Preemies
fusssing to be picked up: go by real or adjusted age
Wondering what other preemie mamas did when it seemed that their LOs are crying but seemingly only to be picked up...If DS were a FT baby and 12 weeks old I would start letting him fuss (cry) a bit before going to him so he learns to comfort himself and be by himself but since my DD was just 3.5 weeks ago seems like I should treat him as the newborn that he should be, so I don't know whether to go by his real or adjusted age when deciding how much to let him CIO....after writing it out it seems if he's realized all he has to do is cry to be picked up then he's old enough to realize we can't hold him all day
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Re: fusssing to be picked up: go by real or adjusted age
We don't do CIO either, but 12 weeks is too early for that even for a term baby. I'm not sure if you're referring to CIO or not in your post, but CIO shouldn't be started until 4-6 months even for a term baby. I think it's okay to let all babies fuss for a couple of minutes if you have to, say, go to the bathroom, but, at your daughter's age, I really think you should just be picking your up.
To answer your specific question: You should be using adjusted age for all milestones, especially at the very beginining. My son is starting to catch up, so we use his actual age for some things. He's 10 months old, though, which is a lot different of a situation than you're in.
don't let him cry. it won't teach him anything. he's a newborn, and if his babysitter is going to leave him to cry, i'd reconsider my childcare plans. that's not meant to be snarky, either.
Henry wants to be held all the time too. It's SO challenging, and because they are preemies this newborn stuff lasts FOREVER! I will let him grunt and fuss a little bit when I have to get something done (shower, fold clothes, pee, etc), but if he really cries I pick him up. It's true he does just want to be held, but his reasons are a little different than an older baby. Being held helps him calm down from being overstimulated, regulates his temp, and helps him fall into the deeper stages of sleep that are important for brain development.
My ringslings have been lifesavers! That way I have my hands free to do other things, like pee or bump
). Can't wait till he can be left to his own devices a little more, but my mom instincts tell me we're not there yet...
BFP#2 3/16/11, beta 138; 4/12 Baby/HB DS born 9/10/11 at 29w4d due to partial abruption and PTL
BFP#3 8/19/13 Another boy! 17P, modified bedrest and Nifedipine helped us have a termie! DS2 born 4/19/14 at 38w5d.
I just realized my reply got put in Hazie's quote: the first 2 paragraphs are her's and the 3rd is my reply:
This is basically it, he just wants to be held all the time, he wants to sleep most of the day still but wants to sleep with one of us holding him, he only stays alseep 15-20 min after putting him down...While I love cuddling with him it just leaves very little time to do anything, I guess I'll have to have Santa get me sort of carrier for Christmas
I'll also have to make sure the babysitter realizes he still needs treated for newborn like a newborn