses or if he can't because the hospital has a ban?
The tides are definitely turning on these VBAC bans and it sounds like this OB or the hospital is getting left behind. Unless you want to be pushing boundaries, I would find a new OB immediately. And do you really want to be with a doctor who is not keeping up with the most recent medical research? I wouldn't.
You have already had a vaginal birth, which makes you a great candidate for a VBAC. Good luck with your search!
Oh, and I have gotten all sorts of 'recommendations' about doctors, but when I hear what they've told their patients or the types of interventions they support, I want to run screaming.
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
I have worked in the medical field for years. I know LOTS of OBs that won't do VBACs, simply because of the risk of uterine rupture. I know that it is up to doctor descression as to whether or not they will do them. Part of the determination as to who might be a candidate for a VBAC has to do with size, location, and directions of c-section incisions (this was learned during nursing school). They do also take into account complications you had with your c-section.
If this OB refuses to do VBACs at all, I would recommend finding a new doc, as you have the right to explore all options before plan of action gets developed. If he is saying you're not a candidate (for a valid reason such as your c-section incision is too high and places you at a much greater risk of uterine rupture), then I would reconsider the VBAC. Bottom line, a doc usually won't do something that carries an increased risk if there is an option with a lower risk. GL with this pregnancy and with finding a doc that you're comfortable with!
Dx PCOS (June 2006, re-confirmed March 2012), Anemia (May 2010-Still fighting to correct it), Fibromyalgia (May 2011)
Initial b/w - normal
HSG (March 2012) revealed right tube open and looking great. Left tube deformed with hydrosalpinx.
Lap (April 2012) Removal of left fallopian tube. Right tube open and viable, but "rather enlarged." NO evidence of endometriosis...Uterus looks beautiful and "very capable" of carrying a pregnancy!
October 2012 - Clomid 50mg + trigger + IUI = BFN
With all factors taken into account, RE is recommending IVF. Planning on moving forward with treatment as a single woman using DS by Summer 2013.
After 17 months of trying, Surprise BFP #1 2.15.2008 | EDD 8.7.2008 | Lost 2.16.2008
After 2 more years of trying, Surprise BFP #2 1.29.2012 | EDD 9.11.2012 | Lost 1.29.2012
Surprise BFP #3 3.27.2012 | EDD 12/2/2012 | Lost 4.1.2012
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The problem with the explanation give by the pp is that the "lower risk" is to the doctor's medical malpractice; not to you. Yes, there are risks with a VBAC but there are risks with a repeat c-section too. When you look at both options, there is no clear winner for each woman. It's a personal decision. The evidence supports the safety of VBAC, especially for women with a prior vaginal birth. https://www.ajog.org/article/S0002-9378(06)00769-1/abstract
Definitely look into ICAN to find a suggestion for a doctor who is open to VBAC. You are the consumer and you have a right to be supported in your choices.