My SIL has generously offered to be a GC for us. We're not sure yet if this is the path we will take but we're meeting with a lawyer on Monday. I was wondering if any of you ladies have had experience using or being a GC, and if so, any specific questions I should ask? I know laws vary from state to state. I hope to be able to join you on this board eventually - as you can see from my siggie it's been a long hard road.
Dx: High FSH, stage IV endo, homozygous C677T MTHFR and PAI-1
Early loss 10/08
Lap 1/09
IVF #1 "natural IVF" - 1 egg retrieved, missed m/c
Tried several mini-stim cycles with no response
Switched clinics - dx'd as carrier for Fragile X
IVF #2 MDL protocol Jan/Feb converted to IUI, BFN
IVF #2 take 2: Antagonist, one embie, BFN
IVF #3: Antagonist, no fertilization
One last ditch effort at OE IVF (antagonist with Clomid) cancelled
DE cycle #1 Jan/Feb 2011, BFP, ectopic
DE cycle #2 June/July 2011 - BFP
10/28/11 Baby girl lost at 17 weeks due to pre-term labor. We love and miss you.
DE cycle #3 June/July 2012 - BFP, twins, both heartbeats stopped, D&C
2 frosties but don't know what's next
FET Dec 2012: BFP! Praying this one sticks for the long haul!
Re: xp: Can anyone tell me about GCs?
After two losses, third time was a charm.
pm me for blog link
I was the gestational carrier. (almost)
You'll want to find out how GC friendly your state is and what you'll need to do before/ after the birth with the prebirth order to make sure you're on the birth certificate, etc.
You might want to talk about the best way to reimburse her for Dr appts etc.
Also maybe ask whether they've done a surrogacy contract before (we used a family law lawyer who specialized in it because we had an independent agreement. )
Maybe ask if they have a contract that is standard and that you can make changes to as you see fit.
There are tons of things you'll want to put into the contract, and I can speak to some of those, but as far as an initial consultation with the lawyer, I can't think of anything else.
Thank you for your response. I hope it's ok if I PM you after our consult if I have any more specific questions. I know our state (NJ) is not particularly GC-friendly, and since I'd also be using DE I don't think I'd be able to be on a pre-birth order and will instead have to do an adoption. Not sure how involved that is or how much it costs. Also we'll have to make sure her insurance will cover her - if not it might be a dealbreaker. The lawyer was recommended by my RE, and specializes in reproductive/family law.
When SIL first volunteered, using DE and GC seemed simpler than going the traditional adoption route, and since I've been on this journey so long I just want the quickest path to a baby. I guess we will see what exactly it entails before deciding for sure.
Early loss 10/08
Lap 1/09
IVF #1 "natural IVF" - 1 egg retrieved, missed m/c
Tried several mini-stim cycles with no response
Switched clinics - dx'd as carrier for Fragile X
IVF #2 MDL protocol Jan/Feb converted to IUI, BFN
IVF #2 take 2: Antagonist, one embie, BFN
IVF #3: Antagonist, no fertilization
One last ditch effort at OE IVF (antagonist with Clomid) cancelled
DE cycle #1 Jan/Feb 2011, BFP, ectopic
DE cycle #2 June/July 2011 - BFP
10/28/11 Baby girl lost at 17 weeks due to pre-term labor. We love and miss you.
DE cycle #3 June/July 2012 - BFP, twins, both heartbeats stopped, D&C
2 frosties but don't know what's next
FET Dec 2012: BFP! Praying this one sticks for the long haul!
Sure, no problem!
Another option IF your SIL were up for it, (that's a big IF) could be an IUI with her eggs. Not sure if that would be weird though. Just something to think about. It would be less costly on many fronts but the emotional aspect might also be difficult.
Also, if her insurance doesn't cover it, there is one company I know of that will cover her. I had a backup policy through them and I can give you that info if you need it.
Actually it's DH's sister so that wouldn't work with her eggs
Yes, I know there are policies you can buy, but aren't they quite expensive? That's what I was worried about... maybe you could PM me the details.
Early loss 10/08
Lap 1/09
IVF #1 "natural IVF" - 1 egg retrieved, missed m/c
Tried several mini-stim cycles with no response
Switched clinics - dx'd as carrier for Fragile X
IVF #2 MDL protocol Jan/Feb converted to IUI, BFN
IVF #2 take 2: Antagonist, one embie, BFN
IVF #3: Antagonist, no fertilization
One last ditch effort at OE IVF (antagonist with Clomid) cancelled
DE cycle #1 Jan/Feb 2011, BFP, ectopic
DE cycle #2 June/July 2011 - BFP
10/28/11 Baby girl lost at 17 weeks due to pre-term labor. We love and miss you.
DE cycle #3 June/July 2012 - BFP, twins, both heartbeats stopped, D&C
2 frosties but don't know what's next
FET Dec 2012: BFP! Praying this one sticks for the long haul!
Actually it's DH's sister so that wouldn't work with her eggs since we are using his sperm
Yes, I know there are policies you can buy, but aren't they quite expensive? That's what I was worried about... maybe you could PM me the details.
Early loss 10/08
Lap 1/09
IVF #1 "natural IVF" - 1 egg retrieved, missed m/c
Tried several mini-stim cycles with no response
Switched clinics - dx'd as carrier for Fragile X
IVF #2 MDL protocol Jan/Feb converted to IUI, BFN
IVF #2 take 2: Antagonist, one embie, BFN
IVF #3: Antagonist, no fertilization
One last ditch effort at OE IVF (antagonist with Clomid) cancelled
DE cycle #1 Jan/Feb 2011, BFP, ectopic
DE cycle #2 June/July 2011 - BFP
10/28/11 Baby girl lost at 17 weeks due to pre-term labor. We love and miss you.
DE cycle #3 June/July 2012 - BFP, twins, both heartbeats stopped, D&C
2 frosties but don't know what's next
FET Dec 2012: BFP! Praying this one sticks for the long haul!