Circumcision

Ally0812 · December 2011

We find out next week whether we are team pink or blue. I hadn't really thought about circumcising if we are team blue, more just assumed we would. When I brought the topic up with DH he stated that we are not circumcising our bc he is not. I think that we should for Hygiene reasons but understand his point. What is the % of ppl with boys who choose to circumcise??

ECUGirl2004 · December 2011

It varies greatly by state, from what I have read, but I think it's probably somewhere from 50% to 90%. Of course other countries vary significantly. My understanding is that Canada has a much lower circ rate, and the same goes for most European countries.

My son is not circ'd and DS 2 will not be circ'd either. There are no hygeine issues with not being circumcised. Does your husband have hygeine issues? None of the men in my family are circ'd and as far as I know, none of them have had any problems with it.

joshandpanda · December 2011

if we have a boy, we have both decided that he will be circumcised. This is mostly because of hygiene reasons, but personal reasons as well.

Good luck in your decision!

cloud9climber · December 2011

Circumcising for hygiene reasons in unfounded and in my opinion a cop out. I feel circumcision is definitely genital mutilation and that in 20 years most boys will not be circumcised. My OB is against it and hates to perform them. She is from Ireland where almost no one is circ'd.

Circumcision is only popular in the U.S. and is on the decline. Please do the research. I'm SO glad we didn't cut our Son. BTW, my DH is cut.

You're going to get a lot of strong opinions on this one. GL with your decision.

Also, of all the men I know that are not circ'd, none have had problems with infections but 2 men I know (both are gay and very open about talking about it) feel like too much was cut off and they feel a itchy, sometimes painful stretching sensation when erect. Both wish they had their foreskin.

wedsept · December 2011

A male friend of mine who wasn't circumsized had to get circumsized in his 20's because he got an infection. His doctor told him that he got the infection because he wasn't circumsized. We will be circumsizing for health reasons as well.

jordan_nb · December 2011

We are team pink but if it had been team blue we would not have circumcised. My DH isn't and at first I thought it was "different" but when we did research on the subject it definitely is not a necessary procedure. DH hasn't had any "hygenic" issues over the years and neither does the majority of the world's male population, whom are un-circumcised as well.

Do some research of your own and hopefully that will help you and your DH make a decision.

missbrooklyn1 · December 2011

cloud9climber:
Circumcising for hygiene reasons in unfounded and in my opinion a cop out. I feel circumcision is definitely genital mutilation and that in 20 years most boys will not be circumcised. My OB is against it and hates to perform them. She is from Ireland where almost no one is circ'd.
Circumcision is only popular in the U.S. and is on the decline. Please do the research. I'm SO glad we didn't cut our Son. BTW, my DH is cut.
You're going to get a lot of strong opinions on this one. GL with your decision.
Also, of all the men I know that are not circ'd, none have had problems with infections.

This. Exactly. In my opinion, It is a soon-to-be outdated, socially acceptable form of genital mutilation. My nephew before and after his circumcision was the only object lesson I needed to decide against it; he went from a quiet, happy baby to a whimpering, injured baby and it was so hard to see. At least half of the men that I've been with weren't circ'd, my brothers are not circ'd and I've never heard of a hygiene issue; it's pretty easy to clean, it just takes some education. I am so grateful that my FI is anti-circumcision (even though he, himself is circ'd) and that we don't have to battle that one out should we have a boy. This IS a hot button topic and I'm definitely very opinionated about it - in case you didn't notice : p

stemms8810 · December 2011

We don't know if we are having a boy or a girl yet but I always thought if we are having a boy we will have him circumcised. We haven't discussed it in depth yet because we don't know if it's a boy but when talked about in passing that seems like the way we will go. My H is circumcised so I am assuming he doesn't have a problem with it and he hasn't said he does.

cgdolphin21 · December 2011

I am team blue and I have always known we would circumcise if I had a boy cause his dad is. I think that it is important for young boys to see that they are just like their dad. I wouldnt have made the decision based on hygenic reasons cause I think that is not true. If you clean and teach your child to clean properly they shouldnt have issues.

deziyou · December 2011

wedsept:
A male friend of mine who wasn't circumsized had to get circumsized in his 20's because he got an infection. His doctor told him that he got the infection because he wasn't circumsized. We will be circumsizing for health reasons as well.

A friend of mine's son had to undergo the same thing in his teenage years, and was told it was because he hadn't been circumsized as a baby. I don't know anyone personally besides this one friend who hasn't cir'd their son. My son is circumsized as well as my FI and all the men in our families. I honestly think it's a personal choice. There are probably benefits to both sides. My doctor is a male who has had over 30 years of experience and did a great job on DS. He had no problems and wasn't even crying when he was brought back to me. Talk it over with your DH and your doctor, then go from there.

Chelsey68 · December 2011

Well i guess you will get alot of strong opinions on this subject. We circumcised our son and i never thought twice about it. I guess for me i was just raised that that is what you do. The hospital also said almost all boys born there were circumcised, but then we are a small town. To come across a guy in there twenties or so not circumcised is a rare thing here.

beachbum28 · December 2011

My Dh is not and my DS is not...I left it up to my DH as I don't have those parts and thought he would have a better understanding as to what is the best for our DS....My Dh feeling is that if it was ment to be there why remove it! Oh no hygiene issues at all!

bbetson · December 2011

We haven't found out yet if we are having a boy or a girl, but if it is a boy he will not be getting circumcised. I just don't agree with the practice.

annerz22 · December 2011

You really need to do your own research and figure out what is best for you and what you are most comfortable with. It's a very personal decision.

IF LO is a boy, we will circumcise. DH is Jewish and in his religion and culture, this is what you do. Also, DH and I felt that it would be important for LO to look like his dad. However, we will be getting this done in a hospital setting done by a surgeon and not just some pediatrician with clippers.

I have done my research and truthfully, I think as long as you keep the area clean and teach your son how to clean himself properly, there isn't much of a chance for infection. Truthfully, I would think cleaning a girl between all of the folds would be more difficult to do than to keep a boys foreskin clean.

hopefulmom81 · December 2011

cgdolphin21:
I am team blue and I have always known we would circumcise if I had a boy cause his dad is. I think that it is important for young boys to see that they are just like their dad. I wouldnt have made the decision based on hygenic reasons cause I think that is not true. If you clean and teach your child to clean properly they shouldnt have issues.

I kind of don't get this. They both have penises so what is the big deal if they look exactly the same? I don't know how many times your DS is going to actually look and study your DH's penis either. I have read this argument and always feel confused by it. If the child notices a difference, can't you just explain why they look different? It isn't that complicated?

I didn't look super closely at my mom's vagina enough to compare if they were different growing up?

fyziksgirl · December 2011

In America it is now about 50-50 in terms of circumcising vs not, and circumcising is the minority in most of the rest of the world (in other words, the rest of the "civilized world" mostly doesn't circumcise). I absolutely will not be, to me it is genital mutilation. It is more hygienic in the same way removing the labia majora of a girl is, but we wouldn't do that. The benefits and risks of circumcision are about equal for doing it and not, and I can't imagine putting my newborn through cosmetic surgery that will permanently alter his genitals for no good reason.

wheelsonthebus · December 2011

cloud9climber:

Circumcising for hygiene reasons in unfounded and in my opinion a cop out. I feel circumcision is definitely genital mutilation and that in 20 years most boys will not be circumcised. My OB is against it and hates to perform them. She is from Ireland where almost no one is circ'd.

Circumcision is only popular in the U.S. and is on the decline. Please do the research. I'm SO glad we didn't cut our Son. BTW, my DH is cut.

You're going to get a lot of strong opinions on this one. GL with your decision.

Also, of all the men I know that are not circ'd, none have had problems with infections but 2 men I know (both are gay and very open about talking about it) feel like too much was cut off and they feel a itchy, sometimes painful stretching sensation when erect. Both wish they had their foreskin.

I agree with this. I had never thought about it until I found out I was expecting a boy(DS). DH is circ'd, but said that he did NOT want our son to be. I started doing research and not only did I find out that not a single male on my side of the family is circ'd, but I also did NOT like what I found during my research. Circumcision is a cosmetic procedure.

You will get a lot of people for both sides of this very touchy subject, but all I can say is do your research. If you are at all in doubt, why not leave the choice up to your son. It's his body. It should be his choice. As for cleanliness, it's like anything else on our bodies. Good hygiene is all that matters. You teach your child to clean himself. It's that simple. I have had NO problems with my intact son. I feel so happy and blessed that I left him intact. It's completely effortless to take care of. You wash the outside only. No wounds to clean after you bring your child home from the hospital. It's really so easy.

easjer05 · December 2011

I think very few of my friends circumsised. I know that one friend did for the same reason my sister did - which actually wasn't circumcision but a penile repair of the urethra that required use of the foreskin.

DH and I went back and forth over this when I was pregnant with my son. I have no strong feeling on the subject and leaned vaguely towards circumcision. DH is circ'd and that was normal, but when he began researching, he felt torn. At that point we figured we'd see whether or not it was covered by insurance and make a decision from there, leaning towards not.

We haven't discussed it again, but I think we are both inclined to leave things alone (the penis can be properly cleaned with proper education) and let the kiddo decide later if he wants to be circumcised. Same way we feel about ear piercing and other body modifications for either sex.

redheadinlove · December 2011

We absolutely won't. There's no reason for it.

ECUGirl2004 · December 2011

hopefulmom81:

cgdolphin21:
I am team blue and I have always known we would circumcise if I had a boy cause his dad is. I think that it is important for young boys to see that they are just like their dad. I wouldnt have made the decision based on hygenic reasons cause I think that is not true. If you clean and teach your child to clean properly they shouldnt have issues.

I kind of don't get this. They both have penises so what is the big deal if they look exactly the same? I don't know how many times your DS is going to actually look and study your DH's penis either. I have read this argument and always feel confused by it. If the child notices a difference, can't you just explain why they look different? It isn't that complicated?

I didn't look super closely at my mom's vagina enough to compare if they were different growing up?

I have to say, I completely agree with this. I have flat out asked DH if he remembers what his dad's penis looks like, and he said no. The way I see it is that all humans look different. My mom, sister and I all have different bra sizes and if I ever looked at either of their labias, I'd imagine they're quite different from mine as well.

One thing that I didn't really understand before I did the research before my son was born is that the foreskin is a functioning body part. It's kind of like the eyelid for the penis. It provides lubrication for the penis. It is not "extra" skin. It's skin that allows the penis to have an erection comfortably. Here's a decent website with some info (may not be safe for work, depending on your work's security levels) - https://www.circumstitions.com/Works.html

mrskinsler04 · December 2011

We would, although I don't care either way. DH had several guys that he was deployed with get infections because they had no showers for several weeks and I guess you only have so many baby wipes. (this hasn't been a problem since they have more stable combat post with water) DH is cut so I'm sure that has to do with part of it.

Medicaid no longer covers it and there has been an increase in uncircumsized boys since. So if you feel like your child would be the only one that isn't that clearly won't be the case by the time our children get to that age. I'm pretty sure it will be 50/50 by some point.

It's a lot like breastfeeding, its a family choice and there is no right or wrong reason TO DO or NOT TO do it imho.

mrskinsler04 · December 2011

BTW maybe its just because I don't know some of you IRL but you come across kind of rude.

fyziksgirl · December 2011

wedsept:
A male friend of mine who wasn't circumsized had to get circumsized in his 20's because he got an infection. His doctor told him that he got the infection because he wasn't circumsized. We will be circumsizing for health reasons as well.

I had to go to physical therapy for about 8 months and see a few doctors because sex was so painful for me because I was "too tight." This is not *that* uncommon a phenomenon (my PT specialized in this problem, there is that much demand). However, that does not mean I think we should give all newborn girls episiotomies that are repaired "loosely" to avoid this problem and the potential months of painful treatment in the future.

By this logic, why not also remove their appendix, gall bladder, etc. as newborns because they may become infected later?

Even as someone who "suffered" from not having preventitive work done when I was a newborn, I cannot understand doing elective surgery on all newborns so that some might not have to have surgery or undergo other treatments in the future.

bloverde · December 2011

I love the argument that you want him to "look like dad." What happens when the kid has brown hair and dad is blonde? Kids understand (more so than adults most of the time) that people come in all shapes and sizes.

TBsquared · December 2011

cgdolphin21:
I am team blue and I have always known we would circumcise if I had a boy cause his dad is. I think that it is important for young boys to see that they are just like their dad. I wouldnt have made the decision based on hygenic reasons cause I think that is not true. If you clean and teach your child to clean properly they shouldnt have issues.

i agree with the above, but i wont be circumcising as my DH isnt - so baby and daddy will be the same

panda10 · December 2011

My nephew is not circumcised, and I think that he's harder to clean than a circumcised boy. I plan to do have my son circumcised.

farelenore · December 2011

If I have a boy, he for SURE will be circ'd. No reason not to; it's not "mutilation" in my opinion, they give the baby anesthesia! And, he won't remember it. Also, my DH's friend had to have a circ in his teens because the foreskin grew back around the penis or something to that affect, and you KNOW he surely felt THAT! (And remembered it!)

I find it crazy that all these men out there haven't been circ'd--although I've only been with 5 guys, they were all circ'd and I've never had a g/f tell me she'd been with a guy who wasn't! (Though I'm from Cali; maybe that has something to do with it! lol)

Plus, in 18 years, some girl will thank my DH and I for doing it! Wink

ChristieNRN · December 2011

We plan on getting our son circ'd in the hospital.

ECUGirl2004 · December 2011

farelenore:

If I have a boy, he for SURE will be circ'd. No reason not to; it's not "mutilation" in my opinion, they give the baby anesthesia! And, he won't remember it. Also, my DH's friend had to have a circ in his teens because the foreskin grew back around the penis or something to that affect, and you KNOW he surely felt THAT! (And remembered it!)

I find it crazy that all these men out there haven't been circ'd--although I've only been with 5 guys, they were all circ'd and I've never had a g/f tell me she'd been with a guy who wasn't! (Though I'm from Cali; maybe that has something to do with it! lol)

Plus, in 18 years, some girl will thank my DH and I for doing it!

That comment is so incredibly offensive and rude. My dad is not circumcised, and my mom has been married to him for almost 40 years. She seems to be quite happy with her decision AND decided not to circ her son (my brother). One of my best male friends is not circ'd and he and his wife seem to have a very happy sex life (and he was always pretty busy with the ladies,so I imagine he was doing things right in the bedroom).

Not to mention, if some girl in 18 years has an issue with my son's penis, she's obviously not the right girl for him. Just like if some guy had told me when I was 18 that my boobs were too big/small or my labia looked weird... well that would just be offensive and wrong.

Also, as for the cleaning, at this age (my son is 3.5) all you have to do is wipe the penis like a finger. It's just like cleaning a circ'd penis at this point (I'd imagine, I've never done it). Forcible retraction is never recommended.

bobbs420 · December 2011

Both DH and DS are circ'ed. If this LO is a boy, he will be as well. More and more people are not doing it, but I also think it varies by region and beliefs, as well as personal reasons.

cloud9climber · December 2011

panda10:
My nephew is not circumcised, and I think that he's harder to clean than a circumcised boy. I plan to do have my son circumcised.

I'm just interested in knowing... how do *you* clean it? I've never once pulled back my son's foreskin to clean it. You aren't supposed to. You just leave it alone. So how do you do it??

wheelsonthebus · December 2011

ECUGirl2004:
farelenore:

If I have a boy, he for SURE will be circ'd. No reason not to; it's not "mutilation" in my opinion, they give the baby anesthesia! And, he won't remember it. Also, my DH's friend had to have a circ in his teens because the foreskin grew back around the penis or something to that affect, and you KNOW he surely felt THAT! (And remembered it!)

I find it crazy that all these men out there haven't been circ'd--although I've only been with 5 guys, they were all circ'd and I've never had a g/f tell me she'd been with a guy who wasn't! (Though I'm from Cali; maybe that has something to do with it! lol)

Plus, in 18 years, some girl will thank my DH and I for doing it!

That comment is so incredibly offensive and rude. My dad is not circumcised, and my mom has been married to him for almost 40 years. She seems to be quite happy with her decision AND decided not to circ her son (my brother). One of my best male friends is not circ'd and he and his wife seem to have a very happy sex life (and he was always pretty busy with the ladies,so I imagine he was doing things right in the bedroom).

Not to mention, if some girl in 18 years has an issue with my son's penis, she's obviously not the right girl for him. Just like if some guy had told me when I was 18 that my boobs were too big/small or my labia looked weird... well that would just be offensive and wrong.

Also, as for the cleaning, at this age (my son is 3.5) all you have to do is wipe the penis like a finger. It's just like cleaning a circ'd penis at this point (I'd imagine, I've never done it). Forcible retraction is never recommended.

Totally. It's considered rude to talk about the negatives to circumcision, but comments like the one above are considered ok.

There are studies showing that "female arousal disorder" is linked to circumcision and that women who had sex with an intact man were twice as likely to orgasm during sex. So maybe ladies will be thankful for THAT!

farelenore · December 2011

wheelsonthebus:
ECUGirl2004:
farelenore:

If I have a boy, he for SURE will be circ'd. No reason not to; it's not "mutilation" in my opinion, they give the baby anesthesia! And, he won't remember it. Also, my DH's friend had to have a circ in his teens because the foreskin grew back around the penis or something to that affect, and you KNOW he surely felt THAT! (And remembered it!)

I find it crazy that all these men out there haven't been circ'd--although I've only been with 5 guys, they were all circ'd and I've never had a g/f tell me she'd been with a guy who wasn't! (Though I'm from Cali; maybe that has something to do with it! lol)

Plus, in 18 years, some girl will thank my DH and I for doing it!

That comment is so incredibly offensive and rude. My dad is not circumcised, and my mom has been married to him for almost 40 years. She seems to be quite happy with her decision AND decided not to circ her son (my brother). One of my best male friends is not circ'd and he and his wife seem to have a very happy sex life (and he was always pretty busy with the ladies,so I imagine he was doing things right in the bedroom).

Not to mention, if some girl in 18 years has an issue with my son's penis, she's obviously not the right girl for him. Just like if some guy had told me when I was 18 that my boobs were too big/small or my labia looked weird... well that would just be offensive and wrong.

Also, as for the cleaning, at this age (my son is 3.5) all you have to do is wipe the penis like a finger. It's just like cleaning a circ'd penis at this point (I'd imagine, I've never done it). Forcible retraction is never recommended.

Totally. It's considered rude to talk about the negatives to circumcision, but comments like the one above are considered ok.

There are studies showing that "female arousal disorder" is linked to circumcision and that women who had sex with an intact man were twice as likely to orgasm during sex. So maybe ladies will be thankful for THAT!

Whatev. I was trying to interject a little levity into the waaayy too intense conversation, (attack), but see it as you will. It would freak me out, I'll admit, but if it doesn't freak you out, more power to you. Live and let live!

racampbell1 · December 2011

We will absolutely NOT circ if we have a boy this time and didn't plan to last time either. FWIW, I delivered DD in an award winning certified baby friendly hospital and they do not support circ'ing. Meaning they will NOT do it, period. This is the most progressive hospital in my area and it meant a lot to me that they will not do it. DH is not circ'ed, why? Because his mother saw how miserable a family member's son who had been recently cut was and vowed she would never do it to her own children. And she didn't, with any of her 4 boys. None of them have any problems with the ladies, I might add. I had never been with an intact man before DH and do not notice any difference in the bedroom. Yes, the appearance when not aroused is slightly different, but for a grown woman to say an intact man would "freak her out" is really immature. How would you feel if a man got "freaked out" because your labia looked different from someone elses? Please. Obviously I am firmly in the camp that believes circ'ing is genital mutilation. I would never cut my daughter's genitals, and I would never cut my son's either.

farelenore · December 2011

racampbell1:
Yes, the appearance when not aroused is slightly different, but for a grown woman to say an intact man would "freak her out" is really immature. How would you feel if a man got "freaked out" because your labia looked different from someone elses?

So then in your eyes, I'm immature. Deal with it. I really don't care. I was just sharing MY opinion. Mine. I don't agree with your opinion, but I'm not going to sit there and attack you over it. So don't circ your son...whoopee!

TBBrooks · December 2011

DH is adamant that if we have a son, he will be circ'd. His father had to be circumcised at 55 years old because of an infection, which apparently was incredibly painful and had a difficult recovery. DH is circ'd because he had to have a urethral surgery a few days after birth anyway.

Honestly, I haven't done much research on it. I consider it basically a cosmetic surgery, which I don't see as necessary for a newborn.

I will mostly leave the decision up to DH because I understand his concern. I do hope that he will consider some of the research on it, though, so that he can make an informed decision rather than one based in fear. Anyone with useful info/articles, feel free to send them my way!

racampbell1 · December 2011

farelenore:

racampbell1:
Yes, the appearance when not aroused is slightly different, but for a grown woman to say an intact man would "freak her out" is really immature. How would you feel if a man got "freaked out" because your labia looked different from someone elses?

So then in your eyes, I'm immature. Deal with it. I really don't care. I was just sharing MY opinion. Mine. I don't agree with your opinion, but I'm not going to sit there and attack you over it. So don't circ your son...whoopee!

Yes, very immature. You're entitled to your opinion, but if you're going to be a mother, you might want to grow up a bit.

farelenore · December 2011

racampbell1:
farelenore:

racampbell1:
Yes, the appearance when not aroused is slightly different, but for a grown woman to say an intact man would "freak her out" is really immature. How would you feel if a man got "freaked out" because your labia looked different from someone elses?

So then in your eyes, I'm immature. Deal with it. I really don't care. I was just sharing MY opinion. Mine. I don't agree with your opinion, but I'm not going to sit there and attack you over it. So don't circ your son...whoopee!

Yes, very immature. You're entitled to your opinion, but if you're going to be a mother, you might want to grow up a bit.

Ahh, well I'll take your expert opinion under advisement. Since...you do know SO MUCH about me/my situation/my life. Wink

pnkfaerie · December 2011

This is one of those topics I really get sad seeing on boards only because it causes fights even though OP is generally interested. I myself, was not and am not for Circs. The american Pediatric association has determined that circs now, are for cosmetic purposes. I have many links to share.

I really hope these help. Please save the foreskin. Foreskin is not a birth defect. It serves a purpose and is simple to take care of. Don't retract, treat it link a finger, only clean what you can see.

JNoelleE · December 2011

A lot of you say you think it's important for your son to look like his dad.... This confuses me. Will your husband and son take showers together? Get dressed together? I know we will see our sons and daughters in the nude, and being a women and breastfeeding and whatnot, they will probably see ours when they are really little. But I don't feel like with Dad and Son that is a normal common occurrence. I cant picture my husband walking around naked with our son, or getting dressed together with our son. I honestly can't think of any scenarios where my son will see my Husband's, his Dad's penis.

Also, I remember seeing my mom when I was little, with her huge nasty furry bush. I do not and did not then, have a bush. It did not confuse me that we looked different. I was just grossed out that I saw it. Also I didn't have developed breasts yet- We looked completely different, as she was 30 years older than me. I was 5.

Children don't look like their parents, so I cant see how that is a necessity. And if your son did catch a glimpse at your husbands penis, for whatever reason, couldnt you explain to your son that he had or didn't have a procedure done that his father did or didn't? And you could explain to him why you guys chose to have it done, or not? Do we not explain things to our children?

beachbum28 · December 2011

panda10:
My nephew is not circumcised, and I think that he's harder to clean than a circumcised boy. I plan to do have my son circumcised.

You clean the baby that is uncircumcised as you would a circumcised baby the skin can not be pulled back until they are older...if you try you will hurt your child...My DS skin could not be pulled back until he was at least one...Personaly I think keeping little girls clean and infection free is harder than boys!! My neices have all ready had many uti's from learning to use the potty and not wiping themselves right. It is a choice but to choose based on cleaning your child is silly!

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