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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Smootchy
member
when you host a holiday and people ask what to bring...
Smootchy
member
have you ever said cash?
My sil is having christmas eve. When I asked what I should bring she said she wanted people to throw money...
I totally get that to host is expensive, plates, cups, decorations, food... all that. But I've never heard this and was taken back for one second.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: when you host a holiday and people ask what to bring...
....is it also tacky to host and when giving out or deligating food, to have an aunt bring the meat?
...I have another sil who is doing christmas. She's making lasagna and asking for the prime rib to be brought by the aunt that "normally" does christmas.
Jack Emmett born on 2/2/10 after 17 cycles and a miscarriage
Calvin Wyatt born on 1/10/12. Our surprise baby!
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That is worthy of a
WTF is wrong with people.
In DH's family it is understood that everyone pitches in to the meal in some way, whether by bringing a dish and/or giving cash to help out whoever bought the majority of the food. For example, Thanksgiving dinner cost about $135 for everything. We divided the 135 between the 6 different families that were there. If someone brought a dish, the amount they spent was deducted from their share. If they didn't bring a dish, then they needed to pitch in that amount.
However, this is understood throughout the family. Most of the get-togethers are at my house.
The way she brought it up was tacky, though. She should really have delegated responsibility of certain items: Joe brings plates, cups, napkins and Mary brings the dessert, etc.
If she's making lasagna, why is there prime rib? If the aunt is specifically asking for prime rib for herself because she doesn't like lasagna, then the aunt should be responsible for bringing said prime rib. But if she's asking aunt to bring prime rib for EVERYONE, then that's wrong.
Do you not have a pasta and a meat?
...guess it's the polish/italian side I'm going to...
The aunt is not asking for it... But we've always had pasta and meat.
Nope. We're neither Polish or Italian, though. The meat is in the lasagna, so we wouldn't have an additional meat.
We usually just do potluck style snacks for Christmas, though, too.
I guess it's what the family does but I just can't wrap my head around this at all. So if family #3 didn't bring a dish, they had to pay you 22.50 which you then divided between the other 5 families. So each of the families would get 4.50 and they (family #3) can eat turkey. What the heck?
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One person generally picks up the tab on the majority of the meal, so one person ends up getting money to pay back for everything. With Thanksgiving, most of the food is prepped in one location and the meal/dishes are the same every year. Only a few dishes are made separately and brought. Everyone pitches in during the main cooking.
For instance, this Thanksgiving was 22.50 a family. SIL bought most of the food, so ended up getting paid. Only one of the 6 families did not bring anything, mostly because SIL had it all covered as far as picking up the food.
I don't know, it makes sense to me. And everyone in the family has agreed to doing it this way. We get together a LOT and it works well for everyone.
Asking people for money is tacky.
I also find it tacky when my MIL tells me she wants "to pay for her share" when we host.
I have a large family. I have hosted dinner for over 30 - we had both turkey and prime roast. I couldn't cook both, so my brother cooked the turkey. He offered, I accepted.
I now have a double oven, so if that situation happens again, I'd cook both...and no I wouldn't take donations (even though my jaw drops every year when the butchery gives me the total).
wow, that is just rude. I agree with most people on here about that.
If someone asks if they can bring something its usually a dessert or maybe a side dish. But nothing like money, if you can't afford to host then you should not have it at your house.
If the host says nothing then I usually still bring something to their home, either flowers or a bottle of wine.
What? Wait, what?
Just bring a bottle of wine and your side-eye.
In my entire life I have never heard of anyone bringing or asking for money for a holiday gathering for family OR friends. I guess to each their own but big side-eye on your SIL
I totally would have assumed she was joking and laughed!
In my experience the host has basic drink offerings (wine & soda), prepares main dishes (so, meat AND pasta, if that's tradition) and maybe a couple other things if they're able to. Guests bring sides/apps/desserts. If the host can't do the big jobs, they shouldn't host.
I was also taught, if the host says to bring nothing, to always bring some wine/flowers anyway. Maybe you could side-step the tackiness by giving her a thank-you card for hosting with a gift card inside.
He's growing up, but he'll always be my baby!
Nathan--11/4/10
...big brother to...???? Due March 2014!
Wow, that's pretty ridiculous! We're hosting Christmas this year after just hosting Thanksgiving. DH's aunt and uncle were so thankful they offered us $200. I told them there was no way I could accept it.
Whenever my SIL hosted Christmas Eve they asked us to pick up the pizza and wings. She never paid us back. But when we asked if we could take it over (last year, young baby and all) she said it was easier for her to have it. Sure, it was. She didn't have to do a thing!
DD2 8.22.13
MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18
Nope, unless it's how it's always been done, that's tacky.
We always do it pot-luck style when we do Thanksgiving and Christmas get togethers though. The host makes the majority of the food, and everyone else brings additional sides, desserts, drinks, or whatever else that is needed.
Ummm.. no.
I'm hosting a Christmas brunch for our group of friends this year and I asked people with no kids to bring stuff (easy stuff, like croissants, fruit & crackers) so that those of us with kids could have a relatively relaxed holiday (as much as you can with toddlers and newborns) but I'm providing the bulk of of the food and little gifts for all the kidlets.
I don't feel bad for asking for a little help, but I would never dream of asking for cash.
Eleanor Noelle - 18/05/12 Claire Elisabeth - 16/-5/10
No. This is a huge pet peeve of mine. I am a firm believer that you can throw a party on any budget, make things yourself, shop at the dollar store, dial it down a notch or two, have the party you can afford. Or don't have it at all.
We just got invited to a holiday party where the guy went on and on about how he was going to throw a wine tasting, cook gourmet food etc and he wanted us to each throw in $20 for the party. That is $40 + a baby sitter. No thank you. I would rather go to a restaurant! Here is an idea. Scrap dinner, buy reasonably priced wine or ask everyone to bring their favorite bottle.
Love it, and I concur.