Circumcision

PunkRockPrincess1313 · December 2011

You know...

This is something I have never thought about! I have only met one guy who was not cut...but as an adult, I worked editing adult movies for a bit...the compnay I worked for was European and no one was cut. It at first was like woah...but then was like...well..its another penis ...

Personaly...I have no idea what way to go...I will need to do some serious research and probably have some good, frank conversations with men in my life and really develope an opinion.

This thread has been interesting to read.

imimahoney · December 2011

We are because we are Jewish.

JNoelleE · December 2011

Also, the reason why it "freaks people out" is because they are not used to seeing them. If they had only seen them without the procedure done, then it wouldn't be a big deal. I do believe that in 20 years plenty more people, if not most, will not have it done and it wont freak everyone out.

imimahoney · December 2011

racampbell1:
We will absolutely NOT circ if we have a boy this time and didn't plan to last time either. FWIW, I delivered DD in an award winning certified baby friendly hospital and they do not support circ'ing. Meaning they will NOT do it, period. This is the most progressive hospital in my area and it meant a lot to me that they will not do it. DH is not circ'ed, why? Because his mother saw how miserable a family member's son who had been recently cut was and vowed she would never do it to her own children. And she didn't, with any of her 4 boys. None of them have any problems with the ladies, I might add. I had never been with an intact man before DH and do not notice any difference in the bedroom. Yes, the appearance when not aroused is slightly different, but for a grown woman to say an intact man would "freak her out" is really immature. How would you feel if a man got "freaked out" because your labia looked different from someone elses? Please. Obviously I am firmly in the camp that believes circ'ing is genital mutilation. I would never cut my daughter's genitals, and I would never cut my son's either.

I am sorry, but that is a ridiculous statement. The two are NO WHERE near comparison and it only shows ignorance if you compare the two.

TBBrooks · December 2011

pnkfaerie:
This is one of those topics I really get sad seeing on boards only because it causes fights even though OP is generally interested. I myself, was not and am not for Circs. The american Pediatric association has determined that circs now, are for cosmetic purposes. I have many links to share.

Thanks for the links!

PunkRockPrincess1313 · December 2011

pnkfaerie:

This is one of those topics I really get sad seeing on boards only because it causes fights even though OP is generally interested. I myself, was not and am not for Circs. The american Pediatric association has determined that circs now, are for cosmetic purposes. I have many links to share.

https://www.drmomma.org/2010/05/death-from-circumcision.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201109/myths-about-circumcision-you-likely-believe

https://birthwithoutfearblog.com/2011/11/27/the-circumcision-decision/

https://sagaciousmama.wordpress.com/2010/04/20/20-reasons-i-did-not-circumcise-my-son/

https://www.drmomma.org/2011/03/circumcision-gone-wrong-lantz-story.html

https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/pregnancy-childbirth/whether-or-not-circumcise

https://www.drmomma.org/2010/08/us-circumcision-rate-falls-to-33.html
(Good link for those who say "He will get made fun of in the locker room" -.-)

https://www.drmomma.org/2010/04/cervical-cancer-circumcision.html

https://www.drmomma.org/2009/11/breastfeeding-circumcision.html

https://www.drmomma.org/2009/08/plastibell-infant-circumcision.html
(Plaistibell is pushed by doctors as "less painful")

https://www.drmomma.org/2009/09/fatherson-matching-penises-stop.html

https://www.drmomma.org/2009/11/massive-infection-takes-over-body-after.html

https://www.drmomma.org/2009/10/how-male-circumcision-impacts-your-love.html

Also Penn and Teller on circumcision
Part 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLGcqPE7xu0
Part 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI3oa4Mx9hs&feature=related
(It's vulgar but most men enjoy it!)

https://www.drmomma.org/2009/09/functions-of-foreskin-purposes-of.html

https://www.cirp.org/library/anatomy/taylor/

https://www.foreskin.org/immuno.htm

https://www.drmomma.org/2009/11/case-against-circumcision.html

I really hope these help. Please save the foreskin. Foreskin is not a birth defect. It serves a purpose and is simple to take care of. Don't retract, treat it link a finger, only clean what you can see.

As someone who has NO idea what to think or feel about all this...I greatly appreciat the links you are sharing! I will be peaking through them when I get home from work tonight.

So I wanted to quote you so they are in this thread more than once!

Thank you ^_^

beachbum28 · December 2011

JNoelleE:

A lot of you say you think it's important for your son to look like his dad.... This confuses me. Will your husband and son take showers together? Get dressed together? I know we will see our sons and daughters in the nude, and being a women and breastfeeding and whatnot, they will probably see ours when they are really little. But I don't feel like with Dad and Son that is a normal common occurrence. I cant picture my husband walking around naked with our son, or getting dressed together with our son. I honestly can't think of any scenarios where my son will see my Husband's, his Dad's penis.

Also, I remember seeing my mom when I was little, with her huge nasty furry bush. I do not and did not then, have a bush. It did not confuse me that we looked different. I was just grossed out that I saw it. Also I didn't have developed breasts yet- We looked completely different, as she was 30 years older than me. I was 5.

Children don't look like their parents, so I cant see how that is a necessity. And if your son did catch a glimpse at your husbands penis, for whatever reason, couldnt you explain to your son that he had or didn't have a procedure done that his father did or didn't? And you could explain to him why you guys chose to have it done, or not? Do we not explain things to our children?

I don't think its as much as the child looking like dad as dad wants his son to be like him...Your child will become very curious at about 2 or 3 and walk ito the bathroom when daddy is going...My DH has tought our DS to use the potty...I'm not saying my husband flashes it all around he just doesn't make a big deal about it..So DS knows how boys go and girls go and that Daddy has a penis and mommy doesn't. I guess my DH is not modest at all...but he has a close friend that has 2 girls and they would walk in on there dad and say Daddy has a penis...kids are just curious!

Belizelovers · December 2011

My son will be circumcised both me and MH agree! MH is not and the string that holds the skin in place has ripped while we have had sex and has had to have a surgery to fix and we had to go without sex for several months due to continuous tearing. Not only that but he hates it not being done and was teased alot growing up by boys at school. So i am for it but research and do what is best for you'll Wink

hopefulmom81 · December 2011

JNoelleE:
A lot of you say you think it's important for your son to look like his dad.... This confuses me. Will your husband and son take showers together? Get dressed together? I know we will see our sons and daughters in the nude, and being a women and breastfeeding and whatnot, they will probably see ours when they are really little. But I don't feel like with Dad and Son that is a normal common occurrence. I cant picture my husband walking around naked with our son, or getting dressed together with our son. I honestly can't think of any scenarios where my son will see my Husband's, his Dad's penis.
Also, I remember seeing my mom when I was little, with her huge nasty furry bush. I do not and did not then, have a bush. It did not confuse me that we looked different. I was just grossed out that I saw it. Also I didn't have developed breasts yet- We looked completely different, as she was 30 years older than me. I was 5.
Children don't look like their parents, so I cant see how that is a necessity. And if your son did catch a glimpse at your husbands penis, for whatever reason, couldnt you explain to your son that he had or didn't have a procedure done that his father did or didn't? And you could explain to him why you guys chose to have it done, or not? Do we not explain things to our children?

You might be my favorite person EVER. Just the phrase "huge nasty furry bush" TOTALLY reminds me of seeing my mom in the bath tub and not really thinking about it in relation to my own vag. I am DYING over here.

I was saying the same thing in an earlier post. Who needs to have matching genitals to their parents? Just explain circumcision in an age appropriate way. If you don't make a big deal out of a difference, I guarantee a little kid will not either.

PunkRockPrincess1313 · December 2011

hopefulmom81:
I was saying the same thing in an earlier post. Who needs to have matching genitals to their parents? Just explain circumcision in an age appropriate way. If you don't make a big deal out of a difference, I guarantee a little kid will not either.

I think this holds true for ANY difference. I think it is important to not make a big deal about any physical differences at home...they will get enough of that at school.

I was teased about my hair (natural black hair) and teased about the colour of my skin and my eyes and so on...it was horrible...but at home, I knew it was not a big deal.

My mom was Irish with red hair and light skin and freckles ...and she explained our differences and even though I was teased, I felt smarter than the rest of these kids because I knew the science behind my looks and how genetics worked to make me ^_^

ECUGirl2004 · December 2011

So far, at 3.5, my son has not noticed any difference between his penis and his dad's (DH is circ'd, DS isn't). He's also not noticed (or at least not mentioned) that I don't have a penis, or that DH doesn't have breasts. Neither of us are shy about dressing/changing in front of him or using the bathroom around him.

I'm not sure when it will come up, but I am 99.99% sure when I tell my son that I chose not to have a part of his penis removed when he was a baby, he will be happy about it. He seems to be quite fond of his penis as it is.

Lemondrop · December 2011

My DS is circumcised. It is considered with a lot of insurance companies to be an elective procedure. So they may effect your decision. We did have to pay for it but choose to do it anyway for many personal reasons. My DS had no problems with the surgery and was completely fine afterward.

cloud9climber · December 2011

imimahoney:
racampbell1:
We will absolutely NOT circ if we have a boy this time and didn't plan to last time either. FWIW, I delivered DD in an award winning certified baby friendly hospital and they do not support circ'ing. Meaning they will NOT do it, period. This is the most progressive hospital in my area and it meant a lot to me that they will not do it. DH is not circ'ed, why? Because his mother saw how miserable a family member's son who had been recently cut was and vowed she would never do it to her own children. And she didn't, with any of her 4 boys. None of them have any problems with the ladies, I might add. I had never been with an intact man before DH and do not notice any difference in the bedroom. Yes, the appearance when not aroused is slightly different, but for a grown woman to say an intact man would "freak her out" is really immature. How would you feel if a man got "freaked out" because your labia looked different from someone elses? Please. Obviously I am firmly in the camp that believes circ'ing is genital mutilation. I would never cut my daughter's genitals, and I would never cut my son's either.
I am sorry, but that is a ridiculous statement. The two are NO WHERE near comparison and it only shows ignorance if you compare the two.

That's her opinion and mine. If it makes you feel better that you don't think it's mutilation then so be it. Do it because of your religion and you won't feel guilty I suppose. To each their own.

cloud9climber · December 2011

ECUGirl2004:
So far, at 3.5, my son has not noticed any difference between his penis and his dad's (DH is circ'd, DS isn't). He's also not noticed (or at least not mentioned) that I don't have a penis, or that DH doesn't have breasts. Neither of us are shy about dressing/changing in front of him or using the bathroom around him.

I'm not sure when it will come up, but I am 99.99% sure when I tell my son that I chose not to have a part of his penis removed when he was a baby, he will be happy about it. He seems to be quite fond of his penis as it is.

Exactly! Love this.

fyziksgirl · December 2011

farelenore:
If I have a boy, he for SURE will be circ'd. No reason not to; it's not "mutilation" in my opinion, they give the baby anesthesia! And, he won't remember it. Also, my DH's friend had to have a circ in his teens because the foreskin grew back around the penis or something to that affect, and you KNOW he surely felt THAT! (And remembered it!)
I find it crazy that all these men out there haven't been circ'd--although I've only been with 5 guys, they were all circ'd and I've never had a g/f tell me she'd been with a guy who wasn't! (Though I'm from Cali; maybe that has something to do with it! lol)
Plus, in 18 years, some girl will thank my DH and I for doing it!

I...this one is hard to respond to.

Mutilation does not mean torture. You can put someone under anesthesia and cut off their fingers and breasts and it is still mutilation even if you keep them sedated until they are healed. Mutilation means to cause disfigurement or deprive you of a limb or other important body part. People who consider circ genital mutilation do so because they consider the foreskin to be an important body part.

Your argument for circ is....that your DH's friend was circ'd, had a problem with it, and had to get re-circ'd, which was more painful? If he was never circ'd would he have not had the problem? That seems to me to be an argument against circ! Or am I misreading your story? And if we're going anecdotal in argument, my friend worked in preschools for a decade and saw three separate boys who had completely lost the tip of their penis due to a botched circ. Plus a whole host of other more minor problems.There can be potential problems either way.

And no, I do not thank my DH's mom for "doing it." I wish she had not. Due to my own problems sex is still uncomfortable for me (though no longer painful thanks to months of PT) and I would *really* appreciate the extra lubrication a foreskin provides! There's no way to know what you're DS's future partners will want, doing it for an imagined desire on the part of a hypothetical girl is...silly to me.

fyziksgirl · December 2011

imimahoney:
racampbell1:
We will absolutely NOT circ if we have a boy this time and didn't plan to last time either. FWIW, I delivered DD in an award winning certified baby friendly hospital and they do not support circ'ing. Meaning they will NOT do it, period. This is the most progressive hospital in my area and it meant a lot to me that they will not do it. DH is not circ'ed, why? Because his mother saw how miserable a family member's son who had been recently cut was and vowed she would never do it to her own children. And she didn't, with any of her 4 boys. None of them have any problems with the ladies, I might add. I had never been with an intact man before DH and do not notice any difference in the bedroom. Yes, the appearance when not aroused is slightly different, but for a grown woman to say an intact man would "freak her out" is really immature. How would you feel if a man got "freaked out" because your labia looked different from someone elses? Please. Obviously I am firmly in the camp that believes circ'ing is genital mutilation. I would never cut my daughter's genitals, and I would never cut my son's either.
I am sorry, but that is a ridiculous statement. The two are NO WHERE near comparison and it only shows ignorance if you compare the two.

...How is that a ridiculous statement? It is a pretty common stance. So if you're going to attack it, you should include an argument.

At most you could argue it's more damaging to a girl to remove her clitoris than to a boy to remove his foreskin, but there are other kinds of genital mutilation. Removing the labia majora on girls is fairly equivalent to removing the foreskin on boys: they are not necessary, protect the sensitive areas underneath, are hard to keep clean/increase odds of infection, in areas where it's common to not have it done "freaks people out," etc. Yet removing the labia majora is considered genital mutilation, and to remove the foreskin is not.

JNoelleE · December 2011

hopefulmom81:
JNoelleE:
A lot of you say you think it's important for your son to look like his dad.... This confuses me. Will your husband and son take showers together? Get dressed together? I know we will see our sons and daughters in the nude, and being a women and breastfeeding and whatnot, they will probably see ours when they are really little. But I don't feel like with Dad and Son that is a normal common occurrence. I cant picture my husband walking around naked with our son, or getting dressed together with our son. I honestly can't think of any scenarios where my son will see my Husband's, his Dad's penis.
Also, I remember seeing my mom when I was little, with her huge nasty furry bush. I do not and did not then, have a bush. It did not confuse me that we looked different. I was just grossed out that I saw it. Also I didn't have developed breasts yet- We looked completely different, as she was 30 years older than me. I was 5.
Children don't look like their parents, so I cant see how that is a necessity. And if your son did catch a glimpse at your husbands penis, for whatever reason, couldnt you explain to your son that he had or didn't have a procedure done that his father did or didn't? And you could explain to him why you guys chose to have it done, or not? Do we not explain things to our children?
You might be my favorite person EVER. Just the phrase "huge nasty furry bush" TOTALLY reminds me of seeing my mom in the bath tub and not really thinking about it in relation to my own vag. I am DYING over here.
I was saying the same thing in an earlier post. Who needs to have matching genitals to their parents? Just explain circumcision in an age appropriate way. If you don't make a big deal out of a difference, I guarantee a little kid will not either.

Hahaha thank you I'm glad we are on the same page!!

Jnkpnch80 · December 2011

My husband is not. I always assumed he would want our son that way too. But when I brought it up a few years ago he said he wants our son to be. I don't like the idea of it, but I'm going to let him decide if lo is a boy.

deziyou · December 2011

I really haven't done a lot of research on this matter. We circ'd DS simply because all of the men in our families are. I honestly can't see my insurance paying for a cosmetic procedure like that though. They will only pay for one ultrasound my whole pregnancy because anything more than one at 20 weeks to check on the well being of the baby is medically unnecessary according to them. I would think that they would see some sort of long-term benefit to circumsizing, but I haven't done my research so I can't really say what that might be? My FI says he's glad that he was circumsized, and wants any son or sons we have to be circ'd as well. He doesn't feel like his parents allowed him to be mutilated, he says he thinks they did him a favor, but everyone is different! I think that saying that those of us who have sons who are circumsized have allowed our children to be "mutilated" is a little over the top. I simply did what was recommended and what had been done to the rest of the men in my family. I certainly do not feel that I subjected my child to "mutilation"

QueenofAnything · December 2011

farelenore:

If I have a boy, he for SURE will be circ'd. No reason not to; it's not "mutilation" in my opinion, they give the baby anesthesia! And, he won't remember it. Also, my DH's friend had to have a circ in his teens because the foreskin grew back around the penis or something to that affect, and you KNOW he surely felt THAT! (And remembered it!)

I find it crazy that all these men out there haven't been circ'd--although I've only been with 5 guys, they were all circ'd and I've never had a g/f tell me she'd been with a guy who wasn't! (Though I'm from Cali; maybe that has something to do with it! lol)

Plus, in 18 years, some girl will thank my DH and I for doing it!

I certainly wouldn't have. Circ'ed penises get callused from rubbing against boxers, underpants, etc. The foreskin protects the penis from this and makes it more sensitive and makes the skin softer. It's really a personal preference, but I like my men uncut.

H is not circed and if we have a boy, he won't be either.

BelleIsa · December 2011

cloud9climber:

Circumcising for hygiene reasons in unfounded and in my opinion a cop out. I feel circumcision is definitely genital mutilation and that in 20 years most boys will not be circumcised. My OB is against it and hates to perform them. She is from Ireland where almost no one is circ'd.

Circumcision is only popular in the U.S. and is on the decline. Please do the research. I'm SO glad we didn't cut our Son. BTW, my DH is cut.

You're going to get a lot of strong opinions on this one. GL with your decision.

Also, of all the men I know that are not circ'd, none have had problems with infections but 2 men I know (both are gay and very open about talking about it) feel like too much was cut off and they feel a itchy, sometimes painful stretching sensation when erect. Both wish they had their foreskin.

I agree with this 100%. DH is not circ'd and has never has any hygiene issues.

pnkfaerie · December 2011

My husband is not circ'd and having been with my previous bf who was and my husband now who isn't..... I couldn't be with a circ again. Non circ to me is so much better and way more satisfying. I'm glad to see so many against circs, it makes my heart smile.

Jackie2200 · December 2011

We will circumsize if we have a boy. I've seen more penis's than I care to admit and not once have I come across a "hooded viper." I wouldn't want my son's to be the first.

aeonish · December 2011

I am a self-proclaimed "intactivist" and am vehemently against circ'ing. DH is, and wishes he wasn't. Our DS is not, and LO will not be either. All of the arguments I would have brought up have already been made, but I just want to jump in with a couple things (and I strongly recommend looking through those links that a previous poster provided, as they have fantastic information to help you make a decision).

1. Circumcision is NOT recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics, nor any other children's health organization in the world.

2. I strongly feel like it's not mine or my husband's choice to cosmetically remove anything from our son's body, because it's HIS body. if he wants to have it done as an adult, that's his decision and at least we left him with a choice.

3. I don't see a hygiene issue with it any more than with girls. Ladies, once you hit puberty, you learn how to properly wash your vulva, an in order to do that, you have to move some stuff around. Same thing with uncut boys. You wouldn't cut off your daughter's labia majora as an infant just because it's easier to clean, would you?

Whether you decide to or not, all I ask is that you PLEASE DO YOUR RESEARCH and learn as much about it as possible beforehand. Don't just do it because "most boys are" or "that's just how it's done". This is your son's health and body we're talking about. At least respect him enough to make a proper informed decision.

pnkfaerie · December 2011

aeonish:
I am a self-proclaimed "intactivist" and am vehemently against circ'ing. DH is, and wishes he wasn't. Our DS is not, and LO will not be either. All of the arguments I would have brought up have already been made, but I just want to jump in with a couple things (and I strongly recommend looking through those links that a previous poster provided, as they have fantastic information to help you make a decision).
1. Circumcision is NOT recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics, nor any other children's health organization in the world.
2. I strongly feel like it's not mine or my husband's choice to cosmetically remove anything from our son's body, because it's HIS body. if he wants to have it done as an adult, that's his decision and at least we left him with a choice.
3. I don't see a hygiene issue with it any more than with girls. Ladies, once you hit puberty, you learn how to properly wash your vulva, an in order to do that, you have to move some stuff around. Same thing with uncut boys. You wouldn't cut off your daughter's labia majora as an infant just because it's easier to clean, would you?
Whether you decide to or not, all I ask is that you PLEASE DO YOUR RESEARCH and learn as much about it as possible beforehand. Don't just do it because "most boys are" or "that's just how it's done". This is your son's health and body we're talking about. At least respect him enough to make a proper informed decision.

Me too! Are you on FB? There is an Intactivists group there that i'm part of.

racampbell1 · December 2011

aeonish:

I am a self-proclaimed "intactivist" and am vehemently against circ'ing. DH is, and wishes he wasn't. Our DS is not, and LO will not be either. All of the arguments I would have brought up have already been made, but I just want to jump in with a couple things (and I strongly recommend looking through those links that a previous poster provided, as they have fantastic information to help you make a decision).

1. Circumcision is NOT recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics, nor any other children's health organization in the world.

2. I strongly feel like it's not mine or my husband's choice to cosmetically remove anything from our son's body, because it's HIS body. if he wants to have it done as an adult, that's his decision and at least we left him with a choice.

3. I don't see a hygiene issue with it any more than with girls. Ladies, once you hit puberty, you learn how to properly wash your vulva, an in order to do that, you have to move some stuff around. Same thing with uncut boys. You wouldn't cut off your daughter's labia majora as an infant just because it's easier to clean, would you?

Whether you decide to or not, all I ask is that you PLEASE DO YOUR RESEARCH and learn as much about it as possible beforehand. Don't just do it because "most boys are" or "that's just how it's done". This is your son's health and body we're talking about. At least respect him enough to make a proper informed decision.

Slow clap... thank you so much for making these very sensible points!

aeonish · December 2011

pnkfaerie:
aeonish:
I am a self-proclaimed "intactivist" and am vehemently against circ'ing. DH is, and wishes he wasn't. Our DS is not, and LO will not be either. All of the arguments I would have brought up have already been made, but I just want to jump in with a couple things (and I strongly recommend looking through those links that a previous poster provided, as they have fantastic information to help you make a decision).
1. Circumcision is NOT recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics, nor any other children's health organization in the world.
2. I strongly feel like it's not mine or my husband's choice to cosmetically remove anything from our son's body, because it's HIS body. if he wants to have it done as an adult, that's his decision and at least we left him with a choice.
3. I don't see a hygiene issue with it any more than with girls. Ladies, once you hit puberty, you learn how to properly wash your vulva, an in order to do that, you have to move some stuff around. Same thing with uncut boys. You wouldn't cut off your daughter's labia majora as an infant just because it's easier to clean, would you?
Whether you decide to or not, all I ask is that you PLEASE DO YOUR RESEARCH and learn as much about it as possible beforehand. Don't just do it because "most boys are" or "that's just how it's done". This is your son's health and body we're talking about. At least respect him enough to make a proper informed decision.

Me too! Are you on FB? There is an Intactivists group there that i'm part of.

Yes! I'm a fan on "Saving our Sons" and "The Whole Network". They post some great stuff.

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