FTM's... Be honest with me.

telatovich · December 2011

Any one else not feeling like this whole pregnancy/parenting thing is really happening? I don't particularly feel "emotionally connected" to my baby yet... and just kind of feel like there's this thing growing in me. I know this might sound cold and harsh, but I can't be the only one who feels this way! Tell me I'm not alone!!

Shawnee11507 · December 2011

I feel like it won't really be real until he's born. It's weird. I know there is a baby in my tummy but then when I see someone with a newborn it really hits me- like- holy crap! I am going to have one of those soon! Somehow it doesn't really feel like my growing belly translates well to actual real live little human being quite yet to me.

telatovich · December 2011

Shawnee11507:
Somehow it doesn't really feel like my growing belly translates well to actual real live little human being quite yet to me.

Ha, exactly! Thank you!! Last time I went for bloodwork someone had a newborn there, and I started to tear up thinking that "Whoa, I guess we're going to have one of those." It just doesn't feel like my reality yet. I can't even comprehend having a kid in our life yet. Not even a little.

goldenleaves · December 2011

I was like this with my first and still have days this time where it doesn't feel real that I'm actually going to have 2 kids!!

avalovesart · December 2011

I totally feel like there's a baby in me and I feel a connection to her, but I know it will be much stronger and complex when she arrives. For now, I don't know her so it's a very limited relationship!

What's her personality going to be? Her habits? Her features? All these things are unknown now, so it's natural the connection should be very vague.

jennlin · December 2011

everything that pp's have said...it's definitely not "real" yet...we don't have a name, we don't have a nursery, we don't even know if we're having a boy or a girl...to us, it's definitely not real. whenever someone asks if we're "ready"....i always tell them "ready for what?" because it just doesn't feel real.

we're all in for a crazy wake up call soon Wink

nonoemily · December 2011

Last week at my appointment one of the midwives asked me if I'd had any dreams about my baby yet (we were on the topic of dreams for some reason) and I had to admit I never have. In fact, in all my dreams I am not pregnant, but I am still not supposed to do all the same things (like drink alcohol, or whatever...)

The whole thing is surreal, and I don't know anything about babies. Before I got pregnant, I would usually decline offers to hold someone's baby, it really freaked me out. Especially tiny babies. Eeek!

I have less than 8 weeks til my due date and I'm not at all nervous about labor. The whole thing just feels unreal. How could I possibly be a mother? I still feel like a punk kid most days!

cs1225 · December 2011

I felt this exact same way with DD. Now, I feel even more like it. I keep looking at our little family and thinking how much its going to change, but it still seems so far away to me - even those its less than 8 wks.

nattyk · December 2011

It still doesnt feel real to me either, despite having the nursery almost done, writing out thank you cards from my shower, and feeling LO kick. I've had a few baby dreams where I knew it was my baby, but I still didnt feel connected. Only 1 dream (last night, actually) has starred a little baby, the rest have been toddlers.

I've thought about L&D, but I'm really not anxious about it at all, which is weird for me, cause I'm a worrier/planner and dont do well with pain.

A friend of mine told me that it didnt even feel real to her when they were on their way to the hospital, so I'm not too worried.

jen-dale · December 2011

I felt that way with DD and I feel that way this time too. You'll get there. It will probably be after your baby is born. You're doing fine, don't worry.

Ya Never Know · December 2011

I feel this way too. My BFF even admitted that even when her baby was born, the first few weeks were so surreal it was hard to tell if it was real, or all just a big dream. She even says there's some days where she still thinks to herself.. "Holy crap! I'm a mom!", and her son is almost 2 years old. LOL

kristin172429 · December 2011

I am totally on the same page. I joke about my little alien growing in my belly. I think it's just too big to really wrap your head around in any logical sense. You know there is a baby and that someday, they will be here, but until you hold them in your arms, it is just too surreal. I was just thinking today how my life just feels normal with just DH and I and our zoo, but in a mere 6+ weeks, our whole world will be different. It's totally nutso.

elliscn · December 2011

I feel the same. I had a really weird experience last night, though, that made it WAY more real to me... I was in the tub, and I put my hand on my tummy, and was feeling around, and I think I felt her. I mean that I poked around and she was just chillin in there. I've felt her kick all kinds before, but I could never poke my belly and feel where she was. It was like, HOLY CRAP, there's a real, solid baby in there.
I don't know why it hit me like that, but it seems that's how it goes for me... there will just be one little thing that kind of sets me off thinking about it or makes it really real for a minute.
Our good friends had a baby in March, and she told me that she didn't feel like it was really real until Jaxon was actually here. So I haven't been too worried about the connection, because I think it's totally normal to not feel like a 'mom' to these babies yet.

pinksweetpea2 · December 2011

I totally felt that way the first time around...heck, I felt that way for the first few weeks after she was born too. They don't exactly come out with huge personalities.

You will get there. Try not to stress about it.

KRISTA555 · December 2011

FWIW, I didn't feel 100% bonded and totally in love with my daughter until she was a little older and I had gotten to know her better. Not sure exactly when that was, but I would estimate it was around 2 months or so.

I loved her when she was born, of course, and I would've died for her that very day. But my love for her has grown exponentially since then. It's hard to be super bonded with someone who just lays there like a floppy fish.

Don't worry about it. It may happen when you see your child, or it may happen a couple months later. It will happen though. Just don't beat yourself up about it.

susie2242 · December 2011

I've talked with many a new mom that didn't feel a connection during pregnancy and even the first few days or weeks of thier childs life. Its a new person you've just met, you both need time to get to know each other. Don't feel bad if it takes a little longer for that bond to show, it will. : )