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Single Parents
I need a lawyer....
Long story short, DH and I had been thinking about divorce for a while, and he moved out a few times. This last time I decided I want a divorce and it is over. I went to school that morning (a Saturday, so he was home with the kids) and he came and took my car (in his name only because I was a SAHM for so long) and he changed the locks on the apartment and threw all of my clothes outside in garbage bags. He later told me he re-newed the lease agreement without my knowledge two months prior and only put his name on it.
He kept the kids from me for three days (we have two, a 4 yo and an almost 2 yo), and of course I called the police and cried and pleaded and they told me there was nothing they could do because they are his kids too and there is no custody agreement yet. Also because they car and apartment are in his name there is nothing I can do about that until be go to court either.
Finally after three days he started allowing me to see the kids. He knows though that I have no lawyer, no money to get one, no apartment, no money to get one, and I'm in school full time (with only two and half months until I finish). He left me with nothing but a couple hundred dollars. I'm sleeping on a friends couch and visiting with the kids 3-4 days a week after school. I cook them dinner and do their baths and put them to bed, and then he comes home and I have to leave.
This is all killing me obviously. I'm an emotional mess and I have no idea what my next move should be. I know I need a lawyer, but I have no money at all, barely enough to eat. I have family that helped me with a car, but they dont have any money to help me get legal help or an apartment. Also, if we went to court right now, wouldn't he get custody anyway because I have no place to take them to and no money to support them? He has always been in control of the money, because I was SAHM, and he always had everything in his name too because of that.
Advice? Please.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I need a lawyer....
Also, this is my old account. I am usually here under SimpleJude, I dont know why it logged me in to this one. I haven't been on in a whlie.
Wow I am so sorry your going through all of this. Im actually curious about this as well for moms who are unemployed will exes who file for custody be likely to get children as well because im in the same boat. I dont work and will be waiting a bit after she is born to find work and if he decides he wants to take me to court for sole custody would he win automatically? Also we were never married.
Look into County legal aid, you qualify. It will be free for you, they will probably make your DH pay. You might also see if there is someone at your school who can help you (like student legal advice). Goodluck.
yup, you need to go to legal aid TODAY. They should be able to help you. Does your school have a law school attached to it? They might have a clinic there that can help you too.
He can't take the car from you just because it's in his name only. It doesn't matter whose name it's in, it's all marital property if acquired while you were married. This is going to make him look really, really bad, and will likely up the amount of alimony you'll get/make you eligible for alimony in addition to child support.
My mom went through a messy divorce with my dad where my dad royally P.O.'d the judge. He has to pay her a RIDICULOUS amount of alimony, and for life, too. Judges do not like men who treat SAHM's like crap just because they control the finances.
Do you not have a debit card, credit card, checks to the checking account, anything???
He can't really kick you out, it's marital property but I understand your situation. He won't get the kids b/c he kicked and you don't have a place to live. document document document. Also, there is no custody agreement so you have the same rights to the children that he does. Could you sleep in your son's room? Personally if there isn't any violence I wouldn't leave the apartment. I would tell him that I would be living there, he can find somewhere else to live or until he finds you a suitable place to live and pays for it.
Hugs. it's tough, that's for sure.
I never ever post here and I haven't been on the bump in forever but I saw your post and felt like I needed to reply. First of all, it doesn't matter that the lease is in his name, you are considered a resident of the apartment if you have lived their for 30 days and he has no right to lock you out, he could have been arrested for that because my ex tried to do this to me and police arrested him for not complying with the law.
Secondly, since there is no custody agreement, you have the right to your children just as much as he does, it doesn't matter that you're a student and he's working, you have children that still depend on you as you are their primary caregiver I assume - a nearly 2 y.o. still needs his mother and unless you're a drunk, druggie or something of like, (a danger to the children) there isn't really a reason you can't have them with you.
Thirdly, since there is no violence going on, I'd stay there at the apartment. My ex is also the only one on our lease, (I am listed as a tenant) and police told him to go elsewhere.
I'm sorry this has happened to you, I'd raise hell if I had to go an hour without my son unjustly.
Obviously the law varies from state to state, but you are being treated like you did something wrong here and as a criminal. I'd call the police again and say that your partner unjustly locked you out of your place of living and is keeping your children away from you.
Again...sorry.