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Told my ex not to come to doctor appointments anymore
He flipped, which I knew he was going to do! I just dont think its fair that im still trying to move on and have to see him. He has gone and started a new relationship and everything all in a matter a 3 weeks of us breaking up. I just need my time to move on and get through this stress free. First he said he understands that I need my time but then he is like we dont have to talk or acknowledge each other at the appointments, yeah we can but I rather not be in your presence at all right now. Then he said well I dont want to be around you either, I said just pretend I dont exist and he says I already pretend you dont exist, ok so whats the issue if I tell you not to come to the appointments???
Of course the next thing he says is no matter how much I try to forget him, ill never get over him and ill never find someone to treat me better than him etc. I told him get off his high horse and dont worry about who I end up with. He says he is coming to my appointment Tuesday. But after this one, im not giving him info on my next appointments because I dont want him there, if she was physically here thats one thing but she isnt yet and I need my time. How did you all deal with your exes wanting to attend doctors appointments?
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Re: Told my ex not to come to doctor appointments anymore
STBXH is in jail so I won't have to worry about him coming to my appointments. If he wasn't he still wouldn't know when and where they were.
Easy solution? STOP telling him when and where your appointments are. They are YOUR appointments, not his. You do not have to tell him. He is not required to know any appointments if you don't want him to. I also think that if you tell your doctor he is not welcome he will not be allowed in the room.
It seems you keep giving him your information and not doing squat about it when you feel he is intruding. If you do not want him at your appointment then he cannot be there. Period. You two do not have to keep in contact just because you are pregnant. From here on out, ignore his calls, texts, emails, anything and record and document all communication. It will come in handy after your child is born (which you are also not required to tell him when and where you are delivering).
I agree with the PP.
You've already told him he isn't welcome at your appointments. If he shows up on Tuesday ignore him. Tell the person at check in that you want to make it known he is not permitted to be in your appointment with you. If he tries to go back with you, just inform him he isn't welcome but you will update him if there is any news about LOs health. Then walk in. Don't tell him about any other doctors appointments.
You do NOT have to let him go to doctor's appointments, or even be in the delivery room for that matter. Obviously this is not helping you have a healthy, stress-free remainder of your pregnancy. Cut OFF contact with him. You will have to deal with him soon enough once the baby comes, but for now there is no reason to communicate.
As far as his lines about you never getting over him, finding someone else, etc....that's classic manipulation and the VERY reason why you should not have contact with him. I'd plan on having a trusted friend or family member in the delivery room with you. Don't contact him until after you've had LO. This is about YOU and having him around isn't going to be in you or LO's best interests because he's causing you distress.
A common misconception is that your baby's father has a right to your pregnancy. He doesn't. He doesn't have the rights to be at your appts. He doesn't have the right to be at the delivery. He doesn't have the right the information regarding your pregnancy. Technically, he doesn't have ANY rights until the baby is born, and even then, only if paternity is established at the hospital. You don't even have to put him on the birth certificate if you don't want to.
Tell your OB's office at your next visit what is going on, and they won't let him in and won't provide any info to him.
I provide the baby's father with updates to major events. Like my bloodwork results or that the amnio was complication free or that they think I'm having a boy. And, I do it in email. Not text. Not phone. Not in person. I've told the OB I don't want him in delivery or even at the hospital, and that I don't want him on the birth certificate. They've marked all that in my file.