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TTC after 35
irishgirl0525
member
(not so) Big fading positive.
irishgirl0525
member
in TTC after 35
I tested again this morning to see if the line would be any darker than yesterday. Bad news, there was barely a second line at all, like I had to squint really hard to see anything and it was like 8-10 minutes after I POAS. I didn't take a picture of it today because I was so bummed, you wouldn't have been able to see anything. I am grasping for straws. Like, maybe yesterday there was still some of the ovidrel left in my system, but now it's gone, and my own hcg is really low so that's why it was super faint. When I had the positive back in May, it was the same kind of faint faint line 13 days past iui, but then I miscarried so it doesn't make me feel much better, even though the line did eventually get darker, even as I was miscarrying so I don't know what to think. I apologize for the rollercoaster, and I am extremely grateful for all of the support you have been giving me.
I feel like I am trying to justify something similar to when you are hoping that a guy is going to call you and he really just isn't but you go through all of these scenarios in your head as to why he is actually dying to call you but hasn't done so yet. Held up at work, death in the family, lost his phone, lost your number...or he's just not that into you. Does that make sense? Maybe I'm just not pregnant. 
TTC since 3/2010. Me 41, DH-49. After 3 years, 6 IUIs and several IVFs we have finally have our beautiful baby girl, born on 11/7/13.
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Re: (not so) Big fading positive.
I really hope that it is just too early for your line to be the correct color. Hugs.
But I have to say I am dying at the "he's just not that into you" comparison. It is truly awesome. It took me forever to meet DH so maybe my embryos just "haven't been that into me yet" but one will eventually like me back if I keep trying!!! I already feel like looking for a donor is like match.com but for an egg donor (not knocking match as that is how I met DH. Maybe that is how I need to meet my baby...)
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
I'm sorry you're going through this roller coaster, but try to stay positive. You're not out yet! You may just be picking up decreasing Ovidrel levels. That's exactly why I don't test early anymore...I got faked out two cycles ago and about lost my mind.
I also really like your "he's just not that into you" metaphor. Too funny!
((hugs)) to you and T&P that you still get your BFP this cycle!
Endometriosis, s/p lap 2009
Behcet's disease, s/p partial vulvectomy 2010
Started bromocriptine to lower prolactin level 2010
Clear HSG 11/2010
DH morphology = 4, rest of SA looked good 01/2011
02/2011 First Clomid 50mg cycle
BFP 03/02/2011
No heartbeat at 10w5d 04/18/2011; D&C 04/23/2011
07/2011 Second Clomid 50mg cycle, BFN
08/2011 Third Clomid 50mg cycle, BFN
10/2011 First Clomid 100mg cycle with Ovidrel trigger = BFN
11/2011 Second Clomid 100mg cycle with Ovidrel trigger = BFN
12/2011 Third Clomid 100mg cycle with Ovidrel trigger = BFFN
01/2012 Fourth Clomid 100mg cycle with Ovidrel trigger = ?
This. I swear the last line of my post was originally "maybe DH's sperm just isn't that into my eggs" but I thought that my whole post was such a pity party that would have put it over the top
I'm glad you liked the comparison, I thought of it this morning when I was in the shower, laughing at myself for the scenarios I was setting up in my head.
Oh, and I had a dream last night that had several babies in it, it was weird, there were a couple of babies that had been left unattended and someone in my dream (possibly me) was scooping them up and hoarding them in an apartment to take care of them. I'm really not sure what all was going on there, but I thought for sure it was a sign of something.
I met DH on match.com as well, so nothing wrong with that in my book! I didn't realize looking for a donor was similar.
Me: 36, DH: 42
Dx: DOR and MFI
DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal
IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!
SAIFW/PAIFW
When I was talking to my RE yesterday, he suggested I pick a new donor because the current one wasn't getting the job done and all I could think was that "he's just not that into me".
We should write a book, "Maybe your just not pregnant."
I'm so sorry though, hon. Fingers crossed for you! ((HUGS))
I am so very sorry that the news was disappointing this morning. However, I am really hoping that this is just a little dip on the coaster and the real results will be a BFP on Thursday. <lots of hugs> I am really, really hoping that this is it for you.
Your comparison makes so much sense to me. It's amazing I can concentrate on anything at all with all the thoughts in my head. You are not alone in playing through tons of scenarios. I think we all do it. In some ways it is an amazing coping mechanism that we need to get through this and yet, at other times, I feel sorta like you described except for me it's "maybe it's just to late".
Prayers that today's test is just simply wrong and Thursday will bring wonderful news!!!
TTC #1 unofficially since 6/09, officially since 10/10
6/11 RE testing,rt tube blocked with hydro, 8/11 lap surgery rt tl
IVF#1 10/11 Estrace,450 Follistim, 15 units low-dose HCG, DHEA - cancelled (only follie growing)
IVF#2 started stims 11/4/11 - same protocol, increase in concentration of HCG, added CoQ10, no response, cancelled on CD 12
12/2/11 began accupuncture; Break in Dec. Next cycle anticipated in Jan.
PAIF/SAIF Welcome
To take your metaphor a step further, he DID call you - yesterday AND today. He just didn't leave a message. Unfortunately, he is in a place with no cell service right now, so the only thing you can do is be there on Thursday when he calls from the payphone.
(sorry, I'm really good at killing metaphors
I am crossing my fingers that he calls on Thursday - then all of your anxiety about the missed calls will fade instantly because he totally wants to go out with you again!
TTC #2 since July 2010
March 2012 IVF (MDL Protocol) Started stims 3/3; ER 3/11 (9R, 8M, 7F) ET 3/16 (5dt of 2 blasts graded 3AB and 3BA, 3 frosties(!!) Beta 3/26 = 386; Beta 3/28 = 827; u/s 4/11 says TWINS! Boy/Girl Twins delivered at 36 weeks 6 days
bummer.
I'm sorry it doesn't look good. ((hugs))
My heart is as open as the sky.
Read about it on the blog
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
Ok, this made me really laugh out loud at my desk. Thank goodness no one is around, they would think I was mad. Love it. And thank you so much ladies for all of the support. It's what we need when boys don't call us back and it's what we need when we are having trouble TTC. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your encouragement, and thoughts and prayers, and know that I am rooting for all of you too.
ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive. Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)
DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!
Thanks! I have tried to be upbeat through this whole journey and I don't always succeed at that.
I just told DH about my little metaphor and he said, "Hmmm, maybe your eggs are treating my sperm the way you treated me when we first met". Jeez I hope not! We dated a few times and then I told him I wasn't ready for him yet and then we became best friends and took a full 2 1/2 years for me to figure out he was the one.
Oh, too funny!! I am totally going with the idea that even though he really likes you, he got a little bit of commitment cold feet and is building up the courage right now to just jump in. ;-P
GOOD luck, my fingers and toes are crossed for you...
This!
IVF #1: 9/13/12. ER: 9/25. 3R, 2M, 1F. ET: 9/28 (1-6B). Beta: moved from 10/11 to 10/10: BFN.
IVF #2: 11/12 cycle postponed due to Sandy and then cancelled due to elevated E2.
IVF #2.1 cancelled due to cyst.
IVF #2.2: 2/2/13. Converted to IUI. BFN
P/SAIF Welcome.
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