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January 2012 Moms
Sascha3
member
Q re: push presents vs. other "Hallmark" holidays?
Sascha3
member
I saw that several people in the push present thread think it is a stupid made up Hallmark-type thing to get guys to buy presents. Do you also dislike Valentine's Day and Mother's/Father's Day presents? (The woman who created Mother's Day in the U.S., Anna Jarvis ended up opposing the holiday after it became so highly commercialized)
Layla 01.08.12
Chloe and Vivian 07.23.13
My Gang. Halloween 2013
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Q re: push presents vs. other "Hallmark" holidays?
To answer my own question, I do not dislike holidays, but I am not a huge holiday person in general. Sometimes I buy presents, sometimes I don't. This includes birthdays and Christmas. Mostly, what I want on a special day is a nice dinner out or a weekend trip. I don't really care about presents, as an adult. (I surely did as a child)
My husband was raised in a religion that does not celebrate any holidays. The only big celebration in his family is anniversaries. But he is very good at buying me presents and doing special things year round on random days, so I never feel jilted. Lucky for him, he married someone who doesn't care too much about holidays:) He did buy me a "push present", but basically, he bought something he wanted to buy anyways and just called it that. I had never heard of one before. He has 8 sisters and they always talk about them, so maybe that is why he had the idea to even use the term.
The whole thing does seem kind of silly to me, but then again most holidays that "require" gifts do. My favorite thing about any hoilday is special time together with family or a loved one.
Layla 01.08.12
Chloe and Vivian 07.23.13
My Gang. Halloween 2013
I just try to avoid any holiday being soley about gift giving. so we try to change it a way that we can dump the massive consumerism and focus on what we think is important about the day.
on christmas we will open a few presents. sing holiday songs as a family, cook aspecial treat for breakfast together. deliver cookies we made to a widow at our church and talk about thebirth of our lord (on a level that a 2yrold would understand.
for us we struggle with trying to make easter be less about bunnies delivering candy than the lords resurrection. its a hard transition to make but i feel likeitd necessaery
My push present is the baby. I think it's silly to demand a push present, but if my husband just happens to also buy me something blingy and fabulous and gift it to me after I give birth, well, I wouldn't complain!
On hallmark holidays, I think they're a liitle silly,like in MI we have sweetest day. A second Valentines Day in October. I don't even like Valentine's Day, now I have a second holiday to endure? Bleh.
If people want to celebrate them it's their perogative. If it makes them happy and doesn't affect me, then why bother to get upset about it?
Make a pregnancy ticker
I am originally from Michigan and I think Sweetest Day is the stupidest holiday of all!!! I never even knew it was a Michigan thing until I moved West and no one had ever heard of it. Yeah, what a way to make single people feel inadequate twice a year instead of once, haha. I had a friend who is over the top about holidays and gets so bent out of shape about Sweetest Day if she doesn't get a present...so annoying.
And Thinkerbelle....I don't think any woman who got a push present does not consider their baby a present in itself, the best you could ever have. But I absolutely agree that no woman should ever ask for or expect a present for giving birth. If a husband does it on his own accord, fine, but there should be no disppointment at all if he doesn't. If there is, that mom has way bigger problems!
Layla 01.08.12
Chloe and Vivian 07.23.13
My Gang. Halloween 2013
the first I heard about push presents was around 2007 or8, when a bunch of celebs were having kids and the hubbys were buying them ultra expensive presents for after she gave birth.
My DH wont be buying me a push present. not that i am aware of anyway. He didnt with DD, so why do it with this LO?
All gift giving holidays are over commercialized. Even easter is becoming a gift holiday. When they start advertising halloween presents I might just give up on our culture. lol
I do wonder though... who came up with push presents? is this something that has been around for centuries in some cultures or something the U.S. made up?
I just wikied it. I guess it has long roots in England and India, but only came around in the US in 2005 and 2007 by 2 jewelry companies...surprise, surprise:) They quote an exec from baby center about it being a trend that more and more mothers guilt the father's into participating in for the torment their bodies go through. Ick. Obnoxious.
So maybe I will stop admitting I got a push present and just say it was a present. It was a few months ago, so long before the pushing. And it was something he had his mind set on buying and there is little stopping him at that point:) I will say that I am glad it wasn't jewelry. The only jewelry I wear is my engagement and wedding band. It was for our whole family to enjoy.
Layla 01.08.12
Chloe and Vivian 07.23.13
My Gang. Halloween 2013
I had heard of the idea of a push present, and told my husband about it. I told him I thought it was silly and I was content with the baby being my present.
Well he surprised me with an iPad this Sunday and said it was a present because he was so proud of me and just wanted to let me know how much he appreciated everything i am doing to start our family...
I am not really into the commercial holidays in general. We don't celebrate Valentine's Day (in fact we spent our first three apart!), but I know Mother's Day and Father's Day will be a big deal. Not to say we'll go overboard with presents, but a "put your feet up and relax" coupon sounds good.
Not really into push presents either.
My husband thinks push presents are stupid and is terrible at buying gifts... for my birthday this year I got a sweet card that said he would buy carpet for the baby's room.... I really wanted the room carpeted but not for my birthday.
Since he does not understand how badly I wanted some sort of gift I got a necklace engraved with my LO's name for myself
We do not celebrate Valentine's Day.
Christmas is about the family time and the religious implication.
I think Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because it's about food (lol) and family. Period. (Okay, and football.)
I'm trying to not be judgmental. I think that commemorating the birth of a child is a lovely idea and how that is handled is different for everyone. I don't like the term "push present." To me, the name is crass. Additionally, that thread from yesterday, I was rereading it last night and the OP's comment that her mother was getting a push present too for basically "putting up" with her pregnant daughter struck me as crass, too. But maybe I'm reading it wrong or misunderstanding.
My mother has been the one to take me to the hospital, go to my ultrasouds, goes to my doctor visits, go to all my birthing classes, listen to me complain about everything pregnancy related, and is the one that will be in the delivery room. Excuse me for having a DH that is a truck driver and is unable to be there for any of these occasions. My mom is also the one that will watch my LO when I have things to do since my DH will be on the road. My mother deserves a pushee gift because she has no obligation to do any of these things, but she has for me and I love her for that.
That's very sweet of your mother. The phrase "putting up with" does not sit well with me and that is the phrase you used yesterday in explaining your reasoning. I've also never been comfortable with the concept that people "deserve" monetary gifts. That's just a quirk of mine I guess. You are clearly blessed with a caring and supportive mother who deserves thanks and appreciation. If that's in the form of a monetary gift, okay, to each their own. Since she's buying it for herself, does she even need a justification? I didn't go out and buy a BMW because I deserved it, I went out and bought one because I could afford it and I wanted it. *shrug*
I love mother's day. We go to dinner for valentines day - but we don't celebrate with presents or anything. It's just nice to get out together on such a romantic night.
I think push presents are silly - I just do. But I won't judge people who participate in them. To each thier own IMO.
We acknowledge the major holidays like Christmas, birthdays, and anniversaries with gifts. It's never anything big though. Neither one of us are into big, expensive things. I think we just ended up going out to dinner last year for birthdays (our birthdays are 3 days apart, so we celebrate them together). We barely even acknowledge Valentine's day, and we may do something small for Mother's/Father's day (haven't had the reason to celebrate it before). Otherwise, we save the special gifts for the holidays we actually recognize.
I'm pretty sure DH has never heard of a push present, so I'm not expecting one. Honestly, I hadn't even heard of them until there was a discussion about them on the 3rd trimester board a week or so ago. It just sounds like an excuse to get more stuff if you ask me. I'd be grateful if DH surprised me with a gift, but I'm not even going to mention the concept to him.