Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: I have a question for you all
Her head was 13 3/4 inches. I just remember him saying during my section that there was no way she would have come out any other way. At one point in time during labor she moved back up so far that when the doctor came in to check me that he couldn't feel her head anymore. He did however say at my appointment that while I'm not the most favorable candidate for a VBAC, he would be happy to let me try if that's what I would like to do the next time around. He was actually pretty supportive of it and said that he actually had recently had someone with the same situation as mine and she had no problems with her VBAC (which was encouraging).
Hmmm, according to the baby center calculator, that's about the 50% for newborns, so it's not huge by any means. https://www.babycenter.com/baby-child-growth-percentile-calculator
I know I was told by an OB right after I had my first son via c-section that I shouldn't attempt VBAC. But the MWs who worked at the same hospital all told me it wouldn't be a problem, and the MW I ended up having for my second pregnancy supported my choice also. I think providers talking about whether someone is a good VBAC candidate has a lot more to do with their own personal view on VBAC, rather than a simple x, y, or z of why the first c-section was done.
</rant> I would ask him specifics about his VBAC policy (can you go past 40 weeks? Will you have to stay in bed? Have an epidural no matter what? Etc.), and think about getting a few other opinions from different OB/MWs, too. Good luck!
ETA: My c-section son had a huge bruise on the top of his head from me pushing, and I know a lot of other kids who had the same thing. I don't think it's indicative of not fitting or anything.
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
I agree that 13.75 is not a huge head. Both of mine had heads over 14 and no one said they were unbirthable. Unless there is a medical reason that you haven't mentioned, I don't see why you wouldn't be a good candidate.
First off, if your baby did have a large head, I see no reason why you wouldn't be a candidate for a VBAC- in fact, I think you'd be an excellent candidate, as your next baby wouldn't really be likely to have the same issue.
However, I agree with the others that your baby didn't have a large head. I think there were probably other factors that caused your c-section. Positioning is everything- your baby could have been in a poor position that caused him to be unable to descend properly. OP presentation, or brow presentation, or anything else makes it more difficult, but would not preclude you from having a natural birth next time around.
Agree. It can't hurt to try again. Maybe your first LO stretched the path a bit too.