Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: What to expect at 26 weeks.... 29 weeks....32 weeks...
Im so sorry you are here! We have a preemie resource blog and on the main preemie page it is up to the right. It will tell you some useful info about being in the NICU and tell you some of our stories (including my 27 weekers).
I can tell you first hand there is no cut and dry answers. I had twins and one was strictly a feeder/grower with only 1 scare of anything. The other has issues to this day that we have concerns about. They are genetically identical and yet they are completely different in how they went through the NICU. There are moms here that had 36 weekers that ran into complications with their preemies.
The best advice I can give is take it a day at a time and feel free to come here to vent or for advice any time!
BFP#2 3/16/11, beta 138; 4/12 Baby/HB DS born 9/10/11 at 29w4d due to partial abruption and PTL
BFP#3 8/19/13 Another boy! 17P, modified bedrest and Nifedipine helped us have a termie! DS2 born 4/19/14 at 38w5d.
I'm so sorry - what a lot of stressful details to be thinking about. As one PP said it's hard to determine 'preemie'ness because each baby is different, but every day in the oven makes a huge difference!
Please look at my siggy - there is a link to a blog we've put together that is just the sort of thing you're asking about. I hope it will be helpful. Take the link to the FAQ and share it with friends and family so they'll know how to help you better when/if the time comes.
If you have other questions or concerns we're all here for you!
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I'm sure it's incredibly difficult for you and your family. To address your specific question: I'd look at the March of Dimes website. There's a lot of information there about preemies that your husband might find helpful. Here's a link:
https://www.marchofdimes.com/baby/premature.html
I'll be thinking of you...
All of this exactly. Also I would reconsider the meeting with the neos. I know you have a ton on your plate right now but I think it would help both you and your husband have a chance to find out your hospital's views on things. There are a lot of things that are hospital-specific so reading our stories will only help you get a general perspective. The neos can tell you exactly what their plans will be at any given gestational age.
I'm sorry you are facing this-I can't imagine how hard it must be to process everything.
Our precious girl, born at 27 weeks.
Not there, downtown Mpls near Lake St
Thanks everyone. Gee, is ANYTHING going to be black and white, cut & dry with this? lol. I know it's best if we do tour with a neo, I'm just dreading ANOTHER appointment. (I have all kinds of health issues, so I literally am at SOMETHING at least 2-3 times a week... my poor daughter wakes up and asks who we get to see today? and is happy based on their sticker collection, lol.)
But I'm a "planner" and grateful I have time to kinda get a sense of things before chit hits the fan. If it does. :::rolls eyes:::
Thanks everyone! I'll check out those links.
Then I'll hope to NEVER need that info, if ya'll don't mind ;-)
Davez - this page on the MOD website has some general info as to different gestational ages and common issues. As a point of reference (since every preemie is different), Andrew dealt with all of the "common medical complications of preemies" except for NEC (although we did have a scare, just never confirmed thank goodness) and infection (how we avoided that one, I have no idea...it's very common in micropreemies with such long stays.)
I have a book I can send you IF and ONLY IF you need it. It really is too much to read cold - there are just so many things that a preemie can face that it's kind of overwhelming.
You aren't going to need the book though. [Tough love...tell those babies to stay put, ok?] xoxo
I have popped in on the HR board. I'm all educated on GD, now. lol.
And Kris... you keep your damn book ;-P
I'd also recommend Dr. Sears' "The Premature Baby Book". It breaks down in easily understandable information about what to expect during a typical course for each range of gestation and the possible complications along the way. Speaking to the neonatologist can be a good resource but can give you worst case scenario and statistics. Also if your delivery isn't imminent, it might be hard for them to go into great detail about everything since it's unknown when you could deliver. Best wishes to you and I hope you don't have to be here for while if ever.
Peanut Butter and Jelly!
<a href="http://s568.photobucket.com/albums/ss122/AliceNP/?action=view
T - I sent you a FB message. I have that book and it's yours if you want it.
I agree that while another appointment is no fun at all... meeting one of the neos would be really helpful.
no worries. they've been helpful, nice group. We all have our mountains, but I find myself saying "Gee, I WISH all I was dealing with was a short cervix or high blood sugars..." which isn't fair. It's hard for anyone not having a "normal" pregnancy. (as I'm sure you can all relate)
There is such a big difference between 26, 29, 32 weeks, etc...the cutoff for "feeder/growers" really isn't set. A friend delivered at 34w and her son was intubated. My 35weeker needed no NICU time. My friends 35-weeker needed 3 weeks of NICU time, several issues.
My first son was a 26 weeker - - he spent 17 weeks in the NICU - he had some pretty major issues, he is doing OK now - he's happy, talking, nearly running, loves school, but he is globally delayed, still facing GI issues, has mild ASD.
Lots of prayers. I'm so sorry your family is going through this.
I will say that when I went into the hospital at 24w, they offered that we go in the NICU and see what it's like prior to delivering. We didn't. I think that for me I'd rather just take it as it comes. I didn't read any books. We just trusted the doctors and took it a day at a time. I felt like anxious that way.