DH.. favoritism? Help!

J&A2008 · December 2011

Saran:
J&A2008:
Saran:
Look, b--ch, I refuse to spell check on a message board. I type very fast and it is what it is. What you dont want to do, is f--ck with me tonight! I do not have time for your "spell check is your friend" speech. It is what it is, so I suggest you step the F---k off! You want to act simple with me, and it will not be fun for you around here. Promise you that. So mind your business. Better yet, go do something constructive but do not talk to me.

Maybe your H can help you with your rage.

Maybe you can take my advice and walk away before you get your feelings hurt up in here. Stop talking to me. And if you need that put in another language so you understand, please let me know.

I'm not going to get my feelings hurt, and I really don't want yours hurt, either. It is kind of silly to tell me to mind my business when you keep replying to my posts, since then it does kind of look like my business.

I am genuinely curious if you have something against adoption? It seems to really be a hot issue with you.

I can say I am a fan, only because I personally know seven families who are my friends who have adopted children out of foster care who couldn't be happier with their children, some in my extended family. (Eight if you count my SSs' BM's younger children's adoptive family.) I've seen firsthand the joy of the adoptive parents and how lovely and complete their families are. In five of these families, those children are their only children, and only opportunity they would have had to have children.

Saran · December 2011

J&A2008:
Saran:
J&A2008:
Saran:
Look, b--ch, I refuse to spell check on a message board. I type very fast and it is what it is. What you dont want to do, is f--ck with me tonight! I do not have time for your "spell check is your friend" speech. It is what it is, so I suggest you step the F---k off! You want to act simple with me, and it will not be fun for you around here. Promise you that. So mind your business. Better yet, go do something constructive but do not talk to me.

Maybe your H can help you with your rage.

Maybe you can take my advice and walk away before you get your feelings hurt up in here. Stop talking to me. And if you need that put in another language so you understand, please let me know.

I'm not going to get my feelings hurt, and I really don't want yours hurt, either. It is kind of silly to tell me to mind my business when you keep replying to my posts, since then it does kind of look like my business.

I am genuinely curious if you have something against adoption? It seems to really be a hot issue with you.

I can say I am a fan, only because I personally know seven families who are my friends who have adopted children out of foster care who couldn't be happier with their children, some in my extended family. (Eight if you count my SSs' BM's younger children's adoptive family.) I've seen firsthand the joy of the adoptive parents and how lovely and complete their families are. In five of these families, those children are their only children, and only opportunity they would have had to have children.

Again, you obviously aren't reading the post. Adoption is a wonderful thing and anything different from that never came out my mouth. My DH is adopted and we also plan to adopt in the next couple of years not to mention the many adopted clients my DH counsels. Please go back and review but don't respond. Review and be silent. ::::puts finger to mouth::::::Shhhhhhhhh. :::::Saran tip toes off ever so quietly as not to stir J&A up again::::::::

ChristyML · December 2011

Saran:
J&A2008:

fellesferie:
My advice would be to leave. Go to your parents, a friends house, a shelter--anywhere. YH is not a good man.

Ditto. Except it sounds like HE should be kicked out, if you're the one providing the "perks."

There are just so many issues here. One issue alone could be workable, but at the core, I think you've said it: he doesn't want to be there, he just wants the truck, heat, air, etc.

You'll feel so much better about yourself and your parenting once he is out of your house. He sounds like a complete drain on your finances, emotions and self-esteem.

You might consider adoption for your third? Bringing another baby into your life when you're going to be transitioning to a single parent might be a lot to handle.

It kills me how people just put stuff out there. Do you even understand the MANY issues that can come from a decision like that? {{{Have you ever talked to someone who found out that their birth parents were married, had children, then gave THEM up cause either it was one too many children in the home}}}}} or mom and dad werent getting along so last baby had to go.

It's not the same as being a teenager or single woman and finding yourself pregnant and you have no financial stability. That kind of adoption is a whole nother ballgame and not to just be taken lightly or thrown out there cause she's married to a grown child who needs to grow up.

Please be responsible with your advice people!

The thing in the parentheses is why I was given up for adoption. I agree with you, be smart and think before you post...

sabrina69barnes · December 2011

J&A2008:

I can say I am a fan, only because I personally know seven families who are my friends who have adopted children out of foster care who couldn't be happier with their children, some in my extended family. (Eight if you count my SSs' BM's younger children's adoptive family.) I've seen firsthand the joy of the adoptive parents and how lovely and complete their families are. In five of these families, those children are their only children, and only opportunity they would have had to have children.

Adoption can be great but it also has the potential to cause a lot of pain. You've seen the joy of the adoptive parents but it doesn't seem like you've seen the pain it can cause a mother who give up her child and the pain it can cause that child. Sometimes adoption is the best chioce but that doesn't mean it's ever a good choice. It's seems like you are throwing adoption out their like it's some great solution when it's not and I'm personally offended when people do that. I think it's irresponsible to give out advice like that when you don't know what you are talking about but people give out stupid advice on the internet all the time. I'm pretty sure OP hasn't lived her whole life under a rock so I'm betting she knew adoption was an option if she was interested.

J&A2008 · December 2011

sabrina69barnes:
J&A2008:

I can say I am a fan, only because I personally know seven families who are my friends who have adopted children out of foster care who couldn't be happier with their children, some in my extended family. (Eight if you count my SSs' BM's younger children's adoptive family.) I've seen firsthand the joy of the adoptive parents and how lovely and complete their families are. In five of these families, those children are their only children, and only opportunity they would have had to have children.

Adoption can be great but it also has the potential to cause a lot of pain. You've seen the joy of the adoptive parents but it doesn't seem like you've seen the pain it can cause a mother who give up her child and the pain it can cause that child. Sometimes adoption is the best chioce but that doesn't mean it's ever a good choice. It's seems like you are throwing adoption out their like it's some great solution when it's not and I'm personally offended when people do that. I think it's irresponsible to give out advice like that when you don't know what you are talking about but people give out stupid advice on the internet all the time. I'm pretty sure OP hasn't lived her whole life under a rock so I'm betting she knew adoption was an option if she was interested.

I have seen children removed from a home where they were neglected and abused by the BF, and the mother's rights terminated (BM). She left him multiple times, but always came back, and always had a reason. He treated my SSs the same way OP's DH treats her daughter.

Yes, there may be pain from being the child who is given up by his mother, but certainly no less than the pain of being forcibly removed or living in a home where he suffers verbal abuse and emotional neglect by a parent.

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DH.. favoritism? Help!

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