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LGBT Parenting
Donor Dilemma.. Someone Help!!
My fiencee and I want to start trying.. were getting married in 2 years but i can't wait that long, I don't want to. I have PCOS so getting pregnant is most likely going to be hard already and I hear a lot that women with PCOS have a much harder time conceiving after 30. So in my head my Clock is ticking.. LOUD!
So here's my dilemma. My Fiencee is Native American, full blood Native American. Does anyone know how hard it is to find a full blood Native American who is will to donate to a Lesbian couple and not co-parent???
I want this potential child to be as much of her as possible seeing as how I'll be the one carrying but we have been searching for over a year now and its just impossible. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want her to just give in and agree to a non-Native American donor and then later feel like she has no connection to our child. That would just kill me! I want a baby more than anything in this world, I feel as if i was born to be a mom, but at what cost to my partner??
Can anyone help?? Have any of you been in this type of situation?? I'm at a loss and starting to think this will never happen for me.
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Re: Donor Dilemma.. Someone Help!!
My partner is non-Caucasian and a unique mix and we found a great match at California Cryobank. It looks like they only have mixed Native American (or American Indian as they list it), but you could start there and look at other banks.
You can also consider finding a known donor, either in person or through friends/internet. In some communities/cultures, donating sperm is more taboo, but it sounds like you might want to explore all your options and have some conversations with your fiancee before making a decision and moving forward.
Like Joy said, there are a bunch of donors at California Cryobank that are partially Native American. I have a hunch that you will have a hard time finding a full blood Native American sperm donor at a sperm bank. It seems that's hard to find, as is full blood African American. In our case we went with a donor that was 1/2 African American, 1/2 Caucasian.
Personally, a know donor was not for us AT ALL, but if that's something you're considering, it may be easier to find a full blood Native American donor. Does your fiancee have a family member willing to be a donor?
It's probably close in line to finding a red head donor through a cryobank, lol. That was one of the main criteria for the first child we had. This second time around, we couldn't use the same donor because he had to be retired from the program due to a neural tube defect found in another pregnancy. This time there was one red head in the same bank that we used last time and he had ONE unit left stored in the bank at the time. So, assuming with our luck that it would take more than one cycle to have a BFP, we just went with a blonde donor (like me). DD with first donor is turning blonde anyhow now. Funny how things work out...she looks more like DW than me lol. Anyhow, my whole point was that we loved Fairfax cryobank and I have been satisfied with everything with them.
www.fairfaxcryobank.com