Question for those married/engaged NTR

sschwege · December 2011

I was thinking today about when my DH proposed and thought about how he asked my dad first before proposing. When I found out later I thought it was a sweet gesture and I know my dad appreciated it. Just curious how often this happens now in our modern day society. Did your husband-to-be ask your dad/mom for their blessing or permission? If so did you find it a nice gesture or did it leave a bad taste in your mouth. For those of you whose husbands didn't did you wish they had?

KoalaBear103 · December 2011

I highly doubt he did-if he did no one told me. I don't really wish he did, though I do think it would've been nice.

OregonPachey · December 2011

Yes my DH called my dad (he lives on the East Coast) and asked permission. He asked my mom too. I thought it was an amazing gesture.

Army~Wife · December 2011

Mine did and I find it to be very honorable. My dad had a greater appreciation for DH. Sadly, my dad passed 6 months before our wedding but I will always be grateful the my husband showed my father sincere respect in asking 1st.

ashnoelle · December 2011

I don't like the history behind the gesture. SO will not be asking my father when the time comes.

Smootchy · December 2011

he did ask. and my dad said, "are you sure you want to marry her.. She's use to being spoiled."

Thanks dad.

LaurelBee · December 2011

You should make this a clicky- it'll get more replies! But to answer your question- Yes, Dh did ask my father before.

haleyjean84 · December 2011

DH called my parents and asked to meet them for dinner. When I found out he did that, I thought that was such a nice gesture and made me very happy. I think its a respectful thing to do, but I wouldn't have turned him down had he not done that.

BeachBum73 · December 2011

My husband asked my Dad because he knew that it would be important to him and I was touched that he did it. I think it depends on the relationship between the Dad and daughter.

rach10782 · December 2011

My husband asked my parents permission. He also had them hold onto the ring until he was ready to propose because we were already living together. I found out later my mom, my sister and my moms entire office staff tried on the ring before I got it. I found that very funny.

mocklerja · December 2011

He did talk to my dad before he proposed. My dad later said it was the hardest secret to keep from my mom.

beevs98 · December 2011

my husband asked my mom for permission before asking me! He also got down on one knee to propose since I am traditional!!!

ToBeClements · December 2011

DH did, the day before. And my dad would have flipped out if he didn't, and I probably would have too. My dad is just very old fashioned, and I'm very happy my DH respected my dads wishes.

CD+AL · December 2011

My DH did, and for tradition sake, I'm glad that he did. It wouldn't have stopped either of us if they had said no, but I feel like it's a respecting your elders thing to ask for the blessing.

delg23 · December 2011

Yes he did. But my husband is traditional like that. Though if my dad said no, I'm sure it wouldn't have stopped him! But there was no danger of that.

ashnoelle · December 2011

omg, where are the liberals? I can't be the only anti-ask-dad-to-get-married person can I?

scoutkate · December 2011

He planned to ask my dad before proposing, but I found the ring and threw his plans off. He ended up calling my dad within an hour of us getting engaged. My dad and I both appreciated the gesture. I see it as a show of respect for my dad more than anything.

hmp1 · December 2011

He asked. My parents really appreciated the gesture so it made me happy.

wonkatalia · December 2011

DH did ask my dad for permission. We're southern so it's pretty much expected here. That being said, I told him specifically that he didn't have to. My dad and I were not very close. My dad even told DH that I was a grown woman (26 at the time) and it was completely my decision but he had his blessing.

Bailey81 · December 2011

I'd have been pissed if he'd asked for permission.

ashnoelle · December 2011

Bailey81:
I'd have been pissed if he'd asked for permission.

Thank you!

bridetobe920 · December 2011

My DH asked both of my parents actually, and I thought it was very sweet. I have been married before, actually, and moved out when I was 18, so it obviously wasn't "neccessary" persay. Still, this is DH's first (and hopefully ONLY) marriage, and I loved that he wanted to do something traditional despite my previous marriage.

SGC29 · December 2011

My husband did not ask, and I am happy he did not. I don't view my Dad as a role model so his "blessing" on something does not hold much weight.

NativeNyer · December 2011

Yes my DH asked my parents even though we were both over 30 yrs old. My parents didn't really approve because he was divorced. I sort of wished he hadn't because it caused a lot of tension for the first few years.

XCrissCrossX · December 2011

Bailey81:
I'd have been pissed if he'd asked for permission.

Me too. Women aren't property anymore.

Plus, my relationship with my dad was pretty awful then.

Gracey_Manor Maid · December 2011

permission no but her did ask for his blessing. I thought it was sweet and I know my dad appreciated it.

bobbs420 · December 2011

DH asked my dad first, and I thought it was nice that he did.

seahorse102410 · December 2011

My dad is no longer living so he asked my mom for the blessing. I don't think people see it as permission anymore we're asking for a blessing.

AgrippaRidesAgain · December 2011

No, he didn't, and it didn't/doesn't bother me at all. While my dad would have been flattered, he probably would have told DH to go and ask me himself, LOL.

lindylogana · December 2011

My husband didn't ask my dad, but he told my parents

LittleGus · December 2011

XcrisscrossX:
Bailey81:
I'd have been pissed if he'd asked for permission.

Me too. Women aren't property anymore.

Plus, my relationship with my dad was pretty awful then.

I think you're taking it a bit too literally. My DH went to my parents with his intentions because he's traditional in that sense. I'm very close with my parents and thought it was a nice gesture.

naflmj · December 2011

He did ask my dad, while they were golfing. My dad said we were adults and he'd support whatever we both wanted.

ETA: I think Ask is the wrong word, blessing or discussing intentions is more how it happened.

shibby00 · December 2011

Yes he did ask and I am so glad that he did. I love that he thought it out and talked to my Dad. Of course had my Dad said no for whatever reason we still would have gotten married, lol. But my Dad said the same thing that my Mother's Dad said to him "if it suits her, then it suits me just fine". I love how that tradition was carried on and I hope someday that DD's future husband asks my DH for her hand. I think it's very romantic. JMO.

kristinem17 · December 2011

My father passed away earlier in the year before we got engaged - but even if he had been alive DH would not have asked him for permission or blessing. I never expected that nor thought that was something that he needed/had to do. IMO, it's an old fashion tradition that not all choose to take part in. IMO it might have made sense if was young and/or still living at home or still being supported by my parents in some way - but none of those scenarios were the case with me. When DH proposed I was 32 years old and hadn't lived at home since I was 18. No need to ask for permission/blessing from my parents. All he needed was my permission:)

[Deleted User] · December 2011

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mbgreenwalt · December 2011

No, he didn't ask. I didn't care.

jpsen · December 2011

H didnt ask. I dont really care that he didnt, but I think it would have been nice.

jastl32 · December 2011

DH did not ask for my dad's approval. We were both older. He was 33 and I was 29 when we got married. We both had careers, owned our own houses, etc. and just felt it wasn't necessary. I had no issues whatsoever and liked that I was able to surprise my parents with the news. Now, if I told him he needed to or it was important to me, I think he would have out of respect for my wishes, but I really didn't care.

pink.dutch.tulips · December 2011

my brother asked for permission but that's b/c his wife is very traditional in that way.

us girls, i don't think that our hs asked our parents for their blessing. i know mine didn't and i was fine w/ it. i'm not super close to my dad and quite frankly the only approval h needed was mine.

wtiger9 · December 2011

My DH asked my dad. I thought it was sweet, but I would not have been upset if he didn't. I think it really impressed my dad though.

nealbl · December 2011

we had been dating for 8 years and owned a home. We were already living the married life. My family loves DH and he really worked hard to make it a surprise so no he didn't ask my Dad.

The joke now is my Dad said he would have said no b/c he likes DH too much.

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